Monday, October 20, 2008

Two faced Conniving Kal Korff and his bogus standards

I have observed something rather peculiar about Kal Korff. Well maybe it isn't so much peculiar as obvious and contradictory. Kal is a regualr filler of air time on Rob McConnel's Xzone radio show. Stick with me here for just a moment.

Kal has accused others of having a different set of standards. I want to point out here that Kal rails against anything he considers fraud. Kal rails against UFOs and psychics and the like. So if this is the case then why has Kal chosen not to hold Rob McConnel accountable for allowing these same people to go on the air and for allowing them to advertise on Rob McConnel's website and in his newspaper?

I think I have brought forth this very same probelm before and I believe it says oh so much about Kal and his bogus standards. Kal ignores the issue so long as he has a spot on Rob McConnel's show. A tit for tat sort of arrangement I suppose but Kal is showing how two faced and selective he is. Kal, this is an all or nothing world we live and if you can't apply a set of standards evenly to all then you should not be doing it all. Really let us just face the truth here and it is that Kal Korff IS NOT a champion of consumers. Some might say Kal is GUILTY of CONSUMER FRAUD for turning a blind eye. Nothing like buttering both sides of your bread there eh Kal? You have to stop and ask who else is greasing Kal's palm and what are they getting in return?

In other news it seems that Kal is littering his website with videos that are nothing like the amateur production he films with a camcorder. It has been nice not having to see Kal showing the world he is still on a crash course with an inevitable and complete mental breakdown.

I did receive some interesting news from F1 Racer. Too bad the other person involved did not want to go on the record about her experience with Kal. Let's just say I would never hire Kal to mow my lawn, rake my leaves, change the litter box, or watch my kids. Oh and I wouldn't allow him to give my kids English lessons.

You are disgusting Kal and a lowlife coward. I don't know how you can stand to look yourself in a mirror without vomiting and pissing yourself each time.


Brad said...

I think the little "problem" with the "missing" Ipods and Macbook has Kal seriously backed into a corner these days, plus the private English tutoring gigs seem to have dried up (and thank God they have).

I think Kal must be planning an enormous comeback. I just can;t wait to see what he'll do to top himself this time....

Brad Hudson
Owner/Operator, Millenium Falcon

BritinPrague said...

Well, in British slang "to top oneself" = to commit suicide.

And frankly I can't wait to he tops himself, period. I don't care how he does, it ....

BritinPrague said...

...and talking of slang - British or otherwise - where are the "10,000 expressions that you PROMISED you'd post on your crappy website, "Colonel"? (see:

Karl Korff said...

...does F1 Racer think that Korff will post a video in the near future threatening the government of the Czech Republic over their 'uncritical thinking' as regards their age of consent laws....?

...his "WMD-findin' Pal", Scott Ritter, had similar problems at a Burger King restaurant in the USA, as reported in the media a while back...

Squonkamatic said...

Ew ... I don't even want to know.

Anonymous said...

Think I already have a clue about what F1Racer was investigating. Serious matter indeed and you do have to be careful. They nailed Wendelle Stevens for it but in general U.S. laws are far more stricter then European.

Kurt Peters said...

Does it seems like a few years ago Kal had to move from the US to Prague to avoid prosecution for something?

Then his brother's legal problems triggered a law enforcement revulsion on Kal's part.

Anonymous said...

Afternoon all,

Sorry to drag you all off-topic, but a friend of mine is after a private English teacher for his 14-year-old daughter. My friend is well aware that Prague is awash with scam artists, slackers, incompetents and talentless morons from across the pond (and indeed, the English Channel), so he insists that the successful candidate for the position meet several requirments, including:

At a bare minimum, he or she must be able to construct a simple sentence without making several elementary spelling or grammatical errors; and he or she must be completely trustworthy around adolescent girls. It would also be nice if he/she could wash themselves regularly, be of sound mind and possess a truthful and honest nature.

Does anyone know of anyone who would fit the bill?

BritinPrague said...

Well, hmmm....I do know of one guy.

He's functionally illiterate, doesn't shower too often, is a habitual and pathological liar and is as mad as a hatter. But I couldn't swear to him being the other thing, and I know he needs the money...

Unfortunately, I'm afraid he's in Switzerland right now tracking down terrorists and begging for money on the street and stuff. But I bet he could hitch-hike back in two or three days. How soon do you need him to start...?

Anonymous said...

Can you say, nanobot components?

What say you Rob?

Either they is or they ain't.

What be they?

StopLYINGKorff!!! said...

At this point, I believe that McConnell is as foul and loathesome a creature as the "Colonel".

Can you not act like a man for once, McConnell?

Anonymous said...

I guess we know the results of that nanobot testing, eh? McConnell is looking for to fill some airtime and nothing more. Rob McConnell is the Jerry Springer of late night radio.

Anonymous said...

I suppose Korff is like one of the midgets caught in a love triangle on Springer? lol

Anonymous said...

Kal Korff doesn't even qualify as a mental midget though he does suffer from little man's complex and another "small" complex. You'd have to ask Martina about that one.

BritinPrague said...

STOP PRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyone watched the YouTube video entitled "Rob McConnell Addresses Targeting of Kal Korff by Blogger"?

It was added three weeks ago, but when I clicked on it, I get "This video has been removed by the user."

Kult of Kal said...

Dammit - all the archived Expres papers are gone.

Shit, shit, shit...I really want some of those. Did anyone happen to download or keep any pdfs?

BritinPrague said...

That's bad news.

I'm afraid the only thing I can offer is this - to my mind, the greatest Kal's Korner of all time:

Anonymous said...

Well, my Czech wife and I - both devoted readers of this blog have decided to take a month or two's break from all things Kal.

We have become obsessed with the irrelevant little dipshit. We have children to support and livings to make ... rushing to the computer to check the latest postings (before we've even given the kids their breakfast) and constantly checking back throughout the day and last thing at night is clearly A BAD THING.

So we're going cold turkey. But you all keep fighting the good fight. I firmly believe that this blog has been instrumental in kicking the little fuckwit back in his cage and keeping him there. Any letup, however, could see him sticking his snout out again.

Good luck, all!

Anonymous said...

...but my promise to you remains good, "Colonel". If I ever bump into you on one of my many trips back to Prague, you are going to wish you had never been born.

Anonymous said...

Kal Korff has been so exposed by this blog that I don;t even bother doing regular check ins anymore. Kal is washed up and has been exposed for what he is. Who cares what Kal does?

Anonymous said...

Yes, but we want to prevent any more Vojtek Sedlaceks being taking in by this heartless, ruthless, unscrupulous con man. For that reason alone, this blog earns its keep.

Squonkamatic said...

I hope you keep looking in from time to time, Jimmy, though I do agree that even week to week Korffing has sort of hit a brick wall. Until he gives us some new material the well has pretty much run dry for the time being. I won't visit his website due to the malware issue and don't have a YouTube account anymore so my input is solely based on what I see here. The nanobots are a fraud, Kal K. Korff is a scam artist of some sort or another and once you've got that down, where else is there to go?

The absence of YouTube material is sort of interesting though, I say something happened to his camera or he got into some sort of spat with them and is disgruntled about it. Not that it really matters, tis the season for Frankenstein movies with Peter Cushing anyway. Those never get old!

Brad Hudson said...

Korffing has, indeed, hit a low ebb. I'm pretty sure Kal must have cur some sort of deal to avoid legal prosecution and part of the deal was to keep his mouth shut. But, if I know Kal, he won't be able to keep quiet for long.

We'll probably have more to laugh at than we bargained for in no time.

Until then (shamless plug), check out my amateur blog:

I'd say you'll be glad you did, but who knows?

Brad Hudson
Level 3 Korffologist

Anonymous said...

You can count on two things in this life: death and Kal K. Korff not being able to keep that gaping hole of a mouth of his shut.

Looks like Colonel Crazy has been signing in to his account but I am surprised there hasn't been a single video put up by that raving discontent for a while now.

Here's what likely happened:

-Korff had to sell his camera to pay for rent and food.

-Korff dropped the camera in a brief moment of clarity when he realized how much of a crazy ass he has been.

-Korff has finally had the big breakdown and has joined the Billy Meier cult - if you can't beat them you might as well join them.

-Korff is living in a place where Internet service is unreliable and slow.

I'll take the first and last one as my best guess. It must be drivbing him even more crazy not being able to post his delusional rantings for all the laugh at.

I have noticed Korff is stepping away from ufos and bigfoot and the like in favor of terrorism, music videos, documentaries, and the US presidential election.

I predict this sad little man Korff will return to screaming about police conspiracies, ufos, bigfoot, Roswell, and getting his book published just as soon as the election wraps.

Trust me, this is a temporary diversion for Korff and the little lone nut can't help himself. It is also just a matter of time before he gets the boot from Switzerland.

Anonymous said...

It's all a set-up for some kind of book, or public test.

"Look, I told you all that all of you would be part of my my next big project..."

Korffing, I like that.

Could a t-shirt be far off?

Anonymous said...

Scientology? What about Korffology? TM all rights reserved blah blah

Anonymous said...

Just when you start having a bad, things aren't going your way, and you begint ofeel a bit miserable just remember this: you could be Kal K. Korff.

The world is brighter simply knowing I am not Kal K. Korff, also known as God's bad joke on the world.

BritinPrague said...

"the little lone nut can't help himself"
---precisely. He will pop up again - braying, boasting, threatening, lying, insulting... And this blog will be here to call him on it and slap him back into his hole. That is its great value. Don't ever close this blog down, KIAI.

Kult of Kal said...

True enough, this blog has grown hungry from Kal's lay-low stance.

This weekend, I'll help how I know I can. I'm taking the responsibility to help inject some fresh Korff satire to KIAI.

Give me until Monday to deliver a new vid to you guys.

KIAI - once I'm finished, I'll send you the vid link by e-mail for a new post.

[Sorry, but could someone remind me & post what the KIAI e-mail address is?]

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

If you disregard and discount Kal's lies, how much of what issues forth from his trap are we left with? Five percent? Two percent? Certainly, only humdrum everyday utterances, such as "what a beautiful day", "I hope mom's made beans on toast for supper" and "I gotta go take a leak". Everything else - and I do mean virtually everything - is lies and fantasy.

Imagine being stuck in Korff's world. Just try to imagine it....

Anonymous said...

"Colonel" Kalvin K Korff.

What a freaking loser.

The kindest thing would be to put him down.

StopLYINGkorff!!! said...

Amen, brother. If I didn't already know it began with "K", I'd say his middle name was "Liar".

How do I loathe thee?
Let me count the ways...

Anonymous said...

Quick question, "Colonel", if I may....

What happened to the below (which was copied from your website some 18 months ago and deleted within a few days)? announced today that its President and CEO, Colonel Kal Korff, has been invited to participate in an upcoming panel of experts by the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) concerning the proposed Missile Defense Shield which is being planned for the countries of Poland and the Czech Republic. After finishing a counter-terrorism raid which netted some al-Quaeda connected suspects, Colonel Korff just recently returned from Oregon where he went undercover, first by shaving his head completely bald, and then by meeting with various lawyers, Federal officials, and key members of the media.

Colonel Kal Korff has been chosen to be the Host and official spokesman for a series of upcoming spots on Missile Defense technologies and the proposed Missile Defense Systems which are being constructed as part of a global, international effort. Korff was tapped for this high visibility project because he is a popular media figure, has longstanding expertise on the subject dating back to his tenure at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory, and is a polarizing figure on many popular issues. Kal Korff has agreed to do all of the public service announcements for free, in the spirit of true public service.

"Since I certainly DO have the right background to talk about Missile Defense, we filmed these interviews (even the BBC filmed one) and they’ll be on TV soon. Because this polarized certain people, who in reality have an “agenda” (although they deny it), I have now been asked to record some Public Service Announcements on this subject. I’m truly honored and humbled by all of this. These spots will be educational, and neutral.”

Anonymous said...

The ravings of a madman:

Anonymous said...

...or how about this one:

To try and describe Luciano Pavarotti's voice is like trying to describe something you really can't.

The word "beautiful" doesn’t even do it justice, it is something far more than "just" beautiful, if it is even possible to say this.

Pavarotti's voice was unique, and I have personally seen it literally freeze tough "macho men" ... perhaps nowhere greater was this effect felt as it raced through you, as when Pavarotti would belt out his signature piece, Nessum Dorma... [LITERALLY, "Colonel" - are you sure?]

Pavarotti never bothered practicing notes he did not know.

Anonymous said...

...or this one:

"Conventionality is not morality."

This expression was first said by English author Charlotte Bronte.
---Kal, you don't "say" an expression....

"Words of wisdom are priceless, especially when they are communicated and then realized by those who put them into practice."
---words fail, me Kal. That is SO profound. Which great philosopher are you quoting?

"To care enough for anyone else, to make their problems one’s own, is always the beginning of one’s real ethical development."
---I can't find this one on the Internet, either.

"A real friend is someone you think of when you do NOT need something."
---Ditto. Kal - you're not quoting your OWN profound expressions, are you?

"As with every decision or action, it must be taken or measured on its own validity, or lack of."
---Kal - this is too profound for me...

"Real friends are real friends..."
---...are real friends, are real friends...

Anonymous said...

This is a cracker:

There is a recent trend in more modern English, to start spelling the word "kritic" with the letter "K".
---yeah, right, "Colonel"

Anonymous said...

The phrase "just because" essentially means "because" and is said when there are no other words to express. In other words, where a person says "just because" they can also says the word because.

Anonymous said...

...and lastly, check out this piece of garbage:

This stuff was printed in two newspapers (one free paper handed out for free on the Prague metro system and one online), weekday after weekday, for over two years!!!

Anonymous said...

" There is a recent trend in more modern English, to start spelling the word "kritic" with the letter "K". "

LMAOROLF!!! What utter nonsense! Please, Kal, please show me an example of this elsewhere that is not written by you, you pathetic egotistical cretin.

Kal, you're completely full of shit. This statement of yours says much about you. It tells the world you think Czechs are stupid and gullible, and it also tells everyone you actually think you are someone of great importance.

Kal (snaps fingers), time to wake up and realize that if you fell off the face of the planet tomorrow, you might, might be able to count on one hand the number of people who would mourn you.

My guess is the line to piss all over your grave would be longer. Now that is a testament to how you conduct yourself.

Just because your first, middle, and last name begin with the letter k this does not equate to the world suddenly realizing your self promoted importance of the letter.

Again, please show us all Kal where the letter k is being used in "modern English" to replace the letter c.

Kal, please get an education and stop embarrassing yourself by opening your mouth and letting fly forth these silly claims.

Kan you imagine if the letter c was replaced by the letter k? It would look as though kommunism were bakk in full swing. See how utterly ridikulous this looks? Not as ridiculous as you look, Kal.

Anonymous said...

Here's a great drinking drinking game for you! Take a shot every time Kal makes a claim and it doesn't come true. Great, now you have alcohol poisoning.

Ok, let's try this. Take a shot every time Kal replaces the letter 'c' with the letter 'k' and.....crap, alcohol poisoning again.

Wait, try this. Every time Kal claims to be the new CEO and/or CIO of a company take a shot and....damn it! Same result!

Never mind.........

StopLYINGKorff!!! said...

"Robert Todd was always fascinated by things he did not know."
---Genius, Kalvin.

Anonymous said...

Kult of Kal said...
Dammit - all the archived Expres papers are gone.

Shit, shit, shit...I really want some of those. Did anyone happen to download or keep any pdfs?
---well, the HTML versions still appear to floating around. e.g. - going to the following URL and searching for "Korff" will take you to a veritable classic of the genre:

Anonymous said...

Sorry, Kult of Kal ... that URL should be:

Anonymous said...

Search Kal Korff

For more background info, try
Search Kal K korff, then '57 sources'.

Most interesting stuff...


Kult of Kal said...

Thanks for the links guys.

Kal is unbelievable. Unbelievably idiotic, but still able to BS his way to situations like this "BBC panel". Some people give him an inch of credibility which Kal then extends to a mile of "See who I am now!" Scary bastard.

BritinPrague said...

"..still able to BS his way [onto] this "BBC panel".
---the point is that there is no such panel. There never was, and - as I have been assured by the Beeb's man in Prague (whom I know pretty well) - there were never any plans for such a panel. It is all complete fantasy. Unlike Rob McConnell and his laughable "radio station", the BBC does not give free rein to any crackpot who wanders in off the street.

Anonymous said...

Rob McConnell is a dipshit and he'll never give Kal the boot no matter what. Just remember in the words of Rob that anything said bad against Kal is "just more crap." Rob you are a loser and as bad as Kal. Please, Rob, do not insult us again by using your name and the words "investigative journalism" together ever again. Rob could not investigate his way out of wet paper sack with a nuke.

Anonymous said...

If Kalvin were at home in the States, his loved ones would long ago have seen to it that he entered a suitable facility and undertaken the treatment he so desperately and clearly requires. But in the Czech Republic, of course - an alien land - he has slipped under the radar. As far as I can see, he is doomed.

Get help, Kalvin. Only you can help yourself now.

Anonymous said...

Breaking news!! (As Kal would put it)...

Kal will announce tonight on the xzone radio show that he is now a 'VIP executive" with Neil Research Labs of Menlo Park, CA.

Duh, OK Kal. Congratulations!

Their website is:

I couldn't be more unimpressed.


Roger Knights said...

With all these civilian activities over the past few months, isn't the colonel being AWOL? So why hasn't he been court martialed?

Anonymous said...

Videoglue is a defunct video editing software company that has no presence in the market place. Korff tried promoting this company a long time ago and nothing ever came of it. I would be surprised if the software was being used anywhere and they have only had 22 people download it. LOL!

Someone predicted Korff would be back claiming to be a CEO yet again!

"VideoGlue is the first hybrid video production tool, merging nonlinear editing and freeform motion graphics."

Wrong. Lucasfilm, Ltd. was there years ago. Any business Korff is associated with is one to stay far away from.

So when can we expect Korff to snap and lay rants against everyone he hates?

Anonymous said...

If Kal is the CEO of so many companies then why in the hell does he have to sell i-pods to scratch out a living?

Rob McConnell is an absolute fool for allowing this rubbish on the air and it speaks volumes about Rob's own credibility - he has none.

Kult said...

From the Neil Research website:

"With roots stretching back to Apple and Claris, ... "

I think we can guess pretty easily that Kal made some phone calls to his old Claris coworkers and begged "Please, please, can I be at least a part-time janitor?!?"

"But I'll just call myself a 'Very Important Person executive' to make myself proud."

My God, when will Kal ever understand that a title alone does not make the man?

Kult said...

Well, I tried registering an account on the Neil Research forums site (discussion available of products, support, etc...).

Of course, account creation is moderated, meaning someone must check over my request before allowing me to post my first message. I doubt they will let me.
I used the name Martin Tycov as the user name and the KIAI blog address in my 'signature'. We'll see. I just want to post a message congratulating them on hiring their newest "VIP executive."

Brad Hudson said...

How is Kal going to handle being a "VIP Executive" (whatever the hell that is. Does anyone know who Ford's VIP Exec is? GM's? Microsoft's? Hmm, seems that Neil Reasearch Labs is the only company using that title) from all the way on the other side of the globe?

And why is it that every two-bit company that produces anything slightly technical feels it is important to slap "Labs" on their name? Do they think we'll say "Oh, man, it's a LAB!!! Those bastards must really have some kind of set-up there!".

Oh, Kal, why must you continue down this path? You know damn good and well that the people who frequent this blog will blow your whole fantasy out of the water within the week. Hell, within 24 hours we already know that nobody uses the software, the company is 3 years behind the curve, and you already tried to use this company before! Why even bother making shit up any more when you know we'll burst the bubble ASAP? I mean, f1racer got you tossed out of a country, for chris'sakes! Finding out that the company you are now the "VIP Executive" is nothing more than smoke,. mirrors, and just a wee bit of crap is not even a challenge!!

Come on, Kal, give us a challenge here!

I can see where this is headed. kal will make his announcement, followed by the announcement that he is sending McConnell some software to "prove he is what he says he is". Rob will tell everyone he is going to send it to "a top software research scientist" and the both of you will never speak of it again.

I do give you credit, Kal, for actually buddying up with an "investigative journalist" (Man, I almost throw up every time I type "investigative journalist" in reference to Rob McCan't-find-his-own-ass-with-a-roadmap-and-a-guide-dog, I really do).

Hey, Kal, you want to impress me? Send your nanobots, your original research, and all the other bullshit you can think of to George Knapp, a real journalist, and let's see what he thinks. Oh, yeah, he's already on record as saying you're full of shit.

BTW, Kal, since I know you read these comments, I'm your old pal "CoachJMcGuirk". Look me up in Dallas, Texas when you get a chance, and then call my employer. They'll be glad to talk with you, I'm sure.

I don't think you could get a job here, though, since we require a college degree and all your other information must be verified by a source other than the San Jose Bee-Examiner, or whatever that paper is.

Brad Hudson
Dallas, Texas
Captain of the USS Korffisadolt

Brad Hudson said...

You know, I think I'll add a "UFO Hall of Shame" to my website just so I can stick Kal in it. That might draw him out from his lair....

Brad Hudson
Inventor of the "Korff-Buster", a nanobot that can smell bullshit from 30 miles away (increased to 60 miles if said bullshit is from Korff himself)
Dallas, Texas, USA

Anonymous said...

Nicely put Brad!
I'm sure Kal reads this blog. I wonder though if he knows that his old buddy Neil is now a professional piano tuner.
He has a stack of old obsolete unsold 'Videoglue' software kits that he is trying to unload and wants the super iPod salesman in Prague to help him!
VIP executive? What a laugh.


Anonymous said...

You're pathetic, "Colonel".

Kult said...


Yesterday I posted to a new video (simple title: "Kult of Kal 2") to Google video. I sent the URL to KIAI to see if he happens to have any feedback or requests to change anything.

Pending no requests to change anything, KIAI will post the new video here on the blog soon.


Bob in Florida said...

Kult, if it is *half* as funny as the original, I shall soon be laughing my ass off (out loud!).

Eagerly looking forward to it.

3rd rock from the sun

Anonymous said...