BREAKING NEWS! Tomorrow in a newspaper that doesn't exist, I have a nearly 1,000 word baffling piece I wrote concerning what I want to be the truth about what happened to Navy SEAL Team 6 and how they met their tragic demise in Afghanistan. As my last pretend articles that are digitally altered so you really can't read them because I make this shit up and pretend to be syndicated, their deaths were more honorable than anything I could ever accomplish because I am a fucking loser living out my delusions on the internet.
I was given data from a
One of the people killed was a woman for example, and I think about women a lot since the last girl I kissed was my mother and now I cannot be in the same room as a man without someone else being there. Wait. What was I saying before?????
The report Xposes the BS I make up on a daily basis and all my lost years and uselessness could have been avoided, just like my untimely birth as I said months ago, and I am not even in the military though I used to pretend to be a Colonel in a fake organization and I stole valor by wearing military rank insignia on my baggy old leather jacket so I could impress people without any knowledge about me who would think I was someone important! I also like to impersonate a lawyer I've never met in order to try and strike fear into the people I hate. This does not seem to work for long and they are someone able to find out quickly that it was me and not the real lawyer's name I used. How do they find out so fast??????
The source I pretend supplied some secret information to me is utter "poppycock," and I just want to make sure that I sound sort of credible and you never know when a fish will float along and bite on my bullshit so I have something to do with my pointless existence. Needless deaths like this should never happen again, especially to our top elite forces that I love to pretend to be as good as but know I would not amount to a shit smear on the toilet paper they use.
The ends do justify means this time, and vice versa or at least I like to think that way so I can convince myself life has more in store for me than dying alone in a foreign country I ran to so I could avoid responsibility. That and having to kiss Art Bell's ass on worldwide radio in front of millions of listeners sent me over the edge. Okay that's bullshit too because I have been acting like a fucking lunatic for years
As an officially accredited international jerkoff I often get tips and insider stuff I pretend is legit but that I really get off the internet, I love being in the business of "breaking" news that has already happened long before I get off my fat ass to pretend I have some hard hitting Xposes coming out against some major world figures and international subjects in the printed press over the next few months. I am a complete dipshit forpretending to have this latest Xpose published, I hope it causes a stink like the one that constantly follows me but I know everything I do makes absolutely no impact and can only pretend that my pointless actions have some validity to them.
I'd like to go into much more detail on this in my new book, in Volume VI, but we all know the book I have been promising for YEARS is NEVER COMING OUT and I don't understand why my manuscripts that are written on toilet paper and McDonald's napkins keep getting rejected!!!
Any comments about this Liberal, "self-progressive" Democrats? I have plenty eventhough I know everyone knows how fucking full of shit and hate I really am. I just want a free ride that I think I deserve and probably should be down at Occupy Wall Street mingling with the rest of the losers like me. Maybe I'll bring my blue ribbon science fair prize to amaze everyone and a copy of my outdated books that I conned into someone publishing. Those were the good old days when I convinced everyone I was someone important and special and amazing. Hell, I don;t even have a college degree. I know I know I was supposed to be working on a thesis but I'm pretty sure everyone knows that is utter bullshit too. Oh well. Time to move on to the next delusional cluster fuck lie.