Monday, April 13, 2009

166 KIAI pieces later and.....??????

Here we are lads at the 166th piece written here about that numbskull amateur ignoramus Kal Korff and where are we? Perhaps the question should be where is Kal at on all of his promised projects and various other suspect threats??

We can start with what is perhaps the most fucking ridiculous claim of all made by Conniving Kal and that being he has a 500 book publishing deal. So just how many of those books have we seen in print? So where is one of the 500 books Kal claims to have a deal for? Just one book Kal is all I am asking for. A single bona fide published book. There isn't one. Video of Kal sending off his book to his publisher? Nowhere to be seen. You actually have to have a publisher first and Kinkos or babbling on an Adobe document doesn't count.

My other two favorites here and this is a tie are the KPMG audit of Kevin Randle and the lawsuit against Royce Meyer Kal promised repeatedly. What happened Kal did bigfoot or the loch ness monster run off with these? I only ask this because of your unwitty reference to aliens and flying saucers when you claim those you hate have no proof. Where are these two things you PROMISED Kal???? Where???? Just like Kal's imaginary IQ they don't exist and never have!!

A favorite among those in the Czech Republic is what ever happened to the 10,00 English phrases Professor Butt Monkey promised??? What about the missile defense interview that mysteriously NEVER turned up on the BBC??? And do tell us Kal please whatever happened to the evidence that you were EVER involved in either of the O.J. Simpson cases??? For those of you not all that familiar with Kal and his hypocritical practices Kal is infamous for holding people to proving their claims but when it comes to Kal proving his claims he never is obligated. Thanks to a variety of people who leave comments here and have other blogs at least the TRUTH of Kal's actual temporary third party contractor work at Livermore Lawrence Laboratories was EXPOSED for the ruse it is! Your claim of working for and being involved on top secret projects Kal is disingenuous on your best day.

Someone call the police because Kal's police complaints against F1 racer ,David Beidnny, and a whole lot of other people are missing!!! There are too many police charges and reports Kal has claimed to have filed against a bunch of people. None of which are true and Kal is consistent for promising and not delivering. F1 racer was supposed to have had a "date" with the Czech police but the police seem to have not received an invitation to this "date".

Kal enshrines himself in infamy for trying to get people in trouble and making FALSE CLAIMS of having them arrested. If Kal ever threatens to sue you or have you arrested or says he is going to call your employer and file a complaint against you be assured you can laugh it off as meaningless.

What did happen to all of Kal's big talk about Paul Kimball being exposed? Where is all of this material Kal has been promising about Paul??? You are a tad late Kal because we already all know Paul is a filmmaker so it is back to the drawing board with you.

Where is Kal's syndicated column, radio show, television show, reality television show, and where is this $25,000,000.00 budget? If you have that much money then why do you need to sell ipods and reportedly steal them??? Where is this big investigation exposing Milos Bartu??? And did Kal not mention he was getting Milos's business shutdown and that it had all been reported to tax authorities and Apple??? If Milos is feeling the bite he isn;t showing it because his business is still up and running. And what happened to Kal's five-year deal with Vojtek and his positions as CEO and CIO and whatever other acronyms Kal dreams about??????

And where are the nanobots???? Where where where where??? And where where where where are the results from late night radio buffoon Rob McConnel when he said a university was testing the supposed nanobot components Kal sent to Rob???? Perhaps this nantechnology Kal sent to Rob was really a cover for Kal smuggling pieces of a tin foil hat to Rob?

For the love of god I could go on forever with any number of the claims Kal has made that have NEVER HAPPENED and NEVER WILL. Kal is a legend in his own mind or at least what is left of it. How many people here can comment on other things Kal promised but has FAILED TO DELIVER on????? Kal "FAIL" Korff seems a rather appropriate name yes?


Anonymous said...

I once asked Kalvin about his nanobots... He corrected me and he told me it was nanodust, the stuff he sent Rob.

As always, Kalvin will shuck and jive his way around the truth.

In the end, they both have nano nothing.

I asked RMIII what, if anything, happened to him in regards to Kalvin. NOTHING. Nada, nano nothing...

It seems Kalvin attempted to fabricate something against RMII, got a little help and it fell dreadfully flat. Why?

Because Kalvin has been sunk by the very thing he thought would raise him to his meager highest of the past;

The internet and more to the point, Youtube.

Poor Kalvin K. Korff attempt to “go after” RMIII was taken out by his very own web site and those wonderfully comedic videos.

All RMIII had to do what have his people do a search on Kalvin and the gig was up. Crazy fuck wad that Kalvin is, he can't clean up his web presences. In fact, even with all of his self-professed powers, Kalvin can’t even get this blog pulled down.

Here’s to Kalvin K. Korff. This blog wasn’t even needed, all we had to do was sit back and watch the world watch Kalvin melt down, in glorious youtube color.

Kal K. Korff, “Fuck you Bartu” indeed.


Brit_in_Prague said...

Re the lawsuits: in one of his rants, KalIsrael announced that he had halted all existing lawsuits.

His explanation? All the targets of his lawsuits were unable to comment on his allegations because the respective matters were sub judice. By halting the lawsuits, the "Colonel" said, the gags were off and they were at liberty to put their side of the story.

Regarding the "audit" and the non-appearance of any findings therefrom - the Great Man told me in an email that he had "explained all that" on Rob McConnell's show "a few weeks ago". When I enquired as to precisely which show by way of saving myself the task of wading through 20 hours or so of piss and wind, he asked why on earth he should furnish me with that information.

Brit_in_Prague said...

Re the video footage of Kalvin sending off his book to the publishers, Kalvin told me that he had "sold" said footage to Martina. Whether the lady ever chose to post it, he said, was up to her.

He gave me much the same story about his alleged interview with the BBC about the proposed Czech-based missile defence system, as I recall. (Note to newbie Korffers: actually, the original story was that the "Colonel" had been chosen by the BBC to head an expert panel on the missile defence system, whose musings would be broadcast in a series of programmes. But we'll let that one go.)

I.Am.Kult.Of.Kal said...

Holy shit- my all-time favorite KIAI rant right there. Awesome, just awesome.

Kal "Fail" Korff - that's brilliant. Short, simple and true to a fault.

F1 Racer, I about forgot about your supposed date. Guess you got "stood up," eh?

I just wish there were one person that could come forward and say "I was interested in Kal Korff, but then I googled his name and found this site ...and now I know better." To me, that would make all 166 KIAI posts so worth it.


p.s. And you know, if it hasn't happened yet (that someone learned the truth about Kal), it will several times after April 19th.

Anonymous said...

Agreed -- it was a good rant. I was in stitches.

And I'm glad I'm not Don Ecker or David Biedny or even Paul Kimball or RMIII or Gene Steinberg, because it continues to get really bad for them.

Anonymous said...

Just a reminder that the comments board at is still activated....

Paul Kimball said...


Just a note - the April 19th date has been extended by three months, because I'm going to be in Prague in June to do some supplementary filming - a great new story has popped up, and I was going to be in Prague anyway, so...

Speaking of Prague, if any of you are from that lovely city, my ghost investigating co-host Holly Stevens and I will be there from June 1st until the 5th or 6th if you'd like to say hello (after that we're off to Cesky Krumlov, and then back to London for a week or so before heading home). Just e-mail me at:

Keep up the good work!

Paul Kimball

I.Am.Kult.Of.Kal said...


Sad to hear "Worlds Away" release is pushed out. But I have no problem waiting for my to-be favorite movie for 2009.

And believing that Kal is also anxiously anticipating the film, sort of gives its delay that silver lining.

So you're coming to Prague? - Sweet! Sounds like you've been here before. A few of us should definitely get together for some beers.

B Sparks said...

Kal has been strangely quiet as of late, no doubt waiting to unleash a massive counteroffensive against Kimball. Looks like he'll have to wait for a change - poetic justice!

Squirm, Korff, squirm!

Anonymous said...

Paul, be careful of Colonel Crack's crackerjack top notch spies! I will tell you how to avoid Kal's spies - don't go to McDonalds. While most big time espionage players hang out at cool bistros, Kal is on a budget these days so McDonalds will have to do. That and Kal can use his employee discount!

Anonymous said...

Status of Kal's websites as of 4/15/09: EXISTENT

I think that says something, but I'm not sure just what.


Brad Hudson said...

Since we're reliving Kal's greatest hits here, I think I have to go with Kal claiming he was at (and participated in)the international astronomy conference where Pluto was "de-planetized".

It seems odd that the IAU would let into their conference, much less give voting rights to, someone with no degree in astronomy (or any other field), but in Kal K Korff world these things just happen. IAU conferences, missile defense debates, government labs with military contracts.

Kal appears to be a real life Forrest Gump, at least in his own mind.

Keep on making us laugh, Kal. The world needs buffoons like you...

Anonymous said...


Kal did get into that astronomical conference by using his old Metro press pass. He probably tried to do the same thing at the Obama speech. I wonder if anyone knows Kal is running around with invalid press credentials?

Anonymous said...

Kal only utilizing one website now means he can;t afford the upkeep and hence his latest switch to a new server. Check the registration on those names and I will bet if you keep checking they will expire and become available. The only one Kal would likely upkeep is Remember that Kal did sell off after promising the person who used to own it he would not.

Anonymous said...

Those domain names are due to expire in June, 2009.
Meantime, if you want a little bit of amusement from Kal in his 'glory' days, try these: (type Kal Korff in the search box - hit 'Najdi'). - type in Kal Korff, hit 'Hledej'.


Anonymous said...

Might I suggest to KIAI that he allow the occasional "guest rant" to be posted?

Oh, I know that the comments section often yields some gems, but I'd love to see a considered, lovingly crafted, spell-checked think piece from the likes of - ooh, the venerable Squonkamatic (peace be upon him), say - given poll position.

Just a thought....

Brit_in_Prague said...

Hmmm, no comments today ... so let me just post a couple of pertinent questions.

Where is the PROMISED "fact checking commentary" on Obama's speech, "Colonel"?

Where is the PROMISED two-parter on Obama's visit, "KalIsrael"?

Indeed, where is the PROMISED relaunch of "Kal's Korner"?




Anonymous said...

From Kalvin's site:

>>> and now we are busy writing and producing what we are about to tell you. <<<

WTF! Past tense, future tense, I'm very konfused! I have friends from France and they talk English just like this. Perhaps Kalvin isn't writting this stuff?

>>> we are now working on Part 2 and will show videos and footage from President Obama's historic trip to Prague. <<<

Was there a Part 1? Damn, I looked everywhere and I couldn't find one!

Anonymous said...

I cannot wait for Mr Kimball's film.

As for you, "Colonel" - your best option would be to make your way to Nusle Bridge and jump off.

You are finished, you loathsome piece of shit.

Anonymous said...

What I find fascinating is the role of "Martina" - what on earth does/did she think she is/was playing at?

Either she is extremely gullible or extremely sinister.

Anonymous said...

yeah, I've been wondering about Martina lately, she hasn't appeared in any videos for perhaps a year now.

There's been some suggestion that she got wise to Kal's idiocy, does anyone know what happened to the supermodel/executive producer?

Is Martina the insider that Paul Kimball is talking about?

Daniela said...

Yes, but he appears to still be working with a native Czech-speaker (whether Martina or not, who can say?)

Log into my special Kal-dedicated email account: (password: kalisanidiot), and look at the third message down ("Re: PPS: Regarding our recent correspondence‏").

The answer you will find there is in perfect Czech (translation:
"Answers to all of your questions you will find in the new episodes of 'Is It Really True' - a documentary serial produced by Martina Tycova") - command of which language is, of course, way beyond the capabilities of Colonel Korff.

I find the activities of the people around Kal to be far creepier than the man himself.

daniela said...

Oh, and can we all coordinate a mass-mail to McConnell? His address is:

Let's all agree to send single-sentence emails tomorrow (Sunday) at 6pm Prague time, noon east coast (US) time to the effect of: "When are you going to announce the findings of the tests that you allegedly conducted on the alleged nanobot components that Mr Korff allegedly sent you?"

I find McConnell to be just about as creepy as Martina. He claims to be Kal's good "buddy", but if he were, he would be urging him to seek the help he so desperately and urgently needs, rather than encouraging and enabling his fantasizing.

Anonymous said...


Kal is scum, but so is Rob McConnell.

Anonymous said...

I also think the companies who run adverts on McConnell's show should be contacted.

I.Am.Kult.Of.Kal said...


Done, albeit I'm an hour+ late (7:40 local time)

daniela said...

Kult - I suggested we all do it tomorrow (Sunday). Never mind - I'll send off my plea now, too.

Anonymous said...

I see where Kal didn't show up for his scheduled appearance this morning on the xzone radio show.
No need for me to comment on that!

Anonymous said...

I guess Colonel Dumbass couldn't find a phone that would accept an incoming call. That or Kal's new janitorial job won;t allow for him to commence his anti terrorist activities. A job can be a real bummer when it cuts into your S3 time.

I.Am.Kult.Of.Kal said...

Well, Rob McConell replied.

"Kal is no longer associated or affiliated with The ‘X’ Zone in any manner."

That's not all, though. Everyone should be forewarned that soon after Rob's reply came my very first porn spam to this account. I can't say for certain that "X caused Y" so to speak, but it's something to consider.
In any case, that's what spam filters are for.

I'd call this a victory, coming from Kal's once-good-buddy, Rob.

Still, if the porn spam isn't a coincidence, I'd also label it an immature response from Kal's once-good-buddy, Rob.


Brad Hudson said...

Oh please tell me you forwarded that email to Kal with a request for comment. I'd love to see how Kal spins this.

Anonymous said...

I Kal Korff will soon publish my EXCLUSIVE UNDERCOVER INVESTIGATION of Rob McConnell and his X-Zone radio program!! You see, I was so clever in planning this all years ago and inserting myself into Rob's show that he even called me his best buddy. The fool fell for my plan. And why not? I am a SAPHEAD after all and a genius brained gifted former child media sensation to boot!! I am Kal Korff!! Hear me fart and look at my newspaper clippings!!

I am so intelligent that I was able to see rob McConnell would turn on me next just like Paul Kimball, Royce Meyers, Kevin Randle, David Biedni, Don Ecker, my goldfish from 3rd grade, my 5th grade writing teacher, and my imaginary friend Zimmy did!!!!

I will write a 922 volume series on EXPOSING THE TRUTH about Rob McConnell and his show. I also have just signed a new, major, terrific, colossal, incredible, amazing, and chest thumping 4,652 book deal!!!!!

There will be a 5 year production deal with a major television network to produce a series EXPOSING Rob McConnell. I now have a $100,000,000,000,000,000.000 budget to use to EXPOSE the X-Zone and I will sell iPods preloaded with an exclusive 9,653 hour special video EXPOSING the X-Zone! I will also be leading a strategic United Nations panel on exposing the X-Zone and will be filing the first of many lawsuits against the X-Zone in Idaho, England, China, Armenia, India, the Moon and Mars, the Adriatic Sea, Pahrump Nevada, and the IHOP with the cute dishwasher.

Rob will also have a date with the Czech police, the CIA, the Hells Angels, McDonalds, NSA, the SS, the KGB, and Hannah Montana!!! I will also be contacting the Canadian government about Rob McConnell's activities and will have him investigated by Hugo Chavez!

After that I will file exactly 369 complaints against McConnell with various agencies for various things and stuffs. Then I will sell all the rights to Martina Tycova who is the third place loser in some modeling competition and clearly doesn't model now that her face looks like a Czech attack dog kissed her.

Next I will be going after the usual people I stalk through the net and accusing them of being in collusion with Rob McConnell from the start because we all know that everyone is out to get me because I am an important Colonel in an organization I run from my small apartment while I sit on the toilet and daydream. Note to self - buy toilet paper or stop by McDonalds and ask for extra napkins.

You heard it here in this EXCLUSIVE!!!!!!! All hail Kal Korff!!!!!!!!

(note to Kal - this is what we call satire and humor. Please don;t waste any more of legal aid's time with your nonsense talk about lawsuits.)

Anonymous said...

could it really be that Kal is off the X-Zone for good?

I thought he was on there for the past 10 years?

Anonymous said...

>>> Well, Rob McConell replied.

"Kal is no longer associated or affiliated with The ‘X’ Zone in any manner." <<<

Do you think that this had anything to do with the e-mails this blog sent to Rob, in mass, on Sat and Sun?


Anonymous said...

Maybe Rob McConnell found he squeezed all he could out of Kal? Maybe this is a con by Rob to get some sort of reaction? I don;t trust Rob or Kal.

I.Am.Kult.Of.Kal said...

"Oh please tell me you forwarded that email to Kal with a request for comment. I'd love to see how Kal spins this."

hey Brad - thanks for the motivation. I just forwarded Rob's note to Kal. My message:


What happened? Did Rob offend you in some way to make you quit? Was he not grateful enough for his iPod?

Why does Rob answer a question about nanobots with "Kal is no longer associated...".
Are you using the nanobots against him? Will there be an published PDF expose 'book' about Rob McConnell soon? Perhaps a major book deal? Or even, *gasp*, an online TV show?

One of your most loyal of antagonists,
"kult of kal"

Brad Hudson said...

Ha! The countdown to "Operation X-Pose the X-Zone" is probably underway... in Kal's head.

The response ought to be delicious.

Squonkamatic said...

You are too kind with your propz, Jimmy D., though I am afraid I have little to contribute these days that would be considered useful unless 1000 words of KAL K. KORFF IS A USELESS FUCKING TWAT over and over again would pass as a posting. I'm not done Korffing by any stretch, look forward to Paul Kimball's film whenever it is finished and have no intention to cease reading this & the other KKK watch blogs ... but what more is there really to say about the schmuck? He's lying low hoping that a new crop of followers will come into his fold, and as usual the phrase cooperating with authorities comes to mind.

I liked Daniela's comment that the people surrounding the professor and enabling or supporting his madness, both in Prague (that Avimi clown) and in North America (Rob McConnell) are far more creepy & disturbing than Kal K. Korff himself. Every last one of them must be painfully aware that Kal K. Korff is mentally unstable, delusional, and a petty con artist who is just as likely to turn on them as he has the others whom he first amicably associated with and then turned against with violent, unreasoning emotion (Vojtek Sadlacek, Milos Bartu, even Royce Meyers III).

There's an exploitation of Korff going on that is disturbing and actually lends a certain sympathy to Kal's plight. Not much but enough for me to just be sickened by the whole thing as of late.

Anonymous said...

Just received an answer from McConnell: "We are no longer doing anything with Kal Korff".

I replied: "Yes, but what about the results of the analysis that you promised your listeners?"

Doubt I'll hear back...

Anonymous said...

A quote from the comments on another website, 4/18/09:

"As for some of the evidence of hoax you just posted the pictures of "models with strings" comes from Kal Korffs book, spaceships of the pleadies which has been proven to be falsified, read back through the posts and you will find the illustrator who actually worked on the book confirming this. Korff's a confirmed lunatic who had a grudge against Billy Meier from the start. Check where your info is coming from."

'Kal is a confirmed lunatic'
A very apt description.


Anonymous said...

Heard back from McConnell: "All questions will be answered in an up coming expose on Kal Kaorff [sic]."

Mr Kimball's expose, I'll be bound - not an Xzone expose...

David Biedny said...

McConnell is an absolute piece of garbage - he's been Korff's primary enabler for years, has always referred to himself as Kal's close buddy, and now he's going to do an exposé of Korff? That's a total load, and it goes to show that McConnell is a lowlife scumbag.

Anonymous said...

squonk said ,"Not much but enough for me to just be sickened by the whole thing as of late."

C'mon squonk! Korff on, keep on Korffing you guys!

And I sure wouldn't want to be David Biedny or Paul Kimball or Gene Steinberg right now, because things, well, let's just say they continue to get really bad for them, to quote Kal.

Anonymous said...

taxencedNo need to pity Kal Korff. He deserves everything that befalls him. He's been a liar, cheat, fraud, thief, pretender, egotist, antagonist, coward, wimp and a big nobody from the gitgo.
I have nothing against him personally, even though he called me a 'terrorist' and that I had contacted and threatened members of his family. What a laugh!
And he actually believed that Rob McConnell was his 'good' buddy' all these years? Laugh again.
Kal, I hope they're treating you well, wherever you are.