Saturday, December 15, 2012

Kal has the writing skills of a cat turd

So lads here is one of the many uninspiring and pointless articles Kal wrote during his time in the CR. Copied and pasted because I am too lazy to do any formatting. Try not to become too sick at the thought of Kal actually trying to teach people English. Kal you're an embarrassment to your country and the English language..........................................................................................................................

Welcome to Kal’s
Korner. Please
write to me with
your thoughts
and suggestions,
please always
remember that I
am here expresially for you.
My email address is:
It was this last Friday evening,
and I was not  in what we call
“the  best  of  moods.”  To  be
honest, I had a great day earlier
at the U.S. Ambassador’s resi-
dence, but when I left the offi ce
I was not in the best of moods.
  You see, my friend Bob Kivi-
at in Hollywood, yes, that Hol-
lywood,  did  not  send  me  any
material  that  I  could  work  on
over  this  weekend  concerning
the  alien  autopsy  hoax,  which
was  the  original  plan.  So Bob
does  what  we  call  in  English
“lets me down,”  we’ve  now
lost this valuable time. I leave,
and decide next to go shopping
at the Tesco hyper mart on the
way  home.  Since  it  is  Friday
night,  I  know  this  will  be  an
adventure  since  Friday  nights
at hyper marts are very busy.
  After  getting  my  groceries
and then waiting 10 minutes in
line, the store cashier sudden-
ly says that our line  is closed!
This  means  that  myself  and
two  other  customers  behind
me  are  suddenly  abandoned.
Of course, this did not improve
my mood.
  At  this  point,  the  older  lady
standing near me started to go
what  we  call  ballistic.  Like
a  gun  or  a  bullet,  she  got  re-
ally upset.  She  started  yelling
and complaining, while all the
Czechs in the other lines were
smiling  and  laughing  and  just
standing there watching her.
  I  had  a  choice  to  make.  Get
mad  and  get  in  another  line
and  wait  another  20  minutes,
or do the right thing. I chose to
change the situation.
I  went  up  to  the  help  desk.
That’s why they exist, to help.
I  asked  to  speak  to  the  man-
ager. After  a  few  minutes,  the
manager  came  over.  It  was  a
nice young lady, and she spoke
English.  I  told  her  what  had
happened, and I said “I cannot
believe that it is the policy of
Tesco just to cut off customers
like that, and force them to
start all over again at the back
of another line.” The manager
assured  me  that  it  is  not  the
policy of Tesco to do this.
  Next,  the  manager  walked
back with me to the same reg-
ister  that  I  had  earlier  stood
in,  that  had  previously  closed
down  right  in  front  of  me.  In
front of us now was this same
older woman, still busy yelling
at the clerk. This was her way
of “dealing” with this situation.
Now, it was my turn.
  I  smiled  at  the  clerk,  put my
items  on  the  conveyer  belt,
and  she checked me out. She
scanned  the  items,  rang  them
up  in  the  cash register,  and  I
then paid for them.
  Next,  I  smiled  and  thanked
the manager, then left. The old-
er woman who was very upset,
had chosen to be part of the
problem, not the solution


Jimmy D said...

F1 Racer - I just copied you on an email, but it bounced back from your seznam address. Do you have another address?

Jimmy D (kalisaprick AT gmail DOT com)

Anonymous said...

Yes, Korff's writing skills have always betrayed his low level of basic education. He is a simply a fake-ass scumbag.

Even English speaking Czechs, many with a far, far better grasp of English grammar than Koff, are able to see this as soon as they cast their eyes over one of those deplorable, laughable shit stains from the days of Metropolitni Expres.


KIAI said...

Got the message Jimmy D. Many thanks lad!

Anonymous said...

‎Don Ecker's End of the World Show.

Download or listen.

Hear a Korff reference at the 1:48 minute point.

F'ing great!


Jimmy D said...

As we enter the build-up to Christmas, I just want to wish Korffers everywhere a good one. Enjoy peace and joy with your loved ones and don't even think about the evil personified that is Kalvin Karlton Korff.

How will you be spending the holiday, "Colonel"? (a) In India with your princess (giggle)? (b) In Prague with your genius-level son (snigger)? Or alone in some squalid dive, wanking yourself to sleep in front of your stolen laptop?

For all of the people that you have ripped off, lied to, stolen from and betrayed over the years, I hope and trust that the answer is (c).

You are scum, Korff. You are worthless, evil vermin.

Take it away, Santa in a Floppy Hat ...

Anonymous said...

You mean, like we were supposed to believe in your super secret agent lies, or your other countless lies and claims...

Merry Christmas loser.

Kal Korff: Hi everyone. As most of you know, I hope, I live in a time zone that is ahead of the USA since I do not live in the United States, although I am American.

Over here it is now 21 December and the world has not ended. Of course, there was never any evidence it would, but this did not prevent people from lying about it, exploiting it, and people stupidly believing it.

I hope all of those bozos who actually "think" ( to be generous) that the world was "predicted to end by the Mayans" actually LEARN from this so that they can adjust whatever reality distortion field they pretend to live in and get real.

If not, I think there should be a special island set aside for these types, we could call is Bozostan or Woowoostan.

It should be in a prime location in the middle of the Antarctic, you know, where that secret hole is that goes to the middle of the Earth and surviving Nazis fly their saucer-shaped craft from, but that's another story....just ask some of these wankers! They believe this crap too.

Anonymous said...

The lies continue...

42 days later and still no "article".

Lying lair.

November 10 ~ Kal Korff: Hi everyone, my feature article about Obama should hit the newspapers in a day or two. It recaps his history and reviews his victory over Romney and covers how he won it.

Anonymous said...

2007, and the lies will never stop....

One book, 3 books, 5 books, no book(s).

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Video of Col. Kal Korff Sending Off "Secret Wars" Trilogy to Publisher Coming Next Week announced today that starting as early as next week, they will begin posting on the Internet the videotaped footage of their President and CEO, Colonel Kal Korff, sending off his new trilogy book series on terrorism, Secret Wars: Defending Against Terrorist Plots, to his publisher in New York, Prometheus Books. Korff was filmed recently at a media event sending the book off to be published, and took a few moments to briefly answered questions.

Korff is a Colonel in the Israeli-founded Special Secret Services and is an expert in Counter-Terrorism. At roughly 1,200 pages, Korff's book is already being lauded as one of the most definitive works yet written on the subject of terrorism.

It is due for release next year by Prometheus Books and is also a weapon in the war against terrorism.

Korff's book is the result of a 5.5 year classified project.


Anonymous said...

"Korff is a Colonel in the Israeli-founded Special Secret Services and is an expert in Counter-Terrorism. At roughly 1,200 pages, Korff's book is already being lauded as one of the most definitive works yet written on the subject of terrorism.

It is due for release next year by Prometheus Books and is also a weapon in the war against terrorism."

Korff's book is the result of a 5.5 year classified project.



Anonymous said...

I would just like to say, it feels GREAT to have a Master's degree and to be pursuing my career with successful results. Knowing that I was the one who did it is the best part. All the hard work and sacrifice paid off and I was the guy who made it happen. Not someone else for me.

Thank you Kal, for inspiring me by your consistent failure at everything you do, especially in your efforts to cheat lie or weasel your way into recognition you do not deserve. Even amongst frauds you rank as an incompetent loser who never did anything well.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Colonel Korff is now on high stress missions to Tescos... and instead of helping the older woman to calm down he just sorts himself out and leaves her there yelling..and he thinks that's a job well done..that's too funny. What a fucking moron.

Anonymous said...

Kal Korff lacks a college education, flunked several subjects in high school and was removed from his class for remedial education, likely on or around October 19 1973.

He is a loser who has done nothing of genuine consequence with his failed life and a parasite.

Anonymous said...

Fair is fair; he did wight a couple books and he has been able to feed himself for the last 20 years. Just how and who he's been scamming to achieve this is not exactly known but, he has achieved much less than most and more even fewer losers.

In the end, Kal K. Korff could have, should have and might have if only he, shit, fuck you Korff.

Anonymous said...

Let's not beat about the bush.

What Korff deserves - and what he'll get if he ever shows his face around Prague again - is a prolonged and udderly merciless beating.

To within an inch of his life.

Merry Christmas, you worthless piece of shit.

Anonymous said...

Korffing Facebook Update

Korff posted this on the 24th of December; so far he's achieved a response total of 6.

You reap what you sow.

Also, no a single shout out to his family; his Mother, his two Father’s, his dirt-bag brother or his sister. Nothing, no public recognition at all. Zero, from a zero.

Way to go asshole.

Merry Christmas mother fucker.

Kal Korff: Yesterday Merry Christmas Eve and Christmas everyone.

Anonymous said...

Poached from Korff's Face Book Bio.

Notice that he hasn't posted any of the trips he took while fighting for our consumer freedom and planting nanodust in the soil...?

The nanodust soil trip should be of high interest. Right after we turned him into to the authorities regarding that video, Korff started shutting down his lying operation; web site, videos, etc.

Happy New Year asshole.

History by Year


Glarus, Switzerland
Innsbruck, Austria



Nottingham, England
Derby, England


Many trips to Budapest

Moved to Prague

Anonymous said...

Text taken from this new thread material...

"I asked to speak to the man-
ager. After a few minutes, the
manager came over. It was a
nice young lady, and she spoke
English. "

It was a nice young lady...

What the fuck?!

It... was....

Korff talks the same way about his "wife" and the other females he has been around. Treating them as less than himself, as second class...

It... what a fucking asshole.

Anonymous said...

Any "proof" of this Korff? No, of course not. It's just another lie to add to the endless lies of Kal K. Korff.

"I will not support either of these parties. I have different standards. I will continue to work with a groundswell movement which SEEMS to be brewing of fed up Americans who demand that our politicians be not only held accountable but start doing their jobs. Put the voters first, not their vested interests."

Anonymous said...

Korffing Flashback

Remember when Korff would rant on and on about how good Apple phones are and you just must join the cult, etc. Here's a message Korff left on the wall of a Hollywood producers Face Book Wall. Notice what he says about his cell phone and what it can, and cannot do....

This from a man with a 25 Million dollar budget.

February 18, 2011

Kal Korff posted to Robert Kiviat

Hi Bob, please let me call you. I am on travel and have no mobile for incoming, plus it would be stupidly expensive to pay roaming charges and illogical to do so. I have some production leads YOU might find of interest and need to chase down, I merely wish to pass on the info to you about certain networks of interest, etc. Specials are due by the fall, they are looking for someone like you.

Anonymous said...

Bob Kiviat thinks Korff is a fucking lunatic and will never have anything to do with Kal again. The fact that Korff is posting ot Bob's wall is proof that Kal is getting desperate for money and his addiction to any form of fame he can get is coming back.

Anonymous said...

Face Book and Korff Location Update

So, here's what Korff posted recently on his Face Book wall:

December 25, 2012

Kal Korff: Can't wait to see the movie, hopefully I will be able to view it in 3D IMAX.

This is regarding the next Star Trek film. Now, noting that Korff only likes movies based on relaity, not things like James Bond, etc., he does say that he hopes to see this in IMAX on 3D.

Let's see where me might go see this film on IMAX and in 3D.

Czech Republic

Prague – IMAX Theatre, Pal├íc Flora

No 3D yet.


Ahmedabad – Gujarat Science City (15/70 mm, 3D)

Hyderabad – Prasads IMAX (15/70 mm, 3D)

Mumbai – IMAX BIG Cinemas (15/70 mm, 3D)

All 3D.

So, unless Korff will be leading another fake mission some place else:

Korff is in India and I couldn't be happier for him or India.


Anonymous said...

Kal has been an immense Star Trek freak for years. He thinks of himself as Spock. LMAO