Friday, March 6, 2009

Kal Korff proves why he DOESN'T have a high I.Q.

In the tradition of "udder" and "amerture" Kal Korff keeps providing proof about why he doesn't have a high I.Q. Since Kal can't can't come up with any new or original material because he is too busy obsessing over Kevin Randle, David Beedny, and having wet dreams about Paul Kimball and Royce Meyers, Kal is forced to put up videos from you tube on his Internet website.

So what does Mr. I.Q. do? He posts a video from the music group DIRE STRAITS but labels it as DYER STRAIGHTS!! ahahahhahhaaahaha!!!! KAL KORFF IS AN IDIOT!! What makes this all the more amusing is that the video is LABELED with the CORRECT spelling!!!! Just look at the picture I took from Kal's own website!!!

So Kal what exactly does "dyer straights" mean to you??? Is this someone who might apply dye with multiple accuracies in a straight line? Please Kal Korff you fucking idiot please enlighten us all as to what this means and how your "genius level I.Q." is beyond fathoming the simple menaings let alone spelling of these two words!!! ahahahhhahahahahhhaaaaa!!! Dire verses dyer and straits verses straights isn't hard for most people to figure out! But then again this is Kal Korff we are talking about here.

Kal you are an idiot in a league of your own, you truly are you little fruitcake. ahahahahahahaha!!!!!!


Anonymous said...

Kal, you are a twisted little dipshit. Thanks for the laughs there Colonel Colon. Dyer Straights? LOL! Kal certainly is one stupid fuck.

Anonymous said...

Maybe he meant:

Dyer Maker by Led Zeppelin


No, he's just a stupid lard ass, panty waste, malfeasant;

a person who transgresses moral or civil law.

Word for the day.

Fuck Nut

Anonymous said...

What a stupid, ignorant buffoon you are, "Colonel".

Stop_LYING_Korff!!! said...

I loathe you, you illiterate toerag. I absolutely despise you.

Daniela said...

For the past few months, I have been trying to get “Colonel” Korff to answer a few basic questions.

I began with the following:

“Where is the video footage that you promised us of you sending off your latest book to the publisher?
Where is the video that you promised us of your interview with the BBC about the proposed missile defense shield scheduled to be built in the Czech Republic?”

I eventually winkled an answer out of him – in perfect Czech (so I guess that “Martina”, or at least some tame deluded native Czech-speaker or other).

Korff’s answer was that he had “sold” the footage in question to Martina. Whether or not she would use them, he said, “is up to her”.

Daniela said...

...thereafter, the "Colonel" clammed up. I sent him several follow-up questions, which he ignored.

Eventually, he sent me a essage via his website. "This is a message for Daniela...once you stop playing games, we will answer your questions."

I emailed him that I hadn't been aware that I had been playing games; but that if I had, I would cease thenceforth. And would he please now answer my questions.

Since then, I haven't heard back from him.

So here, once again, Colonel, are my outstanding questions, as copied and pasted from the emails I have sent to you. I would be grateful of some answers, at your convenience.

1/ First email:

Dear Colonel,

Whatever happened to
a/ the "Body Human Project", your involvement in which you mentioned several times in your column (for example, see sidebar, page 15: )

b/ the "10,000 expressions" you PROMISED to post on your website (see:

I'm just curious - I'm sure there's a perfectly logical explanation for the fact that you haven't mentioned either a/ or b/ in over a year.


2/ Second email:

Dear "Colonel",

OK, let's try something else.

One simple question - please answer yes or no. Are the following claims from your website (in each case, you deleted said claims a few days after posting them) true in their entirety?

"After finishing a counter-terrorism raid in Germany which netted some al-Qaeda connected suspects, Colonel Korff just recently returned from Oregon where he went undercover, first by shaving his head completely bald, and then meeting with various lawyers, Federal officials, and key members of the media".

"Nanotechnology is being used now to help eliminate terrorists. It is truly one of the last, and final frontiers where this war can be fought and still won. It is currently being deployed in Pakistan right now and Afghanistan, under my initiatives and in operations that I command."

Like I said, a simple question to which there is one simple, one-word answer: yes or no.



3/ Third email:

One other thing, Colonel:
I half-remembered the other day mention you made on one of your YouTube posts something about an audit you had commissioned from KPMG into Kevin Randle. To refresh my memory, I tried to locate the video on YouTube, but I found that it had been deleted.
So, two more questions for you (if I may):
1/ Where are the findings from the KPMG audit that you - over a year ago - promised us?
2/ Why did you delete the video concerning the KPMG audit from YouTube?
I realise that you are very busy with your counter-terrorism activities and iPods sales and such like, but these are fairly straightforward questions, and it should take you no more than 30 seconds to answer them.
Kind regards,
Your fan, Dani

Anonymous said...

You have no honor, "Colonel".

Anonymous said...






(OK - the last one is spelled correctly.)

Ed V. said...

How embarrasing for the 'Colonel' to get a name of a rock band so wrong. Wasn't he an English teacher/instructor for a newspaper and a charity organisation? Shoot, I make typo's - get some words wrong but I'm not American or English and you'd suspect a guy with a 219 IQ to use a spellchecker or at least a dictionary (to be on the safe site). I would also fathom that a guy with a 219 IQ has a firm grip on the English language. Poor Kal, his IQ dropped considerably...

Anonymous said...

Regarding what Daniela said...

I have the same kind of responses from Kalvin.

He WILL not "an-sewer" a question... he, he...

He just blathers on about this and that and I rarley get a pointed response to anything. Then after a

l o n g


v e r y

drawn out response to nothing I've asked, he tells me he'll get back to me....

And, he never does.

Kalvin's very busy fighting crime and working with people, like Mikey Horn, home he really hates but really....

Where else does he have to go?

Expect these types of co-projects with many of his former "audit" victims. Because, again....

What else can he do now? Theres no one left but Rob "I'll get back to you on that nano dust test" McConnell.

Losers the lot of them.

Fuck Nut

Anonymous said...

Kal won't answer your question directly with a simple yes or no response because he's full of shit.

Kal's stupid ass excuse of having sold it to Martina is just another CONvenient way for Kal to dodge having to prove anything. Kal, you were never part of any missile defense initiative and were never interviewed by the BBC. If Kal wants to prove me wrong then he can just post the interview.

Come on! We all know if Kal had actually been interviewed by the BBC that Kal couldn't help but post the video or audio of it up as fast as he could so he could blow his own little horn. Just look at the Larry King stuff.

Speaking of Larry King, it looks like Don Ecker got a repeat invitation for that show, while lowly little Kal only rated a single appearance that was quickly to become his last. It looks like Don Ecker did more media than Kal ever did about UFOs.

Kevin Randle also did a lot of media including a special Larry King broadcast dedicated to UFOs. Why weren't you on this show Kal? BEcause you suck, Kal, you fucking boner.

Anonymous said...

From ass rag's website, "Until the root causes of this hatred and intolerance are systematically addressed and then eliminated, the human race has NO hope for long-term survival as a species, and a war using weapons of mass destructions and terrorist attacks also unleashing them are inevitable, while simultaneously entirely avoidable, if and when the human race truly wishes to fix these 100% M-A-N made shituations and problems."

Kal, you uber fuckwit! PLEASE get some original material and stop using "shituation"!!! You've been using this same pathetic word jumble for YEARS now! It isn't funny now and it was never funny or witty back then. You fucking loser, Kal. A first grader has more wit and better spelling skills than you.

Squonkamatic said...

Hahah hahaha hahaha hahahah hahahaha!!! HEY HOW'S THAT PHD THESIS COMING, PROFESSOR??

You god damn retarded fucking lunatic, you should have put down the UFO picture book and paid attention in class before going out on your god damn fucking pathetic 12 year old lecture circuit tour.

Now we know why this guy can't hold down a full time job, has no family, no woman, no plans, no future, and nothing to show for his 47 years of obsessing over complete bullshit that nobody cares about:

KAL K. KORFF IS A COMPLETELY USELESS RETARD! Dahhhhh!! Fucking ignorant god damn fraud. Thanks for the instant hangover remedy in laughter, KIAI!!

Anonymous said...

Dumbass Kal. Where is your brain?
Your latest website video:
'This video has been removed due to terms of use violation'.
You just can't copy other people's stuff like that, even though you've been doing it all your life.

Anonymous said...

One question for Kal, for which he has no answer:
If you're so famous, why aren't you rich?

Can't afford a video camera. (How do you make a DVD with Michael Horn without one?).
Can't afford to cook dinners for anyone anymore.
Doesn't own a house, or a car, or even a bicycle.
Can't afford to pay Cables & Simms for the items he swindled.
His momma must be real proud of him!


Anonymous said...

Don't forget the criminal brother.

Squonkamatic said...

Was just thinking about this shocking revelation of how stupid Kal K. Korff must really be. He didn't just misspell the name ("Dier Straits" or "Diar Straits", or even just "Dire Straights", all of which would just be typos, as someone already pointed out: he gets them BOTH wrong: "Dyer Straights"), what he made was a basic syntax and comprehension error. Even being dyslexic wouldn't explain his confusion of the word DIRE with DYER, a word that outside of a Led Zeppelin song (which even uses an apostrophe -- D'yer Maker is the correct given spelling) does not exist in the English language. Add to that the further oversight of having the misspelled name RIGHT ABOVE the correct name on his web posting and you are talking about a serious comprehension problem that cannot even be explained away by joke spelling games.

Kal K. Korff has no idea how to spell the words Dire Straits, which is odd since it's a fairly common expression referring to less than favorable circumstances -- "Our economic situation has come under dire straits since September 2008" would be an example of the phrase used in a complete sentence. Dire Straits is also the proper name of Mark Knopfler's guitar band which was formed in 1977 and had an immediate hit on their first album with "Sultans of Swing". The track that dumbass Kal K. Korff chose to link -- "Money For Nothing" from their 1985 album "Brothers In Arms" is only one of the most well-known songs from the MTV boom years of the mid 80s when it was in HEAVY saturated rotation both as a music video and pop & AOR radio staple. It was an impossible song to miss and the name of the band has never changed since 1977, let alone the way they spell it.

The conclusion is that for all of his worthless, pathetic life, Kal K. Korff has never seen the expression "dire straits" written out before, OR that his brain synapses are so malformed and unable to process basic information that he has been unable to memorize the spelling, and there is no evidence that Kal K. Korff speaks any other language than English.

Add to that the fact that Kal K. Korff is apparently a fan of Dire Straits but has either never seen how the band spelled their name or has been unable to reproduce that spelling EVEN WHEN CONFRONTED WITH THE CORRECT SPELLING ON THE VIDEO HE WAS LINKING. His comprehension skills are so low that he assigned the common spelling of the word "straight" to this two word conundrum even though the expression "dire straights" is an incorrect useage of the words.

So 47 year old Kal K. Korff, supposedly armed with an OMNI magazine test IQ score of 219 (and an alleged bouncing baby boy who also has been tested for IQ and found to be at genius level) does not understand the correct use of the words that suggested the name of the band to Knopfler thirty two years ago. He even invented a new word with "dyer" to accommodate his inability to comprehend this basic information ... AND POSTED IT ON HIS WILDLY POPULAR WEBSITE FOR THE ENTIRE WORLD TO SEE.

The level of failure at play here really does boggle the mind. The inability to comprehend the name of the band when confronted with the correct spelling, a lack of familiarity with the phrase that suggested the name of the band, the dunderheaded use of a synonym spelling that isn't actually a word, and then the posting of all this on his web pages, which was in place at least long enough for our kind host here to make a screencap picture of it.

To put it in words as simply as possible, there is no way that Kal K. Korff has anywhere near a 200+ IQ when making basic, simple, retarded mistakes like these. It reflects a grave lack of awareness of his surroundings, an inability to process and store information for retrieval at later times, and a blatant disregard for those cultural forms that he finds appealing to the extent that he doesn't even know how to spell them.

It also proves once and for all that Kal K. Korff was telling a LIE when he wrote up his bio sheet stating that he was armed with an IQ of 219. Kal K. Korff is a liar, and he is also a totally retarded idiot. Kal K. Korff is mentally inferior. This helps to explain his conflicts with intellectually superior individuals like Kevin Randle, Paul Kimball, Stanton Friedman, David Biedney, and Royce Meyers III -- none of whom have ever made a post to their web domains with typographical, syntax and comprehension errors that this incident typifies.

This blog has served it's purpose grandly in this situation. Normally I'd say keep up the good work, but frankly all we have to do is just sit back and let Kal K. Korff just be Kal K. Korff, and the mistakes, errors, lies and inferiority flow.

Anonymous said...

The word "dyer" does exist:

It's also not an uncommon English surname.

Just thought I'd point that out.

Anonymous said...

You revolt me, Korff. Lie after lie after lie.

"...a counter-terrorism raid in Germany which netted some al-Qaeda connected suspects..."?

"Nanotechnology ... is currently being deployed in Pakistan right now and Afghanistan, under my initiatives and in operations that I command."??!!!

With such claims, you spit on the deeds and graves of real heroes. You are a disgrace to your country and to humanity.

Why don't you shut your lying, braying trap?

Squonkamatic said...

The word "dyer" does exist:

It's also not an uncommon English surname.

Ehh well, whatever, my bad.

Dave said...

How dare you make a mistake or voice your opinion! Do you not know that Kal will sue and expose you before the world media? LOL!!

Kal is an absolute disgrace to the brave men and women who have lost their lives to terrorism. Everyone here knows that Kal has NEVER participated in any terrorism round up outside of playing with some military toys designed for kids.

Kal can dream on about it all he wants to but anyone who has even a glimmer of knowledge about Kal knows the one simple truth Kal will never face: Kal K. Korff is a spineless coward who would shit and piss right in his pants if he were ever to come face to face to with a terrorist in a combat situation.

Kal doesn't have the integrity or courage to do something of that magnitude. For Pete's sake, Kal can't even face this Milos Bartu guy and settle what appears to be a very simple matter. Instead, Kal has to post a video where he throws rocks at Milos from far, far, far away.

Go cry to your mommy now, Kal. Go on and be a good little boy now, Kal.

Turn around, lower your head, stoop your shoulders and drag your feet as you walk away crying like you always have. UFO nuts are easy targets and it gives Kal a sense of power to call people out from thousands of miles away.

Kal K. Korff is a chicken shit.

Squonkamatic said...

"After finishing a counter-terrorism raid in Germany which netted some al-Qaeda connected suspects, Colonel Korff just recently returned from Oregon where he went undercover, first by shaving his head completely bald, and then meeting with various lawyers, Federal officials, and key members of the media".

Didn't Kal K. Korff have his head shaved in Prague with Avimi (or Avim for short) recording the event for the Kal's Korner Online crap? Did he shave his head before or after supposedly returning to Oregon?

Daniella I think your questions are a bit too complex for someone of Kal K. Korff's limited and inferior intellectual capacity to answer with just one or two words, like yes or no. Kal K. Korff is far too nuanced for that which is why he identified your straightforward questions as playing a game. I would also like to know how you can sell video footage of something that never happened to somebody who doesn't even exist.

Anonymous said...

From Kal's website:

[A caption to a video clip lifted from YouTube] "Here is Nightwish performing their hit, Walking In The Air, live, as only they can. This is one of the most beautiful ones that they have written."

And immediately above this, he posts a caption to another YouTube video of the same group performing the same song:

"Nightwish, from Finland, is an awesome group — period. Even if you are not a fan of Gothic Metal, and we are, they have music for everyone. They compose their own songs, perform them, and of course have incredible vocals. We hope you enjoy this different performance of their hit, Walking In The Air."


kult of kal said...

Even as Kal tries to simply generate hits on his own site by posting music videos, he fails.

Is there anything...ANYTHING that idiot can do correctly?

And you know if you were to collar Kal on this, he would rebuff any attempt to correct him. Kal's words would be something like "Yes, they WROTE the song as they sang it - writing INCLUDES who, how, and what instruments!!"

Kal - you are such a tool.

Don Ecker said...

Rear Admiral ZORGROT's Press Conference sez it ALL!

And ... it's short! FYI

Don Ecker

Anonymous said...

According to Rob McConnell, Kal will no longer be featured each week on the xzone radio show, but henceforth will be on only every OTHER week.
I think Kal's little world of 'fame' is just about to end.


kult of kal said...

A fair question-
Did Rob McConnell cut Kal's time in half?
Or has Kal's stack of quarters for the phone booth fallen by half?

Feeling that Rob speaks out of both sides of his mouth, I am not convinced that Rob took the decision to cut Kal's time.

Anonymous said...

What does Kal really do on the X-Zone other than babble the same shit week after week?

And where is the complaint against Royce Meyers? What ever ahppened to that? Kal was on his little website railing about how multiple complaints were getting filed and that Royce was going to get "nailed" and was guilty and all the rest of it?

What happened, Kal? Things not work out as planned as usual? One of two events occurred. 1) Kal never filed the complaint and announced it as a juvenile scare tactic and a way to try to damage Royce. Seriously, anyone reading that who was not aware of the idiocy of Kal could easily buy into it and thus Royce would be damaged. I hope someone sues Kal's ass.

2) Kal actually filed some sort of complaint and it was about as credible as Kal and the person receiving the complaint laughed it all the way to the trash can.

Kal outrightly accuses Royce of being a thief and criminal. there is no reading it any other way. Royce has legitimate grounds from this and many of the other things Kal has written about him to sue the living shit out of Kal. Royce, Paul Kimball, David Biedny and Kevin Randle should all get together and file a class action against Kal. Kal likely has nothing of value to sue for but they should do it out of principle.

Anonymous said...

Whatever happened to this BIG story Kal?

Anonymous said...

Oh Lord, Anonymous,
You wouldn't by any chance happen to have a copy of the issue in which Colonel KalIsrael pays tribute to John Lennon (on the anniversary of his death)? And even better - the follow up issue a few days later wherein the crackpot answers an email from a "kritic" (me) laughing at the syntax and general nut-job material in said tribute?

Anonymous said...

Wait...that article is posted on !!!

Squonkamatic said...

If I recall correctly, Royce checked in here over the fall/winter and let it be known that his superiors had been briefed in full about some banana nut fudge cookie in Prague trying to ruin his name over some petty, meaningless squabble that these superiors found downright amusing. He also made it clear that he didn't give a flying shit what Kal K. Korff did, which probably set the moron off even harder.

There's no "formal complaint" -- whatever that means -- just like there's no KPMG audit, no 500 book contract, no nanobots, no $25,000,000 budget, no tech officer position with Sadlacek, no exclusive deal with MacZone, no Bigfoot movie re-creation, no Warrent Officer or Leftenant HotPants, no Super Duper Secret Special Super Services, no SAPSTOE on the Go, no PhD candidacy, no bouncing baby son with a genius IQ, no reality TV show, no WMD proof that embarrasses the CIA, no undercover ops in Oregon jails, no OJ Simpson testimony, no Roswell debates or slapping the cuffs on UFO frauds, no wife, no English classes, no lectures to Israelis or interviews with the media, no Larry King series, no documentaries or professionally produced broadcasts. So it's not surprising to hear that his X-Zone time has been cut back -- what does he have to justify the international phone toll costs?

Anonymous said...

Someone posting here supposedly got an email from Royce and quoted from it. Far as I know Royce could give two shits or less about Kal.

Here is a link to all the moron's past articles I could find:

It really is all amateur writing on the part of Kal who clearly has no real background in teaching or writing.

Anonymous said...

Regarding Kal' BIG story on the human bones found in the Breitewinner cave in Bavaria, that's old news, 1976 to be exact.
Those are NOT bones of Jews or allied POWs from Stalag 383.
Just Google 'Stalag 383' and get the real story(s).
Another case of Kal seeking glory from something he had no part in.
Standard modus operandi for Kal.


Anonymous said...

If anyone wants to read some real garbage, go to

In the search box (Hledej), type in: kal korff.


Anonymous said...

Get this crazy shit.....

"It was a dark and stormy night, literally, in the woods of Oregon in the mountains of the Pacific Northwest. Kurtis Korff, age 39, was in a car which was being driven by several men.

He had hitched a ride with them, so-called "thumbing it," because he did not own a car of his own. Ironically, in a few moments, he would get shot by police in this car he was merely a passenger in, who didn’t even know who he was."

So, Kal, how do you have a car "driven by several men"? And here we have Kal caught in a lie again.

"He had hitched a ride with them, so-called "thumbing it," because he did not own a car of his own."

Kal admits in one of his videos that his brother was with his friends in the car when this happened! Kal can;t even keep his own lies straight! The fat bastard gets caught again!!

Just admit it, Kal. Your brother is a piece of trash felon out doing something he should have not been doing and since he tried to mow down a cop with a car and is paying the price you are mad about it and won;t admit the truth!!

Anonymous said...

Now think of this. We have more or less determined that if Kal had any real followers or admirers he lost them long ago when he started this personal attack business. People are just not interested in some guy "exposing" another guy who believes in flying saucers, just not much sizzle there for media attention. Now, Kal maintains a website and Youtube channel with all of his delusions and rantings, all the while thinking there is this big John Q. Public audience hanging on his every word. The reality is that we few disdainful critics ARE HIS ONLY AUDIENCE! He does all of this for us! Nobody else is listening or even cares. Think of it, all of this sub-par(but still to the best of Kal's ability) effort producing all this stuff and we're the only ones who watch it! We who number in the dozens have our own private reality show! Amazing!

Brad Hudson said...

Believe me, come April Kal will have more attention than he knows what to do with.

Unfortunately for Kal, it's going to create legions of new "korffers" such as ourselves...

You'd think a super-secret agent would notice a camera crew behind...


Anonymous said...

I hope that Kal Korff documentary is released on April 1st...the irony and the justice would be insurmountable.

Anonymous said...

From Kals site:

"Here is an incredible video you have to watch to really appreciate."

Fabulous. You couldn't make it up...

I.Am.Kult.Of.Kal said...

I had to search through his carnage of a website to find the line "Here is an incredible video you have to watch to really appreciate"

He's talking about the Simpsons tv show. And he's got this after the nearly 20 mini-episodes of Hilter versus Stalin, multiple music videos and Three Stooges episodes... Kal - oh, yes, I have to watch it to appreciate it. Otherwise, I just wouldn't believe it!

Squonkamatic said...

That reminds me of a favorite quote which I found reproduced on a Zoominfo reference page for Kal K. Korff:

""The terrorist group Hamas is once again running a Internet-based Web site," said Kal Korff, the President and CEO of who is also a counter terrorism analyst and specialist."

Uhh, are there other forms of websites that do NOT use the internet?

Anonymous said...

While it's generally impossible to appreciate a video without watching it, I think I'll make an exception in this case. I think I already have a fair idea of the content.

Anonymous said...

Intranet? But I don't think a terrorist group would get much attention from a website only their members could view.

Kal isn't very bright, is he? I'm just waiting for Kal to say, "The terrorist use terror tactics." LMAO

And did anyone notice in the now infamous "Kal-Israel" babble fest video that Kal himself claims to be related to a terrorist that got him to convert to being a Jew, but Kal also says that terrorists cannot be tolerated.

Kal might want to pay attention to what he says, but then again the guy probably has problems chewing gum and sitting.

Anonymous said...

Oh no, not an Internet-based Web site! Those are the worst kind!!! D:

Anonymous said...

LOL Nanobot components! In a small vial! Thousands of them! And they are each numbered!

Let's all just face the facts, folks: This guy is completely fucking insane. What's up with sitting around the house in a cowboy hat too? And look at when the video was posted: May 11, 2008. "Soon we will be contacting (Royce Meyers') superiors." All Royce would have to do is show them this video and whatever "formal complaints" show up in the mail would be headed straight for the trash can.

You seriously have to wonder how this guy has managed to function in the world as long as he has after seeing stuff like this. No wonder he can't hold down a full-time job for very long. He's either completely insane or a complete pathological liar. The thing is that it looks like he actually believes that he does have nanobots in that little jar.

What are they, Rob McConnell? You've supposedly seen them, why not tell us what you saw? We thought you were having them analyzed by some sort of expert -- what did this person say they were? Or was it so embarrassing to realize you'd been had by some maniac kook freak idiot in a cowboy had that you swore to never mention it ever again?

Squonkamatic said...

Is it just me or is Kal K. Korff wearing his hat backwards in that video? I like the middle section where he really picks up steam & babbles incoherently about Colonel Kevin Randle while bits of foam fleck off his lips at the camera. What a frightening little tirade! He also manages to work most of his usual talking points into it at one time or another: Royce Meyers III, Kevin Randle, David Biedney, Don Ecker, the UFO Hall of Fame, newspaper clippings, Roswell, UFO frauds, consumer fraud, "internet-based web sites", Israel, Hebrew, Kurtis K. Korff, Oregon law enforcement, libel & slander lawsuit threats (though he sort of loses focus at that point), nanobots, terrorism, the Super Duper Special Secret Super Special Services, X-Zone & Rob McConnell, exaggerated patriotism (though it's hard to tell exactly which great country he is referring to when flanked by US & Israeli flags), his weasely little Roswell book, and all of it "produced by Czech Author, Broadcaster, Investigative Journalist and Supermodel, Miss Martina Týčová."

There's a really big laugh when he refers to the book finally publishing the Hebrew name of the Super Duper Special Secret Super Special Services, as if that's any validation of anything even if this so-called book ever was actually published. I can envision this video ending up as part of some clinical psychologist's documentary on psychopathology. You can almost hear the professor's overheated brain buzzing like a malfunctioning transistor radio.

I.Am.Kult.Of.Kal said...

From the very end of the video:

"So, I remind people that nobody can just pull nanobot components out of one's butt; it is not possible.
But if one is legitimate and telling the truth, it is possible. And I was telling you the truth all alooooong!"

Okay, read that a couple times and ask yourself -- what the f is Kal trying to say?

Either he figuratively means only honest people can obtain nanobots. Or, heavens forbid, Kal is literally implying some perverse causality, ala Pinocchio, where one's anus *greatly* shrinks from lying. ??

In either case, wow.

Brit_in_Prague said...

Martina Pičová.

{Beavis and Butthead snigger.]

Czech-speakers will get that one.

Oh wait - KalIsrael doesn't speak Czech, despite having lived in Prague for 9 years and despite being blessed (he claims)with an effortless facility for languages that allowed him to pick up up seven foreign tongues in highschool.

Pity - it's the sort of infantile play on words in which he specializes.

Anonymous said...


Quoting Kal -
"...nobody can just pull nanobot components out of one's butt; it is not possible.
But if one is ...telling the truth, it is possible. And I was telling the truth."

In other words - (the logical conclusion, in plain English):

'I can pull nanobot components out of my butt, since I was telling the truth!'


I.Am.Kult.Of.Kal said...

LOL!! Digger - you nailed it.

Nice one, buddy.

Squonkamatic said...

There's not even any reason to bring up issues like independent verification with this one. Kal K. Korff is lying when he says he has made nanobots. I like the idea of how they are all numbered with a serial number. Whatever you say, professor, you sniveling little lying brat. It's like watching a Show & Tell from Hell, with some snotty, bratty little 12 year old boy snarling incoherently about one of the more popular kids from the class who gets more attention than he does. Instead of producing exceptional work to distinguish himself, Kal K. Korff engages in a ridiculous jealousy based personality conflict and then outright lies about having made some accomplishment that is deliberately designed to not be verified.

Which to me means that it didn't happen. The nanobots don't exist. He's not really a colonel in some paramilitary organization. His book is plagiaristic, poorly written, and has been out-sold by Kevin Randle's books -- that's books as in plural, as in he's written more than just one of them that copied other people's work. Kal K. Korff is a textbook example of an inferiority complex at work which makes sense since as the blog post that is at the heart of this discussion here he has proven that he himself is mentally inferior.

Kal K. Korff is not very intelligent, everything he does is riddled with mistakes, inaccuracies and outright fabrications. Instead of distinguishing himself he tells lies, then accuses other people of lying almost as a way to try and level the playing field in his favor. Instead of elevating himself he looks to bring everybody else down to his level, crawling around in the muck like some sort of degenerate worm. And according to what we see in that frightening little video he is also mentally unstable, prone to irrationality, and has a difficult time distinguishing reality from his fucked up, demented little fantasies of being some sort of great man. He doesn't even know which end of his retarded cowboy hat is the front, he's such a fucking useless moron.

Don Ecker said...

This information will come in two parts. While looking for some information for my blog, I came across the following and thought this would be the perfect venue to showcase it. I broke it down so as to not overload you all.
Don Ecker

From: "Paul Foraker"
Reply-To: HyperCard at yahoogroups
To: HyperCard at yahoogroups
Subject: Re: [HC] Re: Hypercard Help Needed
Date: Sun, 19 Aug 2007 15:15:22 -0700

Korff does not appear in the About Box of HyperCard because he was on the team at Claris for a month or less, his expertise turning out to be not quite as represented. Apparently, he subsequently survived the "fatal brain tumor" and is now a UFO expert.

Kalvin lists on his background this work he supposedly did at Claris and does this to lend credibility and prestige to himself. After listening to Kalvin drone on about honesty and credibility, and how those he attacks are propagandists and dishonest, Kalvin is plainly a hypocrite in this arena as he engages in the EXACT same behavior he condones!

Kalvin boasts of his alleged computer expertise by exploiting his past employment through manipulating his accomplishments, or lack thereof, at Claris Corporation and Apple Computers. This is at best disingenuous, at worst it is FRAUD. Did Kalvin make these distorted claims to get his job at The Prague Post when he was writing that horrible IT column? Has Kalvin used his FALSE claims of being an engineer at Apple Computers and his EXAGGERATION of his role at Claris Corporation to obtain other benefits?

Kalvin, stop pointing your self righteous finger at everyone else and start taking some personal responsibility for once for your apparent FALSE and MISLEADING claims. If anyone is committing CONSUMER FRAUD, it is Kalvin Korff. How can Kalvin claim to want to change the world if he can't even maintain some ethical standards? Kalvin is part of the problem and most certainly not part of the solution.


So, what did ever happen to this fatal brain tumor Kalvin supposedly had? Do we have to ask Kalvin's mommy about this?

I sent an email to Lawrence Livermore National Laboratories asking about Kalvin Korff's supposed job title he has listed on many of his resumes and biographies, which are in his books and available to the public in a number of forms. Specifically, Kalvin states in a bio, "A passionate and driven researcher, Korff has worked for companies such as Atari, Xerox, Apple Computer, Claris, The Boeing Company, and was a security-cleared Senior Systems Analyst, Level III, at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory during the original U.S. Government-funded Strategic Defense Initiative or "Star Wars" program."

Is it REALLY true? Not so according to Lawrence Livermore National Laboratories when I asked them if that specific job title has ever existed. This is the email I was sent directly from Lawrence Livermore National Laboratories.

Date: Wed, 25 Jun 2008 12:33:28 -0700
Subject: RE: Inquiry

All I can tell you is the job title as you put it does not exist within the Lab's job classifications.

Kalvin has made the claim of having been employed at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratories. It is now up to Kalvin to provide credible and verifiable evidence he was employed in the position he says. Kalvin, don't treat us to yet another boring and painful self filmed piece of trash where you show a piece of paper and claim it to be absolute proof. Kalvin claims to be a researcher and investigator so surely he is up to the task of providing undeniable proof of his claim. From what I have been provided by Lawrence Livermore National Laboratories to this point, I would have to say that Kalvin is not being truthful.

Dear Royce,
To answer your questions earlier, I am happy to.
First, I got my subway, so I am enjoying it...and being European, I picked up a nice fresh Czech beer in a mug with a nice foam head, and walked it back to my office where I am now enjoying both. And it's great because over here, this simple act breaks no laws. :-)
The beer is also much better in the Czech Republic than most places.
So to make a long story short, (I will send you the first READ ME FIRST) chapter of my new terrorism book, it explains in further detail, but as you may have suspected by now I did not exactly lead a "normal" life.
This is a matter of public record, and In have the news clippings, but logically they are not all on the internet, but as you may recall I am the "A Bomb Kid" the young bozo who designed a nuclear warhead (a doomwday device) back when I was 14. I got into trouble, especially after I entered it into our school's science fair, and one of the judges there had a degree in physics and it scared him. So Dr. Severson was called and then some feds came in and there was an investigation into how this kid could do this. I told them the truth, that I had figured it out. For me, it was a great exercise in physics. Problem was, the design was similar to a then-classified weapon called the neutron bomb. I had no idea.
So there was this investigation, they first thought that there was a leak from someone at lawrence livermore national labs, where I lived near, and my best friend's father was a physicist there and he was from Yugoslavia. There was no leak, I never even met my best friend's father! :-) I was also at that time lecturing on UFOs and other subjects and although I started lecturing at 13, I did it right after I met Stanton Friedman, and they thought maybe Friedman "tutored" me and I told them NO, and finaly they realize I did it myself.
So I told them, "If I can figure this stuff out, so can bad guys" and you should have seen the look on their face. They went from being white boys, to sheet white. They also didn't know HOW to handle the ramifications of this. So my stuff was taken and classified and I was told to shut up. I then basically "cut a deal" or "understanding" -- I told them that I am onto things and studying many different things that it seems to me the govt doesn't want people to know.
So i developed even as a young boy a "reputation" for solving mysteries and since age 11 I realized three things about me: I devote my life to original research, finish research left incomplete by others, or look at existing issues, try to make original or valuable contributions, and then move on to the next problem to solve.
MANmade mysteries DRIVE ME NUTS and FORCE ME to try and solve or expose them. GENUINE mysteries, like trying to figure out how the universe works, are something else entirely. They are gifts from God and in my opinion evidence of His creation. I find it ironic that the Big Bang has proven a creation type origina, instead of the just the opposite. And now, because I was at the International Astronomical Union convention here in Prague and helped participate in the new definitions of a is neat to see science accept and surrender basically to intelligent design.
So, over the next years in high school, in 9th grade after I finished my A bomb work, I spent the summer at NASA on the Viking project to land on Mars and first met Dr. Richard Haines and Dr. Andrew Grotowski there, and in 9th grade i am at JFK high school. So one day my teacher wants us to do a book report on Bless the Beasts and Children. And I told Mr. Thomas, I am sick and tired of having to read and report on the same books. Let's make a "deal" -- I will read eight books for every ONE you give in the class, and I will write reports on them. Since I had already read every book for that year, I hate wasting time and he accepted.
So one day a book on JFK comes out and I read it and I asked my teachers about it and each one gave me a different explanation how JFK was killed. That bothered me. So I ended up coauthoring a 216 page report on the murder that got the attention of the media. It also upset members of the House Assassinations Committee who was reinvestigating the murder, and I did not know this! So after the article comes out, and we have a photo of a man on the grassy knoll who should NOT be there according to the data, a few days after this story made the papers, the intercom goes off in my school. Back then, when they called your name, you were suspended. That was the POINT of them calling your name out loud to "set an example",... so I go down to the Principal's office, ask what the problem is (again I am only a freshman in high school) and I am told there is a phone call for you.
So I pick up the phone, and it is this guy from the HAC in Wash DC and he is just LIVID. He wants to know how I can "get away" with this and he demands my data and files and says if I don't send them in he will subpoena them! First time I learned what a subpoena was! So I sent the stuff in, weeksm go by, no answer, I bug them, no answer, threaten to tell the media, THEN they send my stuff back.
They said my conclusions were wrong in this photo, yet they later concluded THE SAME THING! This upset me. Then I go to telephone the scientist who spoke to me on the phone. Turns out they NEVER heard of him. So now I am pissed. This is America. They are NOT supposed to do this to people. So I became "obsessed" with finding out why the cover up and how and all that. I eventually solved JFK's murder, and while doing so ran into all kinds of government types. By the time I was on Larry King getting kudos for it, I had already worked at Lawrence Livermore Labs on the Star Wars project, etc., so let me give you a typical example of my "understanding" with the govt.
Right after I started working fulltime atb LLNL, the San Jose Mercury News calls me and says, "Kal, we haven't run a story on you in some time, what are you doing now?" The last time they ran a story was when I agreed to be a bachelor in an auction for charity, because my presence there would increase attendance, I was told. So after being in this bachelor auction where I am in this room full of literally hundreds of chicks dressed to the nines, I got so intimated that I came up to a female friend of mine and said, "I don't care how much it costs me, buy me, OUT BID everyone else!" So she did and I gave my money to charity and as far as the media knows I have this big date. So I tell the SJMN that I started working at LLNL and next thing I know it is a huge full page color story about a UFO and computer expert working on Star Wars. I was "famous" also now in computing fields because I had worked at Apple Computer on a project called HyperCard, which was the modern ancestor to the internet browser! Apple actually OWNS THE PATENT for clickable hypertext, which makes the web work! Apple does not enforce the patent. They COULD and each time a person clicked, they would have to pay Apple! Seriously! This is if they created a web page that used hypertext, they have the patent!
So I was the engineer at Apple who did this. No shit. But in my design, clickable text was not underlined, it had a ZIG ZAG shaped line under it so that it would never be "confused" with underlined text! So I laugh today that the Internet is "so smart" that it uses underlined text for links, so that if you use underlined text, you will confuse people! So they write this big article about how I will take hypertext and this new thing called multimedia "big time" into the US govt and Star Wars and the article runs and later that day I get a phone call to immediately come down to the engineering director;s office.
-See Next Part-

Don Ecker said...

Part Two

When I walked in there, the first thing I notice is the article about me on the wall sitting behind him. I remember thinking to myself, "Oh shit!"
So he "talks" to me and he says "Kal, as long as you work here you will NOT talk to the media unless you lcear it first." So I agreed and understood, it is just that they KNEW in advance I have been in the media since I was 14 and their only worry was NOT national security (they knew I would never tell secrets) but it was UFOS!! No shit, Royce!
They said we cannot afford this subject attached to our unit. I was also aware of Robert Lazar, who worked at KMI, and since I was also bitched out aby KMI as well, this is how I know LAZAR IS FULL OF SHIT. I worked in some of those same circles, he is lying outright!
So by the time 1979 rolls around, I am getting ready to leave high school finally and Khomeini takes over Iran, and Russia invades Afghanistan, and I am invited to the World Affairs Council meeting over the event and I just lay waste to the Russian delegation visiting there (it is in the first chapter I am sending) and I got secretly involved in fighting terrorism at that point and also fighting against Communism.
As you may recall, I went undercover to Switzerland to go get Meier... what shrewd analysts noted was that the "timing" of my Meier visit was right when Russia collapsed. Well, I was there in eastern Europe to try and hel facilitate that! :-) So for the FIRST TIME EVER the book shows me in East Germany holding Russian "souveniers" and celebrating the fall of the USSR. We used MACINTOSH COMPUTERS to sneak out info from the Russian White House where Yeltsin was held in, stuck, while the KGB was busy "jamming the computers" which were PCs, so their techniques didn;t work!
In the 1990s I was approached by an Egyptian who was married to one of the cousins of Haffez Assad in syria. They wanted to "do business" and spent lots of money on my white ass. But I noticed that each time they took me out to lunch, etc., the subject of Israel and nuclear weapons always came up. So I reported this to the FBI. We met secretly and I worked undercover to close down sources of Hamas funding.
On several occasions, after I sold the Syrians bogus plans for an a bomb, there were attempts on my life. THIS is THE REASON I LEFT CALIFIORNIA PERMANENTLY, RESETTLED IN WASHINGTON AND WORKED AT BOEING.
The killers got as far as to my front door and almost into my backyard. As I explain in the book, I got out just in time. But I will never forget the FEELING of NOT having ANY weapons to defend myself. What saved me was God's blessing.
Earlier, in another attempt to kill me, they got me on the ground, outside, in the dark, actually had the fucking machine gun pointed at my neck, I am on my knees, praying, I hear the trigger beging pulled, and the gun jams!! So I hear this swearing, and I get up and run as fast as I can. I called 911 and we LOST these killers ONLY BECAUSE the 911 operator INSISTED I give her my name and all info first. I remember yeling hysterically at her, get officers over here now, I can still see their car, blah blah blah, but instead she is ARGUING with me over her position!
So they got away, lived to come back another time, almost got into my house this additional time, and I almost got killed.
So I was then issued a 357 magnum by the recommendation of the FBI and I got it and they never came back, but I moved anyway later "just in case".
So a SAPSTOE stands for Special Activities Planning Strategies Tactics Operations Execution. Basically, I OWN the WHOLE widget. There are literally only a handful of "my types" walking around.
Royce, I was put into special schools and classes as a kid. I have an IQ of 219 ( a matter of public record) and in my Freshman year in high school alone (I am not exaggerating) I took seven foreign languages! I just love and am fascinated by EVERYTHING I don't know. I am recognized worldwide for being a man "who knows how to get things done".... so as the 1990s drew to a close, it was OBVIOUS to me "the Islam thing" was coming. The signs were all there as I explain in 1979 and Iran was the catalyst and it is NOT a "coincidence" that Iran has come BACK to haunt us today. DUH!
So I was in Seattle when they shut it down for Millennium New year's Eve, and that was the LAST memory of my country before moving. I also write about this inthe new book. I relocated to Prague BECAUSE this is the best place to be and WHERE all the action takes place. You may remember that Muhammad Atta was in Prague. I was the individual that LEAKED the story to the press because we knew that the Miniter of Interior here for the Czech Republic, Stanislav Gross, was corrupt. Gross later resigned. He resigned because of corruption AFTER he became Prime Minister here.
The largest Czech daily newspaper, Mlada Fronta Dnes, EXPOSED HIM and this was the FIRST TIME the media here in this new budding democracy, caused the resignation of a government official. I work here at Mafra.... I assue you this was NOT a "coincidence" but instead was what my friends call a "Kalincidence"... the the reason that photo of me with the Jewish prostitute appears in the new book, is because the PRESENT Minister of Interior is also corrupt, and deported the Prince of Qatar so that he would not have to face charges in this country. There is a law here that if you commit a serious crime, and the crime is also a crime in the country you are from, that the Czech Republic can send you home as long as that country "promises" to prosecute.
So he gets sent to Qatar, and of course Qatar being Wahabbi Muslim it takes TWO women to testify in court to equal ONE man (gotta love Islam!) and he is also the Prince of Qatar, so naturally, NOTHING GETS DONE. AND THE CZEECHS KNEW THIS.
So about six weeks AFTER this happens, "amazingly and coincidentally" the Minister of Interior for the first time EVER takes a luxuty vacation in Qatar!
Sio when my book comes out later early next year, this "issue" will come to a head. Al-Jazeera will find out they have been penetrated by my spies, and again, this stuff is no holds barred. In Secret Wars EVERYONE gets a black eye because even America is surely NOT oh so "innocent" and the FACT is, until we adddress the causes of terror, the causes of hatred, WE CANNOT WIN THIS WAR.
So I am known as a man who gets things done and seems to be able to figure things out. I HATE "manmade mysteries" because they are contrived bullshit.
So now you can probably understand WHY some people think I am a spy or whatever. No, I have spied, but have always been my own man, my own person, a free operator on the right side of causes (I hope) for the right reasons (I equally hope).
I deal with everyone from Israel to Uncle Sam and just one more example, the reason Bush is even now using the term Islamofascism is because I have been forcing this issue as part of trying to force Condoleeza's "politically correct" Dept of State to REALLY TALK TO PEOPLE, ADDRESS THE CAUSES, ETC. or we will LOSE this war.
So in Secret Wars you see former CIA agent Scott Ritter and I in Prague. He has no idea until the book gets published, that I led him there to expose him. The image of us together talking is from a camera hidden in a flower pot. caught him lying about Saddam's weapons of mass destruction, etc. So it is no mercy on him, Michael Moore, Noam Chomsky (unleashed an operation that exposed him as well!) and this book has been my secret project for 4.5 years and this is why I have laid low UFODumb wise, but I assure you I am "coming back" shortly.
As Santilli and others will findout, I never REALLY left, I just quit wasting time on UFOUpdates and went below radar and pulled my column out of the public and skunked things, and now I am never returning to America as far as I know, and am working on nanobot assassins, which are in the book as well. Hezbollah and Hamas will find out that unless they get us first, they are toast.
Right now I am working Iran issues, but of course it is ENTIRELY the west's fault we are in this shituation. I will soon raiSe the issue publicly that the IAC should NEVER GIVE NUCLEAR TECHNOLOGY TO COUNTRIES THAT HAVE NO HUMAN RIGHTS...DUH!!!
So here is the SHORT version of some of my past. :-)
If you want to know anything else, just ask!
Your friend always,

Anonymous said...

Good fricken Jesus.

Anonymous said...

For what it's worth -
Friday the 13th (tomorrow, 3/13/09) is Kal's birthday.
He'll be 47 years old.


Anonymous said...

Man, we're in the light of Kalvin "Forrest Gump" K. Korff.

Fucking yeah!

Fuck Nut

Squonkamatic said...

Somebody really should go through that priceless tirade and make a catalog of every human accomplishment or recent global event that Kal K. Korff gives himself credit for. Leonardo da Vinci, Henry Kissinger, Dr. Carl Sagan and Thor Hyerdal all combined have nothing on Kal K. Korff as far as having lived full, productive lives and contributing to the human condition. A Nobel Prize should be swinging the professor's way if all of that is accurate.

I have zero digital/computer video editing skills so I propose a project to one of those of you who do: A fake video of Kal K. Korff addressing the U.N. General Assembly. All of his major topics should be touched on, with cutaway shots to the various world leaders listening in on the headphones and nodding gravely as the professor spins wildly out of control, jumping from topic to topic, wearing the cowboy hat & the leather jacket with the fake military insignia on it. The words "I am greately honored ... " or "It's with great honor ... " should be used repeatedly, and at one point he should take out a copy of Kevin Randle's book and start pounding on the podium with it.

I.Am.Kult.Of.Kal said...


I'll own the video task. It'll take me a week or two, but I'll gladly take that task.

Anyway, I've been thinking I had better put out another video soon, before Paul Kimball's/Redstar Film's movie comes out.
I think (& hoping) Paul's documentary next month will eclipse all efforts so far and will bring a whole new gang of "Kal's kritics".

Off to work....

I.Am.Kult.Of.Kal said...

I about forgot...

Happy Birthday, you dumb fuck.

Anonymous said...

I attended JFK High School the same years as Kal. They offered only 3 foreign languages during the years of my attendance...1976thru 1980...French, German and Spanish.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I'm sure he learned those other 4 on his own. While reading his 8 books a week (or whatever), he was reading another 4 on those languages as well.

Walter Mitty indeed:

Fuck Nut

Squonkamatic said...

Go for it! Maybe as he bashes the book onto the podium he chants "I will expose you, I will expose you, I will expose you" as opposed to "We will bury you". There should also be a couple of those nice loud amplified swallows as seen in his speeches to the make-believe Israeli delegation. I think in just those speeches and Q&A videos alone you should be able to glean an entire speech, naturally heralded with thundering applause and adulation. Make sure to pepper various celebrity world leaders into the audience, such as Hillary Clinton nodding that condescending nod she always nods, and maybe Bill smiling at some passing jest. Dick Cheney could look on in glowering disapproval, that kind of thing.

Anonymous said...

Did Kal actually study German in HS as one of his many languages?
This is an excerpted direct copy from an archive. The date is May 3, 1997:
I wouldn't dislike Korff for "doing a competent job" if he would
only do so. Unfortunately his silly Meier Book is full of LIES, his
"sources" (including the spiritist Hans Jacob, who believed
Meier is the Antichrist) are more than dubious and his "photo
analysis" obviously manipulated on his very own computer.
Korff LIED on his lectures and workshops, and when I con-
fronted him with one of his lies (he claimed he speaks German
fluently, I spoke to him in German, he didn't understand a
word) he claimed that I, as a German, am not able to speak my
language thanks to a "speaking inability" (fully invented by
Korff), although I SPOKE to Millions of Germans on TV and
over 30,000 on my lecture tour and everybody clearly understood
After I caught him "in the act" of lying, I classify him as a patho-
logical liar and lost all my respect for him.

Sound familiar??


Anonymous said...

How about this one? Same date:
......................................Subject: Re: Korff's New Book on Roswell

..>Korff's book is not nearly as long as his previous one on Silly Meier, and it
>does not include as many pictures. It only has 24. The photos speak for
>themselves, though, especially the alien autopsy stills and the photo of the

Korff does not have permission to publish photos from the alien autopsy. If
he has done so, he can expect to hear from Ray Santilli's lawyers.
Follow-up - Kal indeed did hear fron Santilli's lawyers. Reason? Copyright infringement.



Anonymous said...

>>> Follow-up - Kal indeed did hear fron Santilli's lawyers. Reason? Copyright infringement. <<<

Wouldn't it had been grand if Korff actaully told Santilli to fuck off and prove that he had real film or better yet, prove that his fake film was based on real film as Sansilly is now claiming.

A real shot for fame wasted by an idiot you couldn't see the oppertunity to solve something, staring at him, right in his fat ass, fuck of a face, face.

Fuck Nut

Brad Hudson said...

The archived note that Digger posted has me thinking that Kal has some serious mental health issues. When confronted on one of his lies (speaking German), Kal immediately goes off on an enormous cliff saying the native German can't speak HIS OWN LANGUAGE, thus preserving the "multiple language" myth.

I think the "speaking 7 languages" bit is one of the load bearing pillars holding up Kal's entire delusional life. Kal claims to speak 7 languages because he feels that really smart people speak multiple languages, so he needed to have that on his CV. Of course Kal went completely overboard in saying he was fluent in 7, since 3 or 4 languages seems to be the usual total for your average Nobel Prize winner. Kal couldn't let himself be grouped with the mere mortals that win the Nobel. Kal had to place himself above even them.

I really think Kal is delusional and thinks all this stuff is really happening. When he goes to the Embassy he truly believes that they are giving his spy information in secret code, that code being normal embassy talk.

It would be very interesting if I could get Kal to agree to a full psych evaluation.

I mentioned in my email to Kal that he reminds me of Ignatius Reilly from A Confederacy of Dunces, a Falstaffian character that we realize as we get deeper into his wold that his delusions are built up to insulate him from a world he feels is hostile to him.

Kal really seems to have created his own private world to ward off his feelings of abject failure (a promising child tuns out to be quite ordinary), and when living in the USA became too dangerous to his pyramid of delusions he moved abroad where it would be easier to keep up his facade. In other words, Kal can't let anyone disprove any of his core falsehoods as they hold up everything else and, should they be destroyed" will bring Kal's entire mental shelter down. I seriously believe that Kal, when confronted about his inability to speak German, came up with his statement that it was the speaker's fault because Kal must protect his core delusions. Saying the speaker had an inability to speak his own language was not intended for anyone else to take seriously. It was intended to quickly plug a hole in Kal's dam of delusions so Kal could continue to function.

Well, that's enough long and boring..

Brad Hudson

Anonymous said...

I wonder what Kalvin is up to now?

His lame ass site has been very quiet...

Anonymous said...

From 2007.

There's mush to ponder in this posting from a CZ newspaper:

>>> A Reality-TV Sneak Peek

Here’s another sneak peak at the new, upcoming reality-based TV series called Kal’s Korner, which will make its broadcast season debut on the Internet this January 28, 2007.

Teaching English

One of the cool things about this new show is that it is both in English and in Czech.

While there are certainly other languages involved such as Hebrew, German, French, Italian, Russian and even Arabic, the point here is that this is a multi-cultural show, where Americans are the exception, instead of the rule.

In other words, while English is certainly the lingua franca which unites everyone and people speak it in the new series, Kal Korff is the only American who appears regularly in the show.

English for Everyone

Because the new Kal’s Korner Web-based TV show is reality-TV, it contains valuable information and lessons we can all learn from.

Since the "best teacher" is often life and experience itself, documenting real events and showing people go through them and living them, is the best way to teach people.

What viewers will get to see is what really transpires or takes place, which is always best.

All Over Prague

The filming for Kal’s Korner takes place at countless locations throughout Prague and the Czech Republic. In addition, filming has also been done in France, Italy, Great Britain, Hungary, Slovakia, Monaco, Israel, Germany, Switzerland and the USA.

As with its cast, Kal’s Korner is international, just like life itself. <<<<

So many errors and now, as this series really didn't take shape in the way it is written here, it's all lies, udderly. Once again.

Fuck Nut

Anonymous said...

So, over the next years in high school, in 9th grade after I finished my A bomb work, I spent the summer at NASA on the Viking project to land on Mars ...

The names of every person who worked on the Viking landers were included on two microchips placed on each of the landers. Kal K. Korff's name does not appear on either chip, nor do the names of any other 13 year old children (Viking 1 was launched on August 20, 1975, and the second craft, Viking 2, was launched on September 9, 1975) no matter how precocious. His lie of claiming having participated in that monumental project of planetary exploration does an unforgivable discredit to those men & women who had devoted their careers to the undertaking.

Brit_in_Prague said...

"I wonder what Kalvin is up to now?

His lame ass site has been very quiet.."

--I wouldn't mind betting the Czech police have finally picked him up.

You are scum, "Colonel".

Brit_in_Prague said...

I have just had a job explaining to my wife why the first thing I do every morning is rush to the computer. She was also concerned that I have been checking several times a day. The poor old thing was worried that I was carrying on an affair.

Even when I showed her my "internet history" (she's not at all computer-savvy) and explained to her that all I was indulging in was a spot of harmless korffing, I still felt uncomfortable and guilty.

Why am I devoting so much attention to this loser, she wonders.

I also wonder. Kalvin is clearly mentally ill. I am not the kind of person who makes fun of mental illness, and I warrant that not many of my fellow Korffers are, either.

He first came to my attention when I began picking up the free newspaper in which "Kal's Korner" used to appear on my way to work here in Prague.

Along with many other expats and English-speaking Czechs, I bombarded the paper with complains, which were routinely and inexplicably ignored.

After 2 years, the paper closed, and its sister online publication shortly thereafter dispensed with Kalvin's services.

So why my continued, and I would say, unhealthy interest, given that I have no more than a passing interest in UFOs, Bigfoot or the "paranormal".

Squontomatic: I have found your posts to be consistently the most considered and intelligent of anything that is posted here.

Could you be so good as to find a little time sometime to explain to me why I am so obsessed with this buffoon?

Anonymous said...


I am still here, just moved house to a much bigger place. Kal has been quiet, maybe the cops finally got his ass. Ill ask my friends.

F1 Racer

Anonymous said...

Damn you, F1 Racer.

I suffer from the same ailment as Brit in Prague .. thanks to you!

It was you who dragged me back into the mental morasse that is "KalIsrael".

After Metropolitni expres folded and then gave him the flick, I assumed that was the end of the matter.

Then, I found myself - in search of a laugh - idly leafing through his car crash of a website one day and saw that he had "commenced operations" (or some such codswallop) against someone calling himself "f1racer".

A quick google search for "frracer" brought me to the user comments on his YouTube account (I hadn't even known there were user comments on YouTube) and - with apologies to Michael Corleone, "just when I thought I was out, he pulls me back in."

Which is how I come to be wasting my time on this moron at a quarter past three on a Sunday afternoon.

Please, ladies and gentlemen of the Prague constabulary, end my pain and throw this weasel behind bars.

Anonymous said...
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I.Am.Kult.Of.Kal said...

I hear you! For me, I wouldn't go so far as to call it an obsession, but I have the same problem.
I find myself visiting this blog 2-3 times a day. I can't visit his site more than once a week, if that. It's just too damn busy; takes too long to load.

As for Mrs. Kult, I keep it secret, visiting only at work or if she's gone to bed earlier. Prime reason why it takes me near forever to get any video work done.

If you need anyone to write you some 3rd party note to verify your story - you got me and the whole group here to back up your story!

-Kult of Kal

Anonymous said...

I see Kalvin is jumping on another bandwagon today.