It seems that Kal Korff is an IDIOT reader and Internet blog writer and extraordinary video producer Kult of Kal has dug up some information on Kal Korff and Kal's claim of having worked at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratories.
Just so Kal can't slither his way out on this here is what Kal's own biography straight from the X zone radio program has to say - "A passionate and driven researcher, Korff has worked for companies such as Atari, Xerox, Apple Computer, Claris, The Boeing Company, and was a security-cleared Senior Systems Analyst, Level III, at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory during the original U.S. Government-funded Strategic Defense Initiative or "Star Wars" program." And Kal on his Internet website stakes claim to the following "While at LLNL, Kal Korff had access to government information and projects. It was during this time in the late 1980s that Korff understood and saw firsthand that the so-called "Cosmic Watergate" (the so-called "UFO cover-up" because the U.S. Government has the remains of crashed saucers or their alien crew stashed away), essentially does NOT exist." Kal's big appearance on this Discovery program was a whopping sixteen seconds long!! Kal also claims he was an analyst at Boeing but considering what Kult of Kal has found and the fact that we are talking about Kal Korff here I have serious doubts about giving Kal any credibility where his self alleged "background" is concerned. What can you expect from Kal after all he is Kal Korff.
So what did Kult of Kal dig up on everyone's favorite moron?? Read all about it on Kult of Kal Internet blog. It explains why there is no official record of Kal ever working at LLNL and why the title Kal claimed to work there as does not and has never existed. Well it simply boils down to yes Kal did work at LLNL but did not work directly for LLNL as an employee or "analyst" as he boasts. No the sad truth here appears to be that Kal was little more than a computer maintenance person doing work through a contractor! So how does a lowly computer maintenance worker work on the Star Wars project and get access to top secret flying saucer files? They don't and this is one more excellent bit of information painting ever so clearer a picture of an idiot who wants to boast and huff and puff up his ego.
But to be fair about it all Kal only has to do one thing here and it is PROVE he did what he claimed to do at LLNL. Kal laid claim to it so it is up to him to prove his own claim as he demands of so many others. One more bit of KAL KORFF EXPOSED! I am quite sure that Paul Kimball's new Kal documentary has this all covered in it and the release month of April for the film is right around the corner.
53 comments:
Good show, KoK! I tried the more direct, front door approach and sent an email to the LLNL HR department.
Sad to say that, even though I do handle hiring for our firm I was told I needed Kal's written permission before they could release any info.
Needless to say I knew Kal would give me nothing, so I back-burnered the project
Nice job on the Hypercard sale, as well...
Oh, by the way, Kal has apparently updated "Konfessions" explaining his fresh video shortage.
Great work by Kult of Kal! Guess he can put 'korff-expert' on his resume.
About Korff's work at LLNL, his self-claimed expertise is as usual grocely exaggerated. Geesh Kal! Are you really that deluded thinking no-one would find out and call your bluff? Some SAPSTOE operation Colonel! The only thing you managed sofar is make a complete ass of yourself. If that was the intention from the start then congratulations are in order.
Hey there, KalIsrael
How does it feel to always fail?
It is amazing how deep and broad Kal's f*cked-up exaggerating goes.
We all understand why. Together we have revealed a father's hateful upbringing, the Napoleon complex ("little man syndrome"), the childhood fame (which has screwed up many an actor & actress, right?), a self-driven reputation for being an overachiever, some lasting family conflicts ...and hell knows what else.
Whenever I read Squonkamatic's thoughtful comments about Kal, I am reminded to feel pity for the boy, albeit a 47+ year old boy.
And, according to an early viewer, Paul's film, too, may urge us to feel pity.
But how does Kal manage to get our response beyond our pity? I feel pity for lots of people or groups in the world...take the thousands of kids who die daily from unclean water. But that doesn't elicit the effort from me like Kal does. Why not?
After nearly 1 year of the KIAI blog, and after 3 years since I first heard about Kal here in Prague, I am still dumbfounded by Kal's need to lie and boast yet cast stones at people just doing what they do.
The latest is his LLNL/Star Wars association.
Kal - you are a hypocrite.
A plain and simple hypocrite.
To quote you, "that's not ego talking, that's just a fact."
And I have to, for the record, give a direct quote from Kal regarding the Star Wars program at LLNL:
"As a former Senior Systems Analyst (Level III) at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory who worked onsite on the original "Stars Wars" program..."
This is found here:
http://zpravy.idnes.cz/why-czechs-need-radar-05k-/anglictina.asp?c=A070703_102124_studium_bar
Or a shorter address:
http://tinyurl.com/cyv55w
So Kal did some low level tech support for computers at LLNL and that instantly qualifies him as having worked directly on the Star Wars project? LOL This is classic Kal Korff expounding far beyond reality and what his actual role was. But he is Kal Korff so I don't expect anything less than this nonsense. It isn't a shock of any kind to find out the truth about all this. Hilarious to see Kal coming apart at the seams.
I do feel pity for Kal to an extent. Anyone with a heart would feel sorry for him. But every time he opens his mouth and starts talking hi usual bullshit my pity rapidly fades with each new lie and every threat of exposing people and going after them. It gets old hearing such rubbish from an adult.
Yeah, and click on that link above and (bearing in mind that this was supposed to be and ENGLISH-TEACHING column) he fouls up his grammar in the very first sentence:
"As a former Senior Systems Analyst (Level III) at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory who worked onsite on the original "Stars Wars" program under the first President George H.W. Bush, there's much to say about issue of anti-missile defense systems, especially with the subject being on the minds of so many Czechs."
The cretin. The moron.
Go to the bottom of this page and read Kal's bio
http://www.csicop.org/si/9707/roswell.html
Looks like the Skeptical Inquirer needs to look a bit more closely at its authors.
That's "I have much to say...", not "there's much to say..."
You really are a dickwad, Korff.
So ... if we are to believe Kal K. Korff when he says he had access to classified "government" information regarding SDI during his contract work at LLNL, it seems to me that Kal K. Korff may have taken advantage of his time spent "on-site" to BREECH security and access information that he wasn't cleared to view. Which strikes me as being highly illegal, unethical, and not something you'd want to brag about publicly while also claiming to be an intelligence agent for a foreign power.
Either that or he's lying when he says he was handling classified information on SDI. Which is it? Either way it's pretty obvious that the Israelis would have checked into Kal K. Korff's resume points and concluded that he was either a liar or a serious security risk.
I've solved the mystery of Kal's ludicrous website hits. Just go to http://siteanalytics.compete.com/ and enter a few website names vs. Kal's.
I entered ufowatchdog.com vs. kalkorff.com vs. criticalthinkers.org. I know the ufowatchdog.com website hasn't been updated in a few years and it _still_ kicks the shit out of kalkorff.com and criticalthinkers.org!
Kal only had 266 unique visitors in the month of February! This also proves that piece of junk Kal calls a book could never have been downloaded 70,000 times! Be sure to check out the site statistics. Wasn't call boasting about ufowatchcat.com getting more web traffic than ufowatchdog.com? Going to have to call bullshit on that one.
How many more times is Kal going to get caught before he comes clean?
That's great! Thanks for the link!
I looked at a bunch of sites and Korff's site is pretty much DOA.
Fuck you Kalvin. The stats don't lie. How's it feel to be "made public" Kalvin?
Can't wait until April's video gift the Kalvin.
Fuck Nut
The Korff Effect in action:
http://www.smh.com.au/world/czech-collapse-sends-shiver-through-europe-20090325-9ahb.html?page=-1
Probably two hundred and sixty-six suckers wondering why their Kal's Korner Mobile English isn't being updated after they shelled out good money for one of those custom X-Zone iPod/iPhone deals.
Just for fun, I'm trying to "Kal-ize" my own past jobs. Let's see...
When I was 16, I worked at a Dunkin Donuts sweeping floors and...overseeing the safe and efficient manufacturing of a multi-billion food industry.
When I was a 'rodman' (dude who held the land surveyor's prism pole) for an architectural engineering firm, I'm sure they were also working on buildings worth several millions of dollars. Hence, I provided the "legwork for the foundation" of millions of dollars of architectural contracts. (see what I did there?)
Oh, I have also babysat for little kids before. Or as I like to think of it, I ...babysat for little kids before.
fuckin' Korff.
I worked as a chief financial officer and director of operations for a Fortune 500 company> My position was critical to the company's mission and ongoing capitalization of assets. I was tasked with and successfully performed conducting employee supervision, case management, preparing progress reports, conducting inventory control and shrink management, finance, public relations, communications, internal memorandum, and computing technologies.
Let's break this down:
Fortune 500 company: McDonald's
employee supervision: shift manager
case management: Food delivery check forms. "1,000 Big Mac patties? Check!"
preparing progress reports: "Joe, here's your last check. You're fired! Now turn in your pants with no pockets and your Ronald McDonald pin!"
conducting inventory control: "Do we have enough Big Mac sandwiches ready for the lunch rush? I hope there are some left over for me!"
shrink management: "That tomato looks good, use it on that burger! What? No, it doesn't look brown and black to me!"
finance: "Your total is $4.75, would you like to Super Size that?" or "I can't account for 60-cents missing from this register! SHIT!"
public relations: "Here's your Happy Meal! Have a great day!"
communications: "I need those fries in 1 minute! Confirming those fries will be online in 1 minute?!!!!"
internal memorandum: "Dear Diary, I can't wait to get out of this hell hole fast food job and move to the Czech Republic! Just 1 more year of saving money and I can afford that former supermodel out of the catalog!! I will miss the free McNuggets from the trash bin when no one is around to watch."
computer technologies: "No, no, no. You have to use the touch screen first and then the McNuggets will come up as being ordered!"
Now that the Czech government has collapsed due to the no confidence vote, I'm sure Kal will jump right in and try to save the country, what with all his knowledge and expertise. Perhaps some high level meetings (on the roof of his apartment building?) with some lower party officials, or maybe just an impassioned speech in front of Martina's video camera that he then can put up on YouTube. That should alter the course of history!
Kal K. Korff has never made history, his style is to wait for it to happen and then take partial credit using parsed language, deliberately worded to hint any number of possible conclusions while providing for ironclad plausible deniability if confronted with irrefutable evidence that he could not possibly have had a thing to do with it.
From a medical journal:
"Stage III
The third and final stage is the worst stage. It generally occurs 2 to 30 years after infection. Syphillis has the capacity to invade the brain, (not an easy thing to do) and cause permanent brain damage. This is the stage where no symptoms appear to be seen.
Before doctors knew about the late stage of syphillis people were just locked up for insanity. Because of the manic behavior caused by the syphillis, these poor victims were oftentimes left alone, in psychiatric cells, to die a horrible death of never ending hallucinations and hearing tormenting voices in their heads. They were left to die a slow indescribable death complete with horrible nightmares and inner hallucinations as the Syphillis bacterium invaded and destroyed their brains.
No amount of treatment will reverse the damage done by Syphillis at this stage."
Could this be Kal's problem?
Poor guy!
While I'm happy to see new Korffers on this blog and there's much to read, among ourselves I have to ask...
Where's Kalvin?
I need my comedy fix!
Just came across the following, which I sent from my YouTube account to Kalvin's YouTube account just over a year ago.
Needless to say, I never got any reply:
Dear "Colonel",
Are you really a "SAPSTOE", as you have claimed?
Does the position of "SAPSTOE" actually exist?
Are you really a Colonel in the Special Secret Services?
Do the Special Secret Services even exist?
Did your family really fight against al-Husseini during WW II (as you have claimed on your website)? And what the hell is al-Husseini anyway?
Do you really take time off from your duties in Prague to go round up Al Quaeda operatives (as you have claimed on your website)?
Do you really have an advisory relationship with Cambridge University Press as you have claimed in your language column?
Have you really hired KPMG to undertake an "audit" of your rival, Kevin Randle (as you claim in an 8-month-old YouTube posting)? If so, when can we see the findings?
Is nanotechnology really being currently being deployed in Pakistan and Afghanistan, under your initiatives and in operations that you command (as you have claimed on your website)?
Have you really been chosen as Host and official spokesman for a series of upcoming spots on Missile Defense technologies and the proposed Missile Defense Systems, as you claimed on your website several months ago? If so, when will those spots be aired?
Did you really take seven foreign languages in high school (as you have claimed in your newspaper column)? If so, how is it that someone so adept at learning languages still can't even get his fucking hair cut here without the services of a translator, despite the fact that you have lived here for eight years?
Were you really the Prague Post's "Cheif [sic] Information Officer ( CIO) and Cheif [sic] Technical Officer" as you have claimed in Metropoltni expres and on your website? Or did you merely write an IT column for that newspaper for a very brief period before being fired?
When are you going to post footage of you at a "media event" posting off the final draft of your latest book to the publishers (as you promised on your website you would do)?
Were you really a key witness at the OJ Simpson trial? If so, why do the court records make no mention of your name?
Do you ever intend to post "10,000 English expressions" on your website, as you promised you would months and months ago?
When are you going to publish details of "your" "Body Human Project", as you promised you would months and months ago?
Are you a pathological liar?
Are you deluded?
Are you a fantasist?
Are you an illiterate buffoon, singularly unsuited to the task of writing an English teaching column?
Many thanks, you crackpot...
He's a SAPSTOE on the go!!
You are utter vermin, Korff.
I can't wait for Mr Kimball's movie. You've had it coming to you for a long, long time...
Who knew that "within hours" meant "over a week and no sign of anything"
Has everyone caught on yo Kal's latest catchphrase??
"As only he can/As only they can/As only she could"
It's literally the new "literally"!!!
Well, all quite on the KKK website front. And not uncoincidentally, all quite on the KIAI front.
Get the message Korff? You shut the f&^** up - so do we.
You start bullshitting and lying and braying and threatening and fantasizing ... then we start up again.
The message couldn't be clearer: close down your website, delete your YouTube content and generally maintain radio silence, and we'll leave you alone.
Simple.
Should be all "quiet", or course - not "quite".
I'm sure the Great Man spotted that immediately.
Quiet or not, I can't his crappy site to open for the last couple of days...?
Same here today. An April fool's prank? Or maybe the 'conficker' virus got to his site and closed it down.
And Kal is BACK with a vengeance!
It looks as if either Paul emailed him a gratuitous April Fool's letter or Kal is starting his plan to somehow lessen the impact of the upcoming movie.
And as far as Kal taking students to see Obama? WTF?? I have a buddy in the Secret Service. perhaps I'll send him a dossier so they can make sure Kal is no where near the President that or any day. Perhaps we can even get Kal taken into custody for a bit. My wouldn't that be fun.
Waiting patiently for Paul's film,
Brad Hudson
Dallas, Texas
Damn, my 1st video got korffed by Google! :)
I guess using the Superman theme wasn't a wise idea.
"And as far as Kal taking students to see Obama?"
---where did this come from? His website's still down, as far as I can see...
I got on last night, but right now there appears to be...trouble
"F1 Racer" Gets a Date with Czech Police - CONFIRMED! PDF Print E-mail
News - Latest News
Written by UFO WatchCat staff
Saturday, 24 January 2009 11:45
Kal Korff will be returning to Prague as early as next week, then leave again to continue working on the new Billy Meier joint DVD production. Korff is due in Prague to begin providing testimony under oath against Mr. "F1 Racer," who is the recipient of numerous complaints, including stalking charges, among other crimes.
According to UFO WatchCat sources, "F1 Racer" CONTINUES to send UNWANTED emails to Korff and make a point to stalk him, which are autoforwaded to investigators. "F1 Racer" was warned two MORE times within the past 24 hours to cease and desist, or face police actions.
"F1 Racer" has deliberately IGNORED this request, and has made it clear that he doesn't care what the police do.
We will soon see if the police "agree" with this person's rather "unique" view of themselves.
Milos Bartu - Mac Zone Defamation
Colonel Kal Korff will also appear briefly in Prague to begin testifying under oath against Mr. Milos Bartu, of MacZone. This should "worry" Mr. Bartu, but that's not our problem.
Bartu is GUILTY of publishing FALSE CLAIMS about Kal Korff, even after being told that Kal is NOT LIABLE nor responsible for any "issues" Bartu is now trying to cover his own ass over.
Bartu is also being reported to the Czech Tax Office shortly, where information is expected to be handed over to authorities concerning allegations of ILLEGAL activity and "playing games" with taxes.
Korff's last stops in Prague will concern having Bartu charged with attempted blackmail and extortion over false allegations, and then for deliberately trying to harm Korff's reputation by deliberately publishing false or incomplete information, with malicious intent.
"Bartu has NOT told the FULL TRUTH about what happened and did not happen. We will," promised Korff, "and Bartu can't stop us."
UFO WatchCat, who has personally witnessed Mr. Bartu distort facts, will be publishing ALL RELEVANT DOCUMENTS which are now being assembled against him.
Bartu sells Apple related computing products, and CANNOT compete with the prices that Korff offers Czechs. Kal Korff has "upset" the "Apple Monopoly" here (which is NOT even Apple!) by offering ALL Czechs Apple products at AMERICAN LEVEL PRICING, shipped DIRECTLY TO THEIR HOMES. Czechs only need pay the legal import tax. Czechs arrange shipping and handling, there is 100% transparency.
Kal Korff KNOWS that Apple products are DELIBERATELY OVERPRICED IN EUROPE, BECAUSE GREEDY BUSINESS OWNERS HAVE NOT PASSED ALONG THE FINANCIAL WEAKENING OF THE DOLLAR OVER THE YEARS. THIS CAUSES IRATE CONSUMERS TO "BLAME APPLE" — EVEN THOUGH IT IS NOT APPLE'S "FAULT."
Developing...
Oh, Kal ...where are you?
Reposted the first video "Kult of Kal".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CV4cJkkuGOs
I had to replace the Superman theme music with something else, lest Google & Warner Brothers unleash Kal's Special Secret Services on me for copyright infringement (b/c that would be consumer fraud)
Check the date on that post: January 24. Francis, have the cops beat down your door yet? You'd think that it would take them less than 2+ months to get around to arresting you...
No, today Kal is braying about going on the X-Zone to talk about him taking kids to see President Obama. Yes, Kal somehow thinks that he's a part of "this historical meeting" because he'll be in attendance. Hell, I'm having lunch with President Bush tomorrow but I'm not going on the radio about it.
Kal also has some bizarre post about the site going through a "security upgrade". I can only assume Kal has downloaded the latest JOOMLA patch that the hackers will have torn through before he even has time to install it.
Silly Kal....
You gotta love good old Rob!
Another example of Kalvin and his double standards in the face of less radio time if he called Rob himself, as well as most of his guests, out for their on-going con job on consumers:
http://www.xzone-
radio.com/angelvisit.htm
Please Kalvin save us from Rob "The Con-Man" McConnell!
Help us, Obie Kal Konobie!
Hey Rob Kon Konobie, where's that nanobot dust report?
Two, two, two losers in one.
I wonder how long it will take Rob to notice the prism on his desk....
>>> the prism on his desk.... <<<
Ha!!!!!!! the prism on his desk....
Ha!!!!!!!!!!!
Uh-oh, boys and girls, Kal's X-Zone appearance about the historic Presidential visit to Prague will now be over 2 shows!! My gosh!! I'm just stunned!
And Kal will be providing video for "sites that follow us" (I can only assume that means here).
Boy I'm certainly impressed! Kal will be in the audience for a public meeting! I guess Kal sure showed us!
Hey, Kal, want me to get closer to the President tomorrow? Just tell the Secret Service (that would be the real Secret Service, not the one you made up) that you have a security clearance from LLNL.
Wait, Kal, you've never mentioned your security clearance. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you never had one. They don't hand those out to people UNQUALIFIED FOR THE PROJECT.
But I guess the US Government figured a guy who barely made it out of high school was qualified to work on a high tech engineering project. Hell, you don't even have the computer skills to be an average web developer, much less the knowledge to work on orbital weapon platforms.
Jackass...
BWHAHAHAHA
Kal is so full of shit that im surprised he isnt followed around by a pack of dung beetles.
Not ONE peep from any police of any nation to me, not one. Nothing, zero, zilch.
However, I DID take it upon myself to email the Secret Service regarding Kal.
F1 Racer
I offered what I know about Kal to my buddy in the SS. He's not on Obama's overseas team (which he was for President Bush), but he said he'd pass along the info to those that might need it.
Kal may not get picked up for questioning but there will certainly be more than a few pairs of eyes on him if he's there.
I did get the following quote concerning Kal's "position" in "S3": "He's like every other 2 bit superspy who has read one novel too many. Firstly, there is no S3, and I'd know if there was and, secondly, if there was then an a commanding officer certainly wouldn't post any info on the fuckin' internet about it"
That's direct from a Secret Service officer. Feel free to use it..
I think we all need to contact our local Secret Service field offices to alert them to Kal's potential danger to President Obama.
Its our patriotic duty.
F1 Racer
Well, the President is in Prague. Doubtless he is ensconced in Kalvin's skanky one-room apartment, soberly discussing world affairs with the Great Man over a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken.
I've sent you an email about this Kalvin, but I'll re-state my points here.
You claim that you and some of your "students" will meet President Obama during his stay in Prague.
I want to see either a photo of a video recording this event.
Do not tell me that you have "sold" the video/photo to Martina, who may or may not choose to post it - according to her whim.
Do not tell me that no video/photos were allowed because of security concerns or some such bullshit.
Do not tell me that I can only see a photo/video upon payment of $500.
I just want to see the photo or the video.
If I or any other Joe Shmoe were to be introduced to the leader of the Free World, I'd make damn certain I had a momento of the occasion.
I am sick of your bullshit, "Colonel". You cannot back out of this one. Put up or shut up.
You loathesome toerag.
Just back from Prague Castle. Plenty of obelisk-like men in dark glasses, with wires appearing from behind their ears and suspicious bulges under the breast pockets of their jackets.
But no portly little man sporting a preposterous oversize white stetson.
It's like a year long train wreck, Squonk.
It's impossible to look away...
Although I think Paul's film may provide some finality. After that, Kal will be like the proverbial tree in the forest with no one there to hear...
Oh I get it now, "Colonel".
When you say you're going to take some students to meet President Obama, you don't actually mean a face-to-face, shake-hands, how-do-you-do, mind-if-I-take-a-quick-photo meeting. You just mean that you're going to get up at 5 am to ensure you have a decent spot in the crowd.
Nothing wrong with that - I did the same thing myself. Unlike you, I didn't have an "adjutant" to "arrange" it for me. Nor did I feel the need to brag about it on my very own website.
You sad, pathetic little man.
The Great Man has posted the text of President Obama's speech in Prague on Sunday.
(Thanks for that, "Colonel" - I don't know where I could have rooted that out if it hadn't been for you.)
Above the speech, "KalIsrael" has posted this:
"Note: The following is the written version of President Barack Obama's speech given on Prague on 5 April, 2009 at Prague Castle, in the Czech Republic. During this week, fact checking commentary will be inserted to keep people fully informed on the important issues President Obama spoke about during his warm welcome in Prague.
Stay tuned...
CriticalThinkers.org"
"Fact checking commentary". Dear, sweet Jesus...
...still hoping to bump into you one of these days in Prague, "Colonel".
Just you and me. Man to man. Down a dark and deserted alley.
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