Friday, May 15, 2009

A guide to the idiocy of Kal K. Korff

For those of you just now be joining in the laugh fest here I thought and it was suggested that a basic guide to the goofy world of that lame grease bag monkey
turd Kal K. Korff should be listed here for all to see.

In short Kal K. Korff is a washed up former writer who penned a few flying saucer
books and claims to have solved the assassination of JFK. During the late 1990s or early 2000s it looks like things in the United States were not going well for Kal so he packed his bags and made his way to Prague where he was shortly employed as a columist for a few free rag newspapers. Kal began by introducing himself as an english teacher that evolved into his utterly ridiculous claims of being a "captain" and later a "colonel" in something he calls the special secret services. Kal also boasts of being in the anti terrorist business but it looks like this all nonsense along with about 99.9% of Kal's other tall tales. Soon after getting booted from his newspaper writing job Kal took up selling i pods which allegedly ran him into some legal troubles where he was reported to have not paid for some merchandise. Kal is fond of attacking people who tend to not agree with his wackiness and Kal often mounts a moral highhorse that he often falls off in his vain pursuit of certain people he has threatened to sue or have arrested for what appears to be years now. More of this will make sense when I clean this all up for you.

Confirmation of Kal's claims would be made easier if Kalvin would for just once in his life give you a straight answer and furnish proof but his claims are so outrageous that one can easily see through the all too transparent Kal who claims among other things to be some sort of colonel in an organization.
I thought it would be best to put up on this Internet blog a simple run of the mill straight to the chase fact sheet about Kal.

The first thing you ought to know about Kal is that he says he has a rather high IQ and has apparently said in his bio and in other places that he established his IQ through a now defunct science magazine IQ test.

So I suppose we should just start with that one.

claim #1
Kal says he has a 219 IQ based on a no longer published science magazine. This is straight from the mouth of Colonel Crackhead here from a bit that I found on Xzone radio show "KAL K. KORFF - Kal's Korner - Armed with an IQ of 219, according to the Omni Magazine's World's Hardest IQ Test; "

I do suppose that like the infamous glasses photo that Kal will rage on against this saying he never claimed it but it is plainly clear from this that Kal did. You can find it by doing a word search for "Korff" and "IQ" and "Omni" and you will find plenty of stuff disproving Kal when he screams that he never said it. Kal did say and Kal DOES NOT HAVE a 219 IQ period and he is not a member of any high IQ clu like Mensa or the like.

This here is the revised edition of Kal's background found on the Xzone radio Internet website and my understanding is that if you are an on the air guest you send in a prepared background statement of yourself for the host to use to introduce you.
"Kal has written and has had published more than 5,000 articles and materials in 64 magazines and newspapers around the world. Since 1975, he has lectured to more than 300,000 people in the United States and Europe. A passionate and driven researcher, Korff has worked for companies such as Atari, Xerox, Apple Computer, Claris, The Boeing Company, and was a security-cleared Senior Systems Analyst, Level III, at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory during the original U.S. Government-funded Strategic Defense Initiative or "Star Wars" program. A Broadcaster, Lecturer, Producer and Teacher, Korff devotes his life to humanitarian causes and issues of universal importance. Kal's original insights and expertise have allowed him to contribute content or appear on virtually every major talk show and TV network, including ABC, CNN's Larry King Live!, FOX, Discovery Channel, MSNBC, National Geographic TV, Entertainment Tonight and NBC's Leeza. Additionally, Kal has been featured or quoted in scores of newspapers and magazines, including the San Francisco Examiner, the Washington Post, U.S. News and World Report, Metropolitni Expres, Skeptical Inquirer, San Jose Mercury News, Indianapolis Star, Skepter, Stanford Daily, Oakland Tribune, Yakima Herald, Phoenix New Times, Fortean Times, Saga, Omni, The Prague Post, True, Plus, the South China Daily. -

I'm a little busy right now so I will be sure to clean this up because I know I am not a very good writer and I surely know how disorganized I can get. Comment away!


Anonymous said...

This is a great start. Keep it brief, to the point and always, as you have done here, show the Kal Koute, then show the truth, or as best as you can get to it, as, like you said, it's tuff to pin the little fuck wade down. He's a good liar.


Anonymous said...

You can also find the complete bio of Kal published in this:

Also mustn't forget that 500 book deal, or Kal's greatest work, 'Secret Wars', to be published by Prometheus in 2004, er, 2006, er 2007, er 2009 er....


Anonymous said...

Secret Wars by Kal K. Korff (Hardcover - Nov 2004)
Out of Print--Limited Availability

So where is it Kal?

Squonkamatic said...

Not only did Kal K. Korff claim to have solved the JFK assassination (how do you solve an event?), but he did it at the age of 12 and embarked on a lecture circuit tour, this before claiming that at the age of 14 to having made a working Neutron bomb prototype for a science fair for which he was awarded a ribbon that anybody can have forensically dated if they don't believe him. To this date nobody has, and in Kal K. Korff's severely limited intellect that translates out as proof of having done it. Spock would have a field day with that logic.

Don Ecker said...

This is such a worthwhile effort by "Korffers" world-wide that I thought I would contribute ... using kkk's own words ... per RMIII UFO-Watchdog site.

(Under kan o' korff)

" I remind everyone I AM a SAPSTOE and the fact none of you seem to know what this means will remain a liability to you until you start to factor it into everything I do. IF you do, or when you do, you won't be so "surprised." You'll say instead, like they did today at the Embassy where two new contacts and liaisons had to be briefed, "Wow, I had no idea, but that sounds like something Korff would do." "

" I just called the US Embassy about 30 minutes ago. They told me the story today and what I wrote about our meeting yesterday, where I visited them as a beyond 100% bonafide Captain, "gave them goosebumps." They not only are blown away, pleasantly, but as they told me yesterday when they saw the previews of the Meier books, where I showed them ScotRitter, and the nuclear components from Iraq, etc., IMAGINE THIS... Wewent over ALL this stuff. "

on our way to achieving things that destroy the UFO "field" as we have "known it" since 1947. "

"...the US government wanted to know about the latest activities of Kal Korff."

" I remind everyone, that I am the only person with a 500 book deal...When Secret Wars airs, you will see me go undercover and root out very sexy agents who are honeytraps... "

" It shows me with CIA agent Scot Ritter. I assume you remember who he is. :-)

"We are here in Prague, and I get to "break the news" to him that not only have nuclear centrifuges been found, but that he was lied to and fooled by some key Iraqi scientists. I then showed him images I obtained of these components, which WERE part of Saddam's WMD secret labs we knew NOTHING about, and the CIA screamed and wanted these classified."

"However, I got the images BEFORE the CIA did in Bagdad and classified them, and they are NOT the same images. So I WILL publish them, and to PROVE it, I published one image months ago along with the info that Ritter was yet another target of one of my ops, and I had to stop his lies cold in Prague, and I did.

Both CIA and US Govt. were "thankful" but of course, I was not officially "ordered" to do it. They did not need to give me that order, Royce, I am Kal Korff. Ritter doesn't even know I helped lure him to Prague under the guise of paying him to come give a lecture. "

Love and Kisses you lard assed wanna-be ...

Don Ecker

Anonymous said...

Thx Don.

>>> ... Royce, I am Kal Korff. <<<

This pretty much sums it up.

...Kal, you are fuck nut, plain and simple. Nothing you tell, The World, ever comes to pass.

Kal, read over your own words, think about what you wrote, try and understand how idiotic it all sounds.

Lastly, where's the beef Kal? For a decade you've been making threats to sue and to take down many, and to protect us consumers.

Other than read some pages out of a few UFO books, you've done nothing but pontificate.

Again, the internet is dating you Kalvin. As time passes, so do you, Kalvin.

You will pass out of our interest, hard and hurtful, like a clay turd, but you will pass nonetheless and be flushed down the shitter.


Anonymous said...

"Wow, I had no idea, but that sounds like something Korff would do."

Spock said...

It appear to me, Captain, that this Colonel lacks the knowledge adequate to understand the meaning of the word "contradiction."

Anonymous said...

What is with the greasy hair? I hear a good shampoo and bath can take care of that. I also hear Kal needs to discover this thing called deodorant as ir has been reported you can smell the guy three cars down on the train.

Anonymous said...

It's funny how Kal claims the San Jose Mercury news article about him is bogus. One of his claims for the article being bogus is the photo which shows him wearing glasses. He states I don't wear glasses.

This is a quote from his Kals Korner column.

Speaking in Public - Part 6

Using Glasses as Props

"By wearing glasses, you automatically denote a certain level of "seriousness" or studiousness. When you want to emphasize a certain point in your presentation, try removing your glasses only during that point, then put them back on only after you are finished emphasizing what it is that you wish to bring attention to."

Here is the link to the article.

Anonymous said...

"Kal's Claims" from kult of kal's blog:

a good starting point.

Anonymous said...

Paul is on his way!
Paul Kimball and crew departed Halifax today headed for the UK where they'll be for several weeks, then on to Prague.
Hang onto your hat(s) Kal!

Brit_in_Prague said...

Mr Kimball's coming to getcha, "Colonel".


Anonymous said...

You forgot to mention the nanobots.

Anonymous said...

Say People -

Could we stop calling Kal colonel. We all know that he invented the S3so he could give himself a military title. I worked very long and hard to reach field grade and I resent him calling himself a colonel. If we must, how about kernel?

If Kal wants to sue over this outrage... he knows where I am. He knows that I don't believe him about this...

And for those of you interested, I can prove the source of my commission in an organization that we can find on the Internet that is not traced back to me.

Kevin D. Randle

Anonymous said...

I greatly enjoy watching Kernel Korff spin around in circles repeating the same threats and coming up with the same zero results. Hilariously disturbing. Comically psychotic.

However you choose to describe it, watching a guy who is nearly 50 years old engaging in all of these juvenile behaviors never ceases to be funny.

Kernel Korff should consider a career is comedy because no one is going to take him for anything other than a joke.

Anonymous said...

I think "Colonel" - with quotation marks - is fine.

Brad Hudson said...

"Kernal" it is, Dr. Randle.

Anonymous said...

Kal-is-ra-el K. Korff is weird. Just plain _weird_.

Anonymous said...

Why dont we just call him F**k-Tard?

F1 Racer

Anonymous said...

That's exactly what his High School classmates called him!

Anonymous said...

>>> Kal-is-ra-el K. Korff <<<

Or maybe there's more to it:

Ha, ha, ha, ha. What a fuck nut!


Anonymous said...

Some touching poems here:

Anonymous said...

From the poem page:

*”After finishing a counter-terrorism raid which netted some al-Quaeda connected suspects, Colonel Korff just recently returned from Oregon where he went undercover, first by shaving his head completely bald, and then by meeting with various lawyers, Federal officials, and key members of the media.”

“Colonel Kal Korff helps Prague police in their attempts to stop Neo-Nazis from marching through the Jewish Quarter of town on the anniversary of Hitler's KristallNacht. Korff shaved his head to "blend in" with Nazis, skinheads and anarchists to "misdirect" them through town and steer them to police, who arrested dozens of people.”

"Since that time, Colonel Korff has been communicating directly with Sheriff Gilbertson and is making nanotechnology components available to him to help fight corruption, courtesy of the Israeli founded Special Secret Services. Gilbertson will decide if he cares to use it."

"Nanotechnology is being used now to help eliminate terrorists. It is truly one of the last, and final frontiers where this war can be fought and still won. It is currently being deployed in Pakistan right now and Afghanistan, under my initiatives and in operations that I command."