Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Kal Korff a closet flying saucer cult leader????

A very interesting point was made by someone who regularly leaves comments here. In the rather infamous video showing Kal going off on a NUT LADEN BABBLE FEST Kal claims that his true name is Kalisrael. Let us break it down as only a SAPSTOE in the know could. Kal - is- rael. Is this some super secret special secret services only code expressing Kal's TRUEST and DEEPEST most want to be the leader of a flying saucer cult?

I think deep down Kal CRAVES that sort of power over people since he isn't achieving much with his special secret services shenanigans that have been thoroughly dissected here and elsewhere as UTTER RUBBISH. Yes Kal could become an all powerful flying saucer cult leader where women might actually pay his some attention and people might actually fear him! Oh goodness gracious!!! I can;t imagine being frightened of a more PATHETIC person than Kal and I am sure nobody else could!! aahahahahahaha!!!

Really though you should think about this point that was made here in the comments. Kal already has the delusional fantasy bit down to the cup and kettle. Our good old chap Kal knows a lot about this flying saucer business and knows how to weave some rather tall tales. Kal tries to get what he considers beautiful women into the mix of his supposed top secret activities. Kal is fanatically jealous about other flying saucer cult personality types and pretends to be the antithesis of such. and most importantly Kal needs cash because his imaginative Saudi Arabian sugar daddy sure isn't paying the bills and neither is selling i pods. Most importantly is that Kal ACTUALLY BELIEVES HIS DELUSIONS!!! I'll put pound for pound that this would be the most important attribute of any flying saucer cult type in that you have to believe and would with a smile eat your own bullshit! This fits our poor dumb Kal down to his silly cowboy hat!!!!

Is our poor little bumbling Kal really a closet flying saucer cult leader????? My personal opinion is that Kal REALLY IS a closet flying saucer cult leader. Like minds and such it looks like Kal will have no problem attracting a bunch of idiots that will hinge on his every delusional word. Dear world, I give you all Kal-is-RAEL the next flying saucer cult maniac!!!!!!!


Anonymous said...

WOW! Check out that same 'nobody is home' and 'I'm a complete freakazoid' look that both Kal and Rael share!! lol!!!!

Anonymous said...


Brad Hudson said...

Guys, we probably don't want to go down the politics route. We're here to Korff (now a verb, meaning "To research and life at the antics of one Kal K Korff) and we're all united in our quest to see Kal hoisted upon his own petard.

Arguing amongst ourselves over the biggest political morons of the last 20 years might be a bit counter-productive.

But that's just me....

On a related note, I emailed Kal asking for further information on his brother's lawsuit, as in what role he has in it as his name is mentioned nowhere in the case. I also asked him why he was saying 7 suits when there is only one on file. Oh, and I asked for a comment about no longer being associated with the XZone and being the next person featured in the Xpose section.

Needless to say my questions are still waiting for a response....

Anonymous said...

I love the way Kal shows his ignorance about legal matters. His new website post today says he wrote to the judge in the matter of his brother's civil lawsuit. Is he trying to sway the judge or what? LOL
The case (the only one involving Kurtis Korff) is about this, and this only -

Korff v. Geiger et al

Plaintiff: Kurtis Kern Korff
Defendant: James Kenneth Geiger, Alan Brad Johnson, David Daniels, Brian Anderson, Gil Gilbertson, Michael Burke, David Beck, Ray Webb, Jeffrey Dovci, Josh Quick, Josephine County, Josephine County Adult Corrections, James Shames and Oregon State Police

Case Number: 1:2008cv03018
Filed: February 25, 2008

Court: Oregon District Court
Office: Medford Office [ Court Info ]
County: Josephine
Presiding Judge: Magistrate Judge Mark D. Clarke

Nature of Suit: Civil Rights - Other Civil Rights
Cause: 42:1983 Civil Rights Act
Jurisdiction: Federal Question
Jury Demanded By: Plaintiff
Amount Demanded: $3,000,000.00


Anonymous said...

Kal wrote this "If these forensic reports are RIGHT however, and it seems to anyone casually reading them they certainly are, then Mr. Dovci acted criminally — there is no other possible interpretation."

The one thing Kal doesn't understand about forensic science, among so many other subjects Kal is seriously ignorant in, is it all comes to interpretation. One scientist - and just for Kal, a scientist would be someone who is actually an expert with an education who can testify as a real expert witness - may take the results and see it differently than another scientist.

Anyhow, I could care less about what happens with this lawsuit but I do care that Kal is trying to ride the coattails of a family tragedy so he can try to be someone of import.

If Kal did write a letter to the judge in the case then that letter is now an official part of the case file of which anyone can get copies. I seriously have doubts Kal wrote a thing and like everything else Kal tries to take credit for, it was all done by someone else.

I do hope things work out for Kal's family and I would be utterly ashamed to have Kal as my son or brother.

Kal is an idiot said...

Gentlemen this is not a political blog. Each time I see a pointless political comment not legitimately about Kal K. Korff I will remove it. There are millions of political blogs and I ask you go locate one or start your own if you feel the need to blog or comment about politics. Thank you all for understanding that this is a Korffing only blog.

Anonymous said...

Yes, lets keep it for Korffing only.

I must say, this thread is turning into the best one so far. Very well done fellow Korffers.


Anonymous said...

Dear Kernal Korffy,

Please do the world a favor and obtain an education from a recognized institution of higher learning. As someone who refers to himself an a "journalist" you really are in desperate need of an education that will greatly aid you in not embarrassing yourself each time you publish a rant or fantasy on your website.

I noticed you often refer to items you post on your website as "op ed." Kernal Korffed, do you know what this actually means? I'll take an educated guess and state that you have no idea what it actually means, as you constantly misuse it.

For your information and future reference, Kernal Korffified, the term "op ed" is short for opposite the editorial page. An "op ed" piece is an article authored by a person not affiliated with the newspaper in which the "op ed" piece appears.

An "op ed" piece is also generally printed in the newspaper on the page that is opposite of the editorial page.

So the question begs to be asked, Kernal Korff: Just what editorial piece are you writing in opposition of?

With the utmost of seriousness, Kernal Korff, please seek out an education so you might have the intelligence to not keep making an utter fool of yourself repeatedly.

Really, are you this fucking stupid, Kernal? Apparently.

Brad Hudson said...

I enjoy how Kal continues to throw around the term "criminal"....

.... in a freaking civil case.

Kal doesn't even have a grasp of the differences between criminal and civil trials. I suggest he brush up on that difference should he ever return to the USA. While I'm fairly certain he will face no criminal prosecution, I'm sure he'll have all the civil trials he can handle for quite some time.

Kurt Peters said...

What's WITH that GOTH S3 Hebrew stationary KAL has just posted on his site? And HOW can we all get a copy of his COOL stationary TEMPLATE to use in our OWN word processors???!!!

Anonymous said...

Sheriff Gil Gilbertson CAUGHT LYING! - Lawyers Preparing Formal Complaint, Josephine County Commissioners Notified and Media PDF Print E-mail
News - Latest News
Written by Kal Korff - Op Ed on the road.
Thursday, 21 May 2009 13:04

Original Intelligence Report which PROVES that Sheriff Gil Gilbertson FIRST TOLD the Korff, Toone and other families that there was a 'problem' in the shooting of Kurtis Korff. Gilbertson then went onto claim that Oregon Deputy Jim Geiger LIED, and that Deputy JOHNSON was the REAL SHOOTER! if it were not for Gil Gilbertson reporting this, no one would have known about the cover-up and misconduct of his officers. Gilbertson has now been caught lying, formal complaints are now being prepared to expose records proving what Gilbertson said.

Dear World,

I am reporting to you that Sheriff Gil Gilbertson has been CAUGHT LYING about several issues, which shall be proved shortly, in the form of Official Complaints now being prepared against him.

Gilbertson, who has remained suspiciously SILENT over the FACT that he first alerted the Korff and Toone families and others that Oregon Deputy James Geiger LIED about the shooting of Kurtis Korff and that JOHNSON was the REAL shooter — Gilbertson has now been caught "denying certain events and conversations" for which there exists independent records of. These records prove that Gil Gilbertson has now lied.

In compliance with the laws, Josephine County Commissioners, the Sheriff's Office and the Court and media, (to help insure transparency and accountability), are now all being notified.

The conclusive evidence that Gil Gilbertson has been caught lying, will be released in the Formal Complaints and offered into Official Evidence so that no party (including Gilbertson) can continue to "deny" events.

This report, among others, PROVES that there was "back channel communications" taking place between Gil Gilbertson and certain members of the public, as Gilbertson was trying to make certain parties aware of the illegal cover-up in his own department.

Notice Sheriff Gil Gilbertson has NOT DENIED THIS EVENT, NOR THE ACCURACY OF THIS MEMO. Gilbertson CANNOT, unless he chooses to LIE again.

This memo has been submitted into Evidence with the Court, and is legally accepted as FACT!

Anonymous said...

From the Josephine County Oregon Sheriff's Office:
Sheriff's Office Complaint Form

Please complete the Citizen Complaint form below. Prior to submitting this form to the Sheriff's Office, please take a moment to review your form for accuracy.

Be Advised: The Sheriff's Office takes all complaints VERY seriously. Filing a false, untrue, or exaggerated report has very serious consequences and may result in legal action.


Squonkamatic said...

What a fucking idiot.

Kal is a punk bitch said...

The latest from Kal is easily verifiable since it is now according to Kal been submitted as evidence. I call bullshit here. Why? because if Kal is the source of the information you can pretty much write it off. How do you now when Kal is lying? His lips move. And since this "report" is supposed to be evidence and Kal's name is written on it then Kal should be considered a witness and I would subpoena his sorry ass as a witness and have him appear in court. Just think about it! Kal would never have the balls to answer that subpoena and if by chance in one of his lower level of uncritical thinking during one of his delusions he decided to go, well then the attorney for the people being sued would have a fucking field day stomping Kal's sorry ass showing what an incompetent fruitcake he is. Of course everyone knows that mister "expert witness" (NOT!) Kal Korff is a spineless parasite deathly scared of face to face confrontation. Don't believe it? Just ask Kevin Randle or Paul Kimball. Come on now Kal don't tell me you have already forgot about your pussy hurting when you cried like a little girl and dodged your invitation to debate Kevin Randle face to face for a charity event benefiting Canadian and US soldiers. Kal you're a punk.

Anonymous said...

humor and satire at its finest! my side aches each time i read this blog! is this kal korff guy for real?

Squonkamatic said...

If Kal K. Korff were to return to US soil there would almost certainly be hell to pay. People don't relocate to someplace like Prague just to cruise for Czech pussy or because they got an offer to write for a free metro rail periodical. If he doesn't have actual warrants pending he surely has either financial or legal woes awaiting his attention. Immigration would want to know about his comings and goings, which is why he tried the old "secret stealth SAPSTOE undercover operation" when claiming to have made his jailhouse nanobot component operation. As if the Israelis would fly him over in a diplomatic bag that would bypass immigration just to try and get his punk dirtbag brother out of a jam & prove Royce Meyers III wrong. Way to trivialize Israeli foreign policy, idiot.

Kal K. Korff is a fruitcake and he's stuck in Prague until further notice, unable to effect the outcome in what his brother has for breakfast let alone the jerk's legal standing. All this fartnoise about official complaints and nonsensical kindergarten legalese is just his current distraction, probably because the parties involved are not going to be refuting him directly. Then there is always the Paul Kimball documentary project: Professor Pumpernickle probably thinks that the human drama of his brother's case is going to win him sympathy points with those already familiar with him who might be dissuaded from further contact by the impact of Kimball's film. It's the best thing he's got.

None of this is about truth or justice, it's about Kal K. Korff trying to cover his own flabby ass again before the barn door is left open for those sympathizers to flee in horror when they realize they've been taken for a long Czech beer fueled ride by a con artist. The ultimate unspoken question is, If Kurtis' dismal prospects for legal salvation were soooo important to little Kalvin, why hasn't he returned to Oregon to actually participate in & contribute to his team of crack jurisprudence expertise?

The answer is exactly as stated above: The knowledge that if he were to do so he'd very quickly be sidelined because his own background is equally troubling, murky, deceptive and fraught with infantile behavior that any prosecutor would be overjoyed to have a chance to depose in court. All this ATTENTION CITIZENS OF THE WORLD nonsense is about as close as he can get to the Josephine County courthouse, especially if he actually wants to help young Kurtis score some quick cash. Fucking idiots both of them, they deserve each other.

Anonymous said...

Again, I am lost on all this talk concerning Kurtis and lawsuits in Grants Pass (Josephine County), Oregon. This is where I live, and although Mr Gilbertson has gotten his share of criticism in the past, this whole thing about Kurtis is pretty much unknown to those of us who live here. The incident is common knowledge, although no longer a topic of discussion, but there is yet to be any news stories or editorials or whatever about misconduct or criminal charges being filed against anyone involved. Can someone point me to a legitimate source that can verify these things besides Kal? No one in this town even knows who he is. Our biggest complaint with the Sheriff's dept here are the ongoing tax levies we are voting on in order to keep our public safety depts intact and in business.

Max Littel said...

Kal Israel Family Under Attack By US Government!!! Brother Steve Is Next!!!:


Anonymous said...

"Kernal Korff" sound like a kind of popcorn you would buy at a sleazy carnival.

Anonymous said...

Me thinks Kernal Kook is trying to position for a possible cut of the 300 million dollar prize money....

Brad Hudson said...

For the person looking for a legit source for the lawsuit: http://www.illinois-valley-news.com/archive/2009/05/13/story-man_files_suit.html

That was posted by someone else on another thread, but it's apparently a local weekly.

Brad Hudson said...


Now KKIAI is getting "worldwide attention from the press"...

I can't wait to see what Kal's response to this will be.

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, make sure to leave SANE and FACTUAL posts on the comment section for the story about Kal.

F1 Racer

Anonymous said...


I left a response. They should okay it for posting.


Anonymous said...

DotJoss President and CEO to Mr. Milos Bartu - Your GAMES Are OVER!

News - Latest
Written by Kal Korff on the road
Tuesday, 23 September 2008 17:43

Dear World,

The President and CEO of DotJoss has sent a letter DIRECTLY to Mr. Bartu of MacZone.

Bartu was also told he now has official CRIMINAL complaints filed against him with the police, and specifically that his games are "over."

It is up to Mr. BARTU to publish the letter he has received from DotJoss.

If Mr. Bartu or others "deny" he was sent this item, it is NOT true.

We predict, even though we are not psychic, that Mr. Bartu will NOT continue to tell the public the FULL details, especially about his "kind offer" to blackmail me and my friends and partners who are guilty of NOTHING "illegal" at all.

Brad Hudson said...

Oh, my. The comments of Sheriff Gilbertson in the Illinois Valley News seem to have caused our dear "Kernal" to blow a gasket. as per usual, paers and complaints are being filed and the newspaper is receiving "proof" of these "back channel communications".

This is, of course, "developing"..

Kal is coming apart at the seams.

Squonkamatic said...

He's such a worthless greasy fucking idiot.

Anonymous said...

Hi Brad,

>>>Kal is coming apart at the seams.<<<

More proof which we can't verify I'm sure.

I'm now a Sheriff Gilbertson fan-boy!


Dr. Mike Swords, PhD said...

Recent research breakthroughs have identified the archetype that triggered the 'secret-alien-fighting-paramilitary-extra-legal-supra-national-catsuited-supermodel-high-tech-nanobotesque' fantasies that poor sweet Kalvin manifests:


Anonymous said...



Kal K. Korff

Anonymous said...

What a fart smeller!

From dummies site (quotes are mine):

>>>Gil Gilbertson has been CAUGHT LYING to the media, who "now have" the documents PROVING that he knowingly lied!

Josephine County Sheriff Gil Gilbertson has been CAUGHT LYING.

Recently, Gil Gilbertson LIED to members of the media, claiming that there were no "backdoor communications" between himself and Colonel Kal Korff.

Now, the press "is being sent" copies of the very communications Gilbertson claims "never existed" — and formal complaints against Gilbertson for lying and "denying" events he was personally involved in, which call now into question his very moral character — are being prepared and will be filed.<<<

So, again, once again, what is it Kalvin? You state that it has been proven (by you) and that the media now has the documents proving....

But wait.

Now the press is being sent the documents.


No wonder you can't keep it all straight Kalvin.

You lie to yourself.

So, there you have it fellow Korffers.

As if we didn't already know this.


Anonymous said...


I didn't add these quotes:

"backdoor communications"

That's fuck nut.


Anonymous said...

You've probably seen her amaze the world as only she can - Miss Susan Boyle from the UK stuns the world by singing just like her idol, Elaine Page, in this tear producing rendition of I Have a Dream. If you are like most people, when you first saw Susan, you wrote her off - "judged" her. And then when she began to sing, you "judged" her differently. Think about this fact for a moment - a person should not have to sing great, to be considered great.

Don't judge people - it's God's job.

Anonymous said...

oh, crap! I took a few days off of Korffing and missed all the hub-bub with the new Illinois Valley news story filed on May 20.

I sure wouldn't want to be Paul Kimball right now, or David Biedny. Because things continue to get really bad for them.

KIAI worldwide! Korffing on

Squonkamatic said...

Hopefully Mr. Jorgensen will poke deeper into Professor Porcupine's charges & claims, especially of being an intelligence agent nanobot deploying SAPSTOE operative for the Super Duper Super Secret Services with a ridiculous rank of colonel. The closer anyone looks at Kal K. Korff's antics the more bizarre they appear, starting with those YouTube videos. I suspect we'll see the entry that Scott linked to disappear once Kalvin realizes how damaging his own words are to his credibility. One doesn't even really have to do anything except let him rant on to see how preposterous it all is.

Anonymous said...

So some town newspaper is the big media attention Kal was claiming his brother's case was getting? LMAO

Kal is so predictable and his latest exaggeration is no surprise. He is Kal Korff after all.

Kal needs no help looking like a complete ass and he does just fine on his own.

Anonymous said...

Look out because Kernal Krazy has now sent more stuff to "the press." Meaning that Kal sent an email to the guy who wrote the story in the Illinois Valley News. Kal Korff just has no luck with any newspapers.

First the San Jose Mercury News screws everything up by exposing Kal for the nut he is and next Kal gets spanked by the small press newspaper Illinois Valley News.

Ouch. This really has to be very embarrassing for Kal considering he was hailing the same newspaper for covering his brother's case and now some small town reporter has exposed Kal's fantasy life. Looks like our big SAPSTOE got owned by a rather small fish. LMAO I wonder if Kal will ever share how it feels getting owned by this reporter? ROTF

Best part is that now people will find this blog from it being printed in the newspaper and Kal will be more exposed than ever.

I feel truly sorry for the guy's family that his lunacy has now been published for everyone where his family lives to read and laugh at. Great job Kal has done embarrassing his family with his stupid little games and now making his family likely the laughing stock of their community. Nice job there Kernal Nutball! Kal likely won;t be winning any son of the year award. What a shameless asshole for doing this to his mother and brother.

Anonymous said...

Does Kal ever consider that he could be jeopardizing his brother's case *if* his brother really is innocent?

Kal claims to have all of this information and claims that his imaginary agency has gathered information that might have a direct impact on the case. If I was a lawyer defending this case I would call Kal as a witness in the blink of an eye.

If Kal shows up to testify then I'd tear him to shreds on cross examination. If he doesn't show then I'd ask for a dismissal of the case since a witness who might have facts that could influence the outcome of the case didn't appear to testify and that would mean all the relevant facts could not be considered by a judge.

Either way this is a lose - lose situation for Kal and for his brother. I think this would be the ultimate justice to see this happen and for Kal to pay big time for opening his fat mouth one too many times.

Maybe we should all write to the place where his brother's lawsuit is at and ask for Kal to get summoned to appear! This could be a win - win here because not only does Kal get exposed again but now all the people waiting to sue him would know where he would be and could serve him with summons for their civil actions against him.

Kal might have put his own foot too deep into his own mouth again!

Anonymous said...

All I can say is, after reading the latest rant on his website, is that that guy is sick -very, VERY sick!
And I don't mean physically.
No wonder Martina left him, and everyone else has long since shunned him, including members of his own family.

Anonymous said...

Come out of the closet Kal!