Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentine's Day Kal you loser!

So what will Kal Korff do on Valentine's Day? Maybe take Martina out to Burger King whil ehe dins on a vlaue meal and she is only allowed to buy anything ninety-nine cents and under? Perhaps Kal will while he stomps through a graveyard taking pictures of ghosts lift some flowers off a grave for that girl he's been watching for a while now. But I doubt it. Poor dumb Kal can't even keep a former fellow coworker from "stealing" his girlfriend! I'm not being mean here and those are Kal's OWN WORDS from his OWN NUTTY VIDEO where he pranced around an empty room pretending to give a speech. Yes Kal I am so very sure the "Israeli delegation" you claimed was present was so very concerned that some guy swooped in and took your "girlfriend" right out from under your nose. ahahahahahahahahhahaa

I think Kal is likely spending this romantic day alone dreaming and well doing whatever it is that a fruitcake like him does when he is alone. YUK! I don't even want to think about it!

Kal is likely tucked away in his apartment scheming new ways to get even with his "kritics" and dreaming of becoming someone of importance like he was in the good old days when he was publishing shitty literature, jumping to conclusions, regurgitating the works of other people and weaseling his way onto to television shows because really making the Leeza show was just a monumental moment in our history that no one will forget and ---wait --- Kal was on Leeza???? Oh Kal how your glory days are gone. No more real media, no more books being published, no more lecturing in places where there are actually REAL PEOPLE in the audience, where did it all go wrong Kal? WHERE? I'll give you a hint here Kal --- go watch your own videos though I think if someone were to come up to you and smack you in the head you still wouldn't get it you crazy little twit you aren;t even good enough to get on the Jerry Springer show! ahahahahahhaa What that's Kal? You didn't know about Jerry Springer's producer turning down your offer to come on the show and expose the truth? ahahahahahaahahh

I'd send that lonely babbling bastard Kal some chocolates but he's so inept he'd pobably take an hour unwrapping a piece only to choke on it. Speaking of choking I hope Kal doesn't overwrench the chicken on this glorious day.

Kal Kal Kal. Oh my where did it all go so wrong for you? Where?



Ed V. said...

Crap, it's Valentine's Day.

Anonymous said...

I gave Mrs. Racer some flowers and oral sex.

Kal gave Martina herpes.

F1 Racer

Field Marshal Sir Jimmy D said...

In response to my last email to the ´´Colonel´´, the Great Man says that I am udderly exposed in the ´´Jimmy D widget´´ on his website.
Now I have looked high and low and have finally determined that there is, in point of fact, no such widget.
Kalvin, I am not bothered either way. But since no ´´Jimmy D widget´´ exists, why on earth did you clai that it does? Why lie about such a paltry matter?
You just cannot stop lying about anything and everything, can you ´´Colonel´´?

Anonymous said...

Breaking news 14 Feb 2009:
Kal announces Apple's new laptop without keyboard.

OLD news 05 JANUARY, 2009:
Apple announces new laptop without keyboard.

Hey Kal, where ya been lately??

Anonymous said...

>>> Kal announces Apple's new laptop without keyboard. <<<

It's a joke video by the people at The Onion. Very funny video, go to their site and search it out.

A joke video, presented... very late in the game, by a joke person.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, that's where I got the info:
Also note the latest one - a new pill for happy people - 'Despondex.

Either Kal is trying to be funny or he's too dumb to know better.

Anonymous said...

Saturday night game time.

Since Kal didn't respond to my request for the names of his family members that I had supposedly threatened, even after a 3 day grace period, I will now have to go to Level 2 of the game.
This is known as the LIARS QUIZ, or better known as a True-False quiz. Goes like this:
Some of the following 10 statements are true, some are false (Hint: 5 of each) -

1. 'SecretxWars will never be published.
2. Paul Kimball is a lawyer.
3. Kal Korff is an expert witness.
4. I have contacted members of Kal's immediate family.
5. I am in contact with the law firm of HORAK & CHVOSTA in Prague.
6. Royce Myers III could care less about Kal Korff.
7. Rob McConnell could care less about Kal Korff.
8. Kal's website is now being monitored by the FBI at my request.
9. Kal Korff was conceived out of wedlock.
10. My email address is:

I leave it to Kal to answer those before I go to Level 3 of the game.


Anonymous said...

1. 'SecretxWars will never be published. TRUE
2. Paul Kimball is a lawyer. TRUE
3. Kal Korff is an expert witness. UH, FALSE!
4. I have contacted members of Kal's immediate family. FALSE!
5. I am in contact with the law firm of HORAK & CHVOSTA in Prague. If you mean Kal is saying this, then it would be FALSE!
6. Royce Myers III could care less about Kal Korff. TRUE!
7. Rob McConnell could care less about Kal Korff. FALSE! Rob Rimjob McConnell couldn't go on without his air filler asshole Kal!
8. Kal's website is now being monitored by the FBI at my request. TRUE!
9. Kal Korff was conceived out of wedlock. Tough but I will go with PROBABLY TRUE!
10. My email address is: TRUE!

Anonymous said...

Very close, but still no cigar! #10 is true, just in case Kal wishes to play the game. If not, Level #3 next week.


Anonymous said...

All you have to do is stop lying, Korff. In ceasing the stream of bullshit, you would be left with nothing else to say. The people who contribute to this blog would thus in turn be left with nothing to say, and you would be left alone.

Shut your lying trap - that is the key. Just stop: wind up your website, and stop going on and on and on and ON about this, that and the other.

Stop lying, Korff. Shut your lying trap. That's LITERALLY and udderly "all" you have to do.

Anonymous said...


Kal, you aren't being funny or remotely close to being witty with this. Personally I think you actually thought you were using that word correctly until a number of people pointed it out to you. Then you come up with this lame shit about tit being used in mocking fashion? Not buying it Kal you fucking moron.

And Kal, I'm still waiting to see the letter 'c' being replaced with the letter 'k' as you said was starting to happen. Please show me a single dictionary where the word '"critic" is spelled "kritic". Kal, you're a douche.

Anonymous said...

So Kal you fat pathetic bastard! When do we get to hear all about your complaint against Meyers???? And when do we get to see the KPMG audit you promised???? Thanks for the laughs Kal you clown!

Anonymous said...

From the:

What KKK should be doing.

Dec 28 08

Gene and David don their Consumer Protection hats and expose the questionable antics of UFO researcher Bill Knell, someone who has allegedly preyed on the unwary for at least three decades. They'll be joined in this worthy effort by investigator Frank Warren.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Just in case you need a reminder, read this material over again and keep in mind the dates and claims made by KKK:

Anonymous said...

Whatever happened to that sworn affidavit, or some such thing, that KKK was going to show the WORLD to PROVE that KKK is a Kolonel in the S3?

I know, same shit, different day.

Kuck Kut...
Fuck Nut

Anonymous said...

Reading through the goo dold net and finding tons of things written by Kal, you can see that this idiot has not grown at all! Kal uses the same lameass lines and old bullshit he's been using for years and years now.

This little Kalism "shituation" has been over used by Kal just like the word literally, which is often misused.

Get a new gimmick Kal you washed up loser.

Anonymous said...

I know what you mean. I had dealings with Kalvin, off and on, for a span of about, 12 to 15 years. Most of it was fine; a lot of capital letters, making grandiose claims and promises, but no threats.

I once asked him about a claim he made to me, regarding some UFO stuff.

Kalvin asked me to prove it; show him the e-mails, etc.

This was about 10 years in the past. I didn't have the e-mails so he bounced around stating that he must have been repeating something someone else told him, etc.

It, seemly, made no difference to Kalvin that the information came out of his mouth...

Udderly ri-dick-ulous.

Now, I keep e-mails, and I have thousands that go back many years but, seeing as how the internet really started up for the "every man" in about 1995, not many were backing up e-mails and, most were using AOL, EarthLink, etc back then anyway.

In any event, Kalvin can be a slippery prick.

Now-a-days, we all save our Kalvin e-mails and video clips, because Kalvin can't be trusted and, as he is very, prick slippery, we have to throw his words and image back in his face to prove that he lied, etc....

And still, he plays his word games, which we all see through, in a lame ass attempt to turn it around on his kritics.

In any event, onto the real reason I’ve wrote another Korff centric letter today….

Kalvin states that he has over 100 affiliates, located throughout the world, in his highly evolved and super educated “think tank”. Now, one would assume that the majority of these highly trained and very educated people are on board with his “protect the consumer” scam and his resultant actions to get the job done.

So, one would have to ask,

“Kalvin, are you telling we consumers that your affiliates are a-okay with you sending fraudulent complaints to RMIII and harassing him (and many other UFO and Bigfoot enthusiast) because RMIII disagreed with your belief regarding your brother Kurtis Korff, after which, RMIII removed you from his, super duper and so important, UFO Hall of Fame?”


That’s some “save the consumer from themselves” think tank you got there.

Kalvin K. Korff, fighting the tines of windmills alone, as it should be.

Fuck Nut

Anonymous said...

What is it Kal and this "Udder" thing? How creepy for a "ladies man." What is Kal trying to suck subconsciously?

I have nothing against homosexuals or transsexuals. I don't think Kal is one way or the other.

I just know Kal is at least hillbilly smart! And I do mean Billy!

Kal is a copy cat of the weird extreme. I hope Kal and Martina are happy together. I love Korff. I would say, I'm a fan of your failure before man. Think X Zone radio. Twilight Zone maybe?

I.Am.Kult.Of.Kal said...

I just posted a quick entry about I think is a really important topic - the UFO Hall of Fame. ;)

Read here:

I believe F1-Racer, KIAI and anyone else should also take the warranted time to bring anyone's attention to this reputable list of fine individuals.

Really, this list shows Who is great (and who is Not). It's online, so it shows the truth, right?! It's in black & white, right?!

Anonymous said...

Noticed on KKK's web site.

Feb. 16, 2009

60,000 downloads of your "book";

"Point Blank, Attempted Murder"

Congrats Kalvin!

Book... book.... BOOK!


Anonymous said...

Something to ponder.
Kal was scheduled to be on the xzone radio show last Friday.
He didn't show.
This week's xzone schedule is now full, and Kal's name is not listed anywhere.


Anonymous said...

He must be to "busy" fighting crime with his side-kick...

Martina, The Udderly Super Model

Anonymous said...

Is Kalbert brain dead or what?

I notice that he is again insisting that Paul Kimball is jewish. Can't he understand English? Kimball has said repeatedly that he isn't jewish.

I see he refers to Kevin Randle as a major but I seem to have read somewhere that Randle is either a lieutenant colonel or is about to be promoted to lieutenant colonel. Can't Kalbert keep up? Maybe he should take notes.

That also seems to mean that his attacks on Randle have no effect. He's either been promoted or is about to be so Kalbert's threats have gone nowhere.

Kalbert keeps saying stuff but it never happens. Makes you wonder what delusion he feeds himself so that he doesn't have to admit the reality of his, shall I say it? Impotence.

Anonymous said...

Kalvin K. Korff:








Anonymous said...

Kal just announced on his site that he will be on the xzone radio show tonight.
not according to this:

So who's the liar, Rob or Kal??


Anonymous said...

don't forget my own personal favorite Kal-ism, his play on the phrase "peanut gallery" in the FPMG audit video

Anonymous said...


I can listen to Kalvin talk tonight (if he shows up) about shit I don't care about AND completely skirt the issue that he's being raked over the coals, all over in internet AND that he is now, more than ever, found out, called out, and of no substance, whatsoever, if ever...!

Oh, by the way, didn't Kalvin say that he was going to put a stop to this blog, and that he had all of our IP addresses and that he was going to put a stop to this shit (repeating for emphasis)?

Fuck Nut

Anonymous said...







Anonymous said...

If Kal's enemies are in the "penis gallery" I guess that makes Kal blowjob artist extraordinary considering his undying devotion to those certain people. If you want fame Kal, you need to go star a movie or rock n' roll star. The flying saucer personalities will get you nothing but the mockery you so greatly deserve.

Anonymous said...

*star* oops!

I meant *stalk*

See there, Kal? See how simple it is to say you made a mistake?

Squonkamatic said...

Delighted to hear that Kevin Randle is getting a promotion -- I just looked over his own blog and don't see mention of it (which is an indicator of what a class act Kevin is, compared to some who would dedicate an entire five page posting about themselves to brag about it), he's served for decades with honor & distinction and deserves the wings.

Could someone please figure out which rank grade by which to refer to Kevin?

Anonymous said...

Kevin Randle: Actual military officer who engaged REAL terrorists in combat.

Kal Korff: A bullshit artist wearing second hand military rank pieces and a guy who would shit his own pants and curl like a baby if he had to actually confront REAL terrorists let alone the Avon lady.

Kal Korff doesn't have a nano of the class or courage that Kevin Randle displays. You're way, way, way out of your league here Kal.

Anonymous said...

Listening to KKK on the X-Zone right now.

He's talking on a pay phone again. I can hear people talking in the back ground. Or maybe it's a cell phone?

Anyway, he's an expert on Noah's Ark as well... ;-)

And the Bible, and astro... fuck, whatever.

Hey Kalvin, why don't you talk about what the world thinks of you?

Oh wait, you've taken a lesson from RMIII and you're being very quiet and you're not talking, taking away our power against you.


Are you listening Kalvin?

Anonymous said...

Kal is now on about how he disproved the claim that you could see Noah's ark every 20 years and he did this in 1976 using satellite photos! Anf Kal is now talking about the Sumarians! LMAO! Kal must be reading Sitchin books now!!

Kal sounds like he is on a payphone again because during one point you could hear people talking and walking by. And good old Kal, you can always count on that idiot to repeat everything that's been said by every major news agencies where politics are considered.

Now Rob M. skips from talking terrorism and politics to some flying saucer Roswell deal. Kal is going on about some flying saucer guy's deal about going to a college and Kal says that anyone who lies about going to a college is committing fraud. Kind of like how Kal claims to be writing a thesis?

I couldn't listen to the rest of it and missed the first half. But it was the usual Kal nut hump fest with Rob calling Kal his "good buddy" and just letting Kal ramble on and on and on about the same shit.

I.Am.Kult.Of.Kal said...

No doubt controversy and idiocy pay. I commend Rob M for keeping Kal on for being the mercenary Rob is. It pays Rob, if even minutely, to have ANYBODY on which results in people listening in. Even if anybody is a controversial idiot like Kal.

On another note, who the hell is Brad Sparks? Why hasn't he chimed in here?

Whenever I read from Kal that Brad is his "best friend," I feel like I'm listening to a junior high school kid. I wonder if Brad feels as childishly close to his affectionate mate.

Anonymous said...

Sparks on Roswell:

Anonymous said...

Sparks On Friedman and Roswell:

Anonymous said...

I suppose Kal will now start attacking Brad Sparks for being unpatriotic for attacking the Air Force in this video where Brad claims the Air Force covered up a lying saucer crash!! Or Kal will just let it slide because Brad is his "best friend" and is immune from the same skeptical standards Kal unleashing on other people.

Anonymous said...

I have a question about Kalfred the Idiotic. I saw him waving around his high school science ribbon "proving" he made an atomic bomb. But wouldn't there be a newspaper article about who won the science fair? Maybe it would only be the school newspaper, but I would think that would be better documentation than a ribbon that only proves he's had it since high school.

And isn't that sad? He moves to Europe and takes his sceince fair ribbon with him.

I also wonder if he got "real" plutonium like the kid in The Manhattan Project did by running his radio controlled car into the secret facility that his mother's boyfriend runs.

So Kalfred the Idiotic, why is it that you don't have something more substantial than the ribbon like another newspaper lcipping to prove the truth? Huh? Why?

Anonymous said...

Kal Korff never made a working a-bomb or nuke. He is basing this claim on the real life story of John A. Phillips who was a student at Princeton. Kal's claim to this story is an absurd lie.

Squonkamatic said...

LMAO, Noah's Ark. That's almost as good as the Loch Ness Monster. Another amusing entertaining bit of harmless fun RUINED and trivialized by a guy who can't hold down a full time job. The comment about college educations is priceless, since there's no way that the professor could actually be working on a doctorate thesis without a master's, and no way he'd have a master's without a bachelor's. It would be interesting to find out the exact cause behind Kal K. Korff's abrupt withdrawal from college after 1 or 2 semesters. Somehow I doubt it was because of financial hardship since he's apparently been supported by his family for his entire life -- perhaps he got caught cheating or lying, even just in regards to admissions information? Someone should contact that college and find out exactly what is on his transcript, I doubt it is very favorable.

Anonymous said...

I assume that Kalvin would tell The World that he was not challanged by the teaching and information and that his time was better spent...

Reading about and then stealing works by other people.

Fuck you, nut sack.

Anonymous said...

Kal actually did attend a small Christian oriented college in Northern California, but was kicked out after a background check was done on his application. It was as phony as a lead balloon. He also was terminated from a few of his short-lived jobs as well for the same reason.
He thought no one would check his claims.
(As in being an 'expert witness' in the OJ trial, etc., etc.).

Anonymous said...

Maybe that helps to explain the obsession with religion.

Ed V. said...

"Kal actually did attend a small Christian oriented college in Northern California, but was kicked out after a background check was done on his application. It was as phony as a lead balloon. He also was terminated from a few of his short-lived jobs as well for the same reason."

Can you be more specific? I've read comments by certain persons that Korff has a tendency to greatly exaggerate if not outright lie. Read somewhere that Korff had a job at a software or computer firm and he said he had a brain tumor. Now I don't know if Korff had surgery (it would explain a lot) but if this is a lie on Korff's part then there is no excuse whatsoever. More information would be appreciated.

Anonymous said...

This reminds me of "Colonel" "KalIsrael" and Martina:

I'll say it again - you are vermin, Korff.

Anonymous said...

Ed V. -
To quote from another source:

"Kal really does have the talking bit down to an art in so many ways. He weaseled his way into a job at Claris for about four weeks. That ended when Kal's credentials weren't what he claimed. That and he said something about having a fatal brain tumor or cancer. Looks like he beat the odds. Kal even talked his way into a job as a computer technician at Lawrence Livermore Labs. Don;t buy that bullshit that he worked on Star Wars. Kal was just a computer tech guy who didn't last very long at that job either. Just like his short time with Apple doing customer support. Kal talks a big game but when it comes time to play he shows just how very small he is.

Saturday, October 20, 2007
Rick said...
Kal is still around? Bwahahahahaha!!! I knew this dolt years ago down in California and (he)was a loon back then."

Anonymous said...

Ever hear of Pastor Doug Wilson?
One of Kal's close friends (according to Kal):


Anonymous said...

>>> But Doug Wilson is no normal pastor. He is a biblical hard-liner, a man who in numerous books and speeches is quick to advocate the most draconian punishments of the Old Testament for all kinds of offenses, some quite minor. <<<

You see here an example of Kalvin's actions as well. Kalvin paid attention and agreed, udderly.

Anonymous said...

Even to the extent of messing around with little girls?

Anonymous said...

Kal is now a General.
This is his newest organization.

Captain, Colonel, General, S3, SAPSTOE, 3rd position...
what's the diff?

Anonymous said...

That youtube link ( doesn't work. Not that the video was there, then removed, but the link doesn't go anywhere....try again?

Anonymous said...

That Doug Wilson is more dangerous than you might think.

Pastor Wilson "accredits" schools to be followers of his hardline faith. Just in Oregon, there are least half dozen of these supposedly Christian schools.

Worst of all, he's openly anti-semetic and racist, with ties to the Klan (the real KKK).

It's all making sense now, right? Kal's dad, the initials of all Korff kids, his Christian school, then the sudden turn against his dad and his conversion to "Judy-ism" (as Kal wrongly pronounces it).

That Kal is (yet again) one mentally sick individual.

Read more about Wilson and how he affliates other schools with his thinking. I would not be surprised if Kal attended one of these schools.

Anonymous said...

Dear “KalIsrael”,

You are not a Colonel and a SAPSTOE in the “Israeli-based, Saudi-funded” Special Secret Services. There is no such thing as a SAPSTOE and there is no such thing as the Special Secret Services.

You know it. We know it. You know that we know it. We know that you know it. You know that we know that you know it. And we know that you know that we know it.

For God’s sake – you may have 30 or 40 years left to live. Do you really want to spend them like this? Tilting at the windmills of KIAI, Royce Myers the whatever-it-is, David Biedny (whoever he is), F1 Racer (peace be upon him and Mrs Racer), et al? Surely you have other fish to fry?

To wit: you need expert professional attention, because you are a very, very sick man. Get help. Now. Every day that you wait sees you sinking deeper into the morass of mental illness.

Field Marshall Lord Jimmy of D,
The Queen’s Own Nanobot Regiment (“The Fightin’ Korffers” – motto: “English is a literal language”).

Anonymous said...

or go to YouTube, enter TPAGeneral in search box.

Anonymous said...

I just found this on Randle's blog dated July 16, 2007 in a posting about Edwin Easley.

(And, if I might go off on a tangent here, I use the word debunker, not in its normal connotation, but as it has become applied to the rabid disbelievers in the UFO field. Debunker means someone who will not change his or her opinion about the possibility of UFOs regardless of the evidence, just as the true believer will accept anything and everything, regardless of the evidence. Debunkers and true believers are at opposite ends of the spectrum but are equally unwilling to examine evidence.)

Kalbert's latest rank is off target (what a surprise) because Randle defined what he meant. I guess Kalbert will now issue an apology to Randle.

I also noticed that someone here said that Kalbert is now a general. I said Randle was going to be promoted or had been promoted to lieutenant colonel. That came from Robert Hasting's book that says Randle will retire as a lieutenant colonel. No Kalbert
has to jump another rank.

BTW, you would address Randle appropriately as "Colonel..."

Anonymous said...

Two simple little words, Korff:

Stop f*&^ing lying.

Sorry...that's three.

Anonymous said...

Kal STILL OWES Kevin Randle apologies for the following:

1. Kal claimed the term flying saucer was never used in 1947. This alone proves how lacking Kal is in doing basic research.

2. Kal said there were no African-American sergeants stationed at Roswell. To no surprise at all, Kal got this one WRONG too.

3. Kal said that there was no front page story that could have been seen by Bill Brazel about his father. Kal is WRONG AGAIN and embarrassingly so since Paul Kimball was able to find a front page story with a single Google search!

4. Kal still owes Kevin Randle an apology for dodging their scheduled Roswell debate. This is the second time Kal has tucked his tail, turned, and ran away even though Kal is the one who called Kevin Randle a coward. Kal was provided two perfect opportunities to debate Kevin Randle and the chickenshit Kal is ran away.

Kal will call Kevin Randle a coward but Kal won't even keep his OWN WORD when he said he would apologize if he were wrong. No wonder Kal is treated like a joke because he is a joke.

WilsonSpaulding said...

Here's how I see Kal. He won a highschool science fair project when he was 14, got some publicity, and there ever after considered himself a kind of special genius. Kind of a child prodigy type that finds out he actually shot off the grand finale firework when he was in his teens and has tried to make up for it ever since.

No college education or degrees, faking or embellishing his resume to get jobs with large companies that eventually find out and then fire him, and writing books with text heavily lifted from other sources. Mommy thought him special and she still does, and probably finances his exploits.

The workaday world is too vanilla for him now and so he's always cooking up schemes to bring back the former glory days where everyone seemed to be saying his name and quoting his books. But he just can't seem to get it right again. So, we find him constantly pumping up his dubious accomplishments, inventing false titles and alter egos, and just generally trying to stir up controversy of some kind to get attention, ANY attention. For Kal to become obscure would be worse than the death sentence, and he just can't get himself to play by society's rules, so he's always coming out on the bottom and just can't seem to figure out why.

Meantime, he is a laughing stock of the very same rational audience he wants to appeal to. Also he is constantly trying to impress his own personal Supermodel, who can't bring herself to stomach this guy, but still wants to take advantage of him and his seeming American fame that could perhaps launch her own celebrity career of some sort. And on and on it goes, convolution on top of convolution. Will it every end? I don't think so, it's all Kal has ever known and he's become good at being "Kal", whatever that really is.

And so the strangely sad, always funny drama is played before our eyes on Youtube and internet blogs, more than anything confirming our own lives as not-so-crazy-afterall, and a determination to keep it that way.

Anonymous said...

That's it, the last comment nailed it.

Anonymous said...


Well done sir, well done.

Fuck Nut

Squonkamatic said...

Very very eloquently put. I wonder what that science fair ribbon was really for -- Kal K. Korff claims it was for designing an atomic bomb, no doubt the real explanation is more mundane (he was not the famed Atom Bomb Kid who designed a workable model in college, as the professor has claimed to have been). That he is still waving it around like a braggart and referring to this adolescent accomplishment as something important confirms William's conclusion. We all did things when we were 14 that got us youthful accolades, the difference being that the rest of us continued to evolve after that. I liked the line especially about how Kal K. Korff cannot help but to have earned & maintain the ridicule of those he strives to impress.

Anonymous said...

So how soon till Kal jumps all over the Atlantic Google earth 'discovery'?

F1 Racer

Anonymous said...


F1 Racer

Anonymous said...

Don't forget the giant 100 foot monster snake in Borneo! I read that story and said to myself, "This is the sort of thing that Korff would be into."

Anonymous said...

I'm losing interest... Please help! ;-)

Fuck Nut

Ed V. said...

Ever wondered how a S3 meeting headed by captain Korff goes along? Most likely it goes like this scene from Star Trek TNG.

Anonymous said...

Great youtube channel!

Brit_in_Prague said...

Could someone please re-post the Colonel's mailing address in Prague? I'd like to mail him a postcard.


Anonymous said...

The Great Billy Meier Debate.
Kal Korff vs. Michael Horn.

A month or more ago, Kal told Rob McConnell that he was 50% done with his half of the DVD. Last week, he said he was 80% done.
On checking with Michael Horn's 2 websites, there is no mention of any upcoming DVD debate. However, I found this to be interesting:
Rob McConnell, Host & Executive Producer,
The ‘X’ Zone Radio & TV Show,
reviews Michael Horn’s multi-media presentation and workshop at the Ontario Science Centre, Toronto.


Over the past several years I have had the opportunity to speak with Michael Horn on my radio show, The ‘X’ Zone, about the Billy Meier Case and when I learned that he was coming to Toronto to give his presentation at the Ontario Science Centre, I knew I had to go – and I am very glad that I did.

Michael is an excellent speaker who is very well connected to his audience, presenting his multi-media case for Billy Meier with professionalism, integrity and sincerity.

When Michael Horn is in your neighborhood presenting the Billy Meier Case, I would strongly recommend that you attend, and hear the story and view the proof that may very well make Billy Meier the prophet of the Century.

Knowledge is power, be forewarned.

Great job Michael!

Rob McConnell,

Host & Executive Producer,




Anonymous said...

The whole Billy Meier thing is complete bullshit. There never was a need to even debunk any of it, if you just look at the pictures Meier produced over the years you are stuck by only one thing: How absolutely fake it all looks. You have to be really hard up for something to believe in to refer to Billy Meier as a prophet.

Anonymous said...

So are Rob McConnell and Michael Horn setting up Kal? Why is Kal not calling Rob McConnell on the floor for allowing all the phonies he has as guests on his show? I guess the price for Kal's "integrity" is a one hour time slot on a radio show.

Anonymous said...



Kalvin K. Korff;

Has added a new Youtube video to his crappy ass site.


Fuck Nut

Anonymous said...

My God, that youtube channel was f'ing hilarious.

Anonymous said...

"Has added a new Youtube video to his crappy ass site."

Which video are you talking about? Pls supply details...

Anonymous said...



What I meant to say (to mean) is that Kalvin has "linked" to another youtube video, and again today.

Nothing Kalvin produced. No new comedy starring Kalvin, nothing like that.

Kalvin "has" upped his download total of his "book".

It's now at....




Fuck Nut

Brad Hudson said...

What Kal hasn't put on his site is a working version of Kal's Korner. Weren't we promised the amazing relaunch last Monday? Syndicated to "dozens of media outlets"?

How amazing that Kal has failed to deliver yet again...

I also can almost guarantee that if someone sends Mikey an email that he won't know what the hell you're talking about when you ask him about a "DVD Debate"....+

Anonymous said...

I did send Mikey an e-mail. He did indeed tell me that he was and is working with Kalvin on this project.

Nothing more.

Although he did tell me that he was a bit surprised that it was happening at all, considering their differing opinions.

Mikey gave me the impression that it would be some time before the project was completed.

Fuck Nut

Ed V. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ed V. said...

Mostlikely the prospect of $$$ keeps Horn and Korff working together, otherwise they are fierce adversaries.

Anonymous said...

They are both pure scum

Anonymous said...

Konniving Kal Korff's web site seems to "be" down...?

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Checked out the link in the previous post.

I have no knowledge of what Korff has against Jim Dilettoso. But I assume the issue is no more relevant or important as Kal's issues against all his sworn enemies.

I feel for you Jim - and don't worry about your credibility.

In fact, I would argue a person's credibility is actually improved when Kal singles that person out.

Brit_in_Prague said...


Not just a fantasist. Not just a common-or-garden loon. But a thoroughly nasty piece of work.

Brit_in_Prague said...

Various people I know were laid off recently because of the financial crisis.

So I'm warning you in advance, "Colonel": if I see you bigging yourself up through other people's misery - i.e. if I hear you saying "my heart goes out to these people, but we warned Allan Greenspan two years ago about da-de-da..." - I won't answer for the consequences.

Goddit? Nutjob?

Anonymous said...

Kalvin's Web Site Stats:

Jan. 24 = 48403584
Feb. 24 = 48457646

= 54062 total

30 days = 1802 each day.

That's some news portal...

Fuck Nut

I.Am.Kult.Of.Kal said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
I.Am.Kult.Of.Kal said...

You know, there is a spectrum of dimwittedness. Perhaps the spectrum goes something like this:

* Sharp as a tack
* No attention paid to detail
* Disregarding the obvious
* Completely oblivious

I see that Kal has (attempted to) post YouTube videos of US President Obama's speech. The videos are obviously someone else's effort, and that someone titled the speech segments very clearly, i.e. "Obama Speech to Congress Part 2/6"

How well do you think Kal used these titles to organize and post them on his website? Correct, not at all.

On the spectrum, Kal yet again, ranks [Completely Oblivious]. Here is what Kal did on his train-wreck of a website:

Barack Obama's Speech to Congress Part 4: [Speech to Congress Part 3/6]

Barack Obama's Speech to Congress Part 3: [Speech to Congress Part 2/6]

Barack Obama's Speech to Congress Part 2: [Speech to Congress Part 2/6]

Barack Obama's Speech to Congress Part 1: [Speech to Congress Part 1/6]

Dumbass errors:
1. He posts video part 2 (self-labeled as such) twice as Parts 2 & 3.

2. He posts video part 3 as Part 4.

3. There are no parts 4, 5, or 6 as a reasonable person would deduce from the other labeled videos (and the abrupt cut-off to the speech).

He really is an oblivious dumbass.
I posted on the Kult of Kal blog the same observation, plus a screenshot. Because we know how Kal loves to read our blogs as we catch his dumbass mistakes.

Anonymous said...

More Kalvin stats:

A total of 48457646 "page views" as of 02/24/2009

= about 1800 per day

How many days would it take to reach that total?

= 26, 920 days.

How many years would it take to reach that total?

= 73 years.

Even at, say, 4 times the visits per day, 7200, it would still take:

6730 days = 18 years.

Even if Kalvin would claim that this total is the GRAND TOTAL of his Total Research and Critical Thinkers web sites from day one, it doesn't add up because...

If we assume that his Total Research Group web site went up around 1995, the start of the mass available internet and web sites, give or take a year, this would assume the need for:

9000 hits per day at the least:

Making a total needed of = 14 years

To reach a total of:

48457646 as of 02/24/2009

Sorry Kalvin, the counter bots we have monitoring your site PROVE this to be NOT TRUE and another LIE.

Unless my math is wrong, “which” it might udderly be, although I think I’m close…

Fuck Nut

Anonymous said...

For supposedly being a hardcore Jew, it appears that Kal Korff isn't smart enough to know that Penn Jillette is a well known atheist. Each to their own as I say, but I wonder if Colonel Strap-on will berate Penn for being a nonbeliever?

Penn would take one look at Colonel Crackers and know how big of a twit Kal is.

Squonkamatic said...

I don't even believe the 1802 hits per day, and again refer to the views count totals on YouTube as a better estimation of how many unique visitors Kal K. Korff has on a given 24 hour period, which is about 30 per day given some of the views count totals of his YouTube video uploads back when he was so entertaining. A certain percentage of YouTube hits are in-site visitors bypassing Kal K. Korff's (I hate to use the word but it fits) websites -- most of whom are probably us Korffers monitoring his activity -- so if you figure he's getting 45 views of a new video in a roughly 24 hour period about 1/3 of those are us just watching on YouTube. That leaves 30 visitors accessing the videos through the professor's own web pages.

Proof of this conclusion lies in the cumulative total view counts of videos posted even a year ago. Let's take one as an example, one of my favorites this one here:

"Col. Kal Korff CONFIRMS Legal Action against Royce Myers III", where Kal K. Korff responds to a voice in his head asking him if he has indeed begun legal proceedings against Royce Meyers III, posted on July 27, 2007. That nothing has come of this ridiculous claim is not the point, though feel free to laugh along at home (and boy does Colonel Cupcake look pissed off & barely able to control his rage at being made a complete fool of by some regular Joe slob working a full time job, but I digress). The TOTAL views count for the video is 807 after about 18 months there posted in public for anyone to see. So in 730 days the video has been seen by 807 people, of which roughly 1/3 never even visited Kal K. Korff's web pages where presumably be would have embedded the video for his own web visitors to tut-tut and shake their heads in anger at along with him.

Remember also that YouTube records UNIQUE views only once based upon IP & computer identity, which means that a grand total of 807 people in total of the entire population of the world who have access to the internet and a computer capable of playing streaming videos from YouTube. Of that 807, about 30% would be watching without even accessing Kal K. Korff's website, but to be generous and make the demonstration easier we'll say 25% are watching via YouTube without risking their computer's integrities by going through Kal K. Korff's insecure and often hacked domains. We'll round down the 807 to 800, and minus 25% or 1/4 of total visitors we're left with roughly 600 unique views in 18 months generated by Kal K. Korff's web traffic, which is less than one unique view per day for those 730 days.

But I'll even be super generous and give Kal K. Korff an additional 10 to 12% of those total 807 views and round it up to 700 in total having been generated by unique viewers watching through his web page embed in the 730 days (give or take) since it was posted. As with the figures cited above it still doesn't make sense given that 1802 eager unique visitors are supposedly accessing Kal K. Korff's web domain.

As far as I can see it, three conclusions can be reached:

1) The vast majority of Kal K. Korff's regular website readers couldn't give a flying shit about his YouTube video postings let alone his retarded personal conflict/obsession with Royce Meyers III, and are instead flocking to his website for some other reason than those issues that are of such grave importance to Kal K. Korff.

2) He is artificially inflating his web counter's hit totals to make it look like he's getting respectable traffic to the tune of 1802 unique individuals visiting his website every day.

3) The reasoning I am employing here is seriously flawed and YouTube is lying about how many people have actually watched that jackass video.

I believe the actual truth is probably a combination of #s 1 and 2, since what else is there to DO at Kal K. Korff's websites except partake in his personal conflicts with various individuals and look at the YouTube embeds he provides? So either his visitors don't really care about the content he provides or he's inflating his own hit counts. In either event it demonstrates once again how this supposed computer whiz has no concept of how the internet really works and underestimated how using a public video sharing platform would undermine his claims of wildly unrestrained popularity.


Squonkamatic said...


There would be 730 days in a TWO year period, not 18 months, which would be more like 550 days, or something around 1.6 unique views per day for "Col. Kal Korff CONFIRMS Legal Action against Royce Myers III" since he posted it if it's been viewed 807 times. The reasoning still holds out, however: That doesn't account for 1802 breathlessly anxious and engaged visitors per day eagerly following Kal K. Korff's retarded personal conflict with Royce Meyers III.

Anonymous said...

>>> Squonkamatic said... <<<

You know what? I'm thinking your totals would be way more accurate, as Kalvin has no control of those numbers, as he does on his site.

Fun math project, never the less.

Come on Kamel Toe Kalvin! Release some more comedy for we Korffers to digest and then happy shit out the REAL truth all over your world.

Thanks Steven,

Fuck Nut

Anonymous said...

He, he, he! :-)

I love it when Kalvin reads this blog and then posts something to counter what we're writing about.

On with the math home-work!

From Kalvin's Lame Ass Site:


>>> It is also especially humbling to see how many people listen to the program after it is originally broadcast, both in re-runs and of course through iTunes, where more than 5,000 downloads EACH DAY for the show take place, and this number will only continue to grow.

Even at 5,000 downloads per day, that is still 150,000 downloads per month, and 12 x 150,000 is serious reach, exposure and penetration — it is a genuine "win-win" for all concerned, and for exposing the truth and getting people to talk about important issues. <<<

Well, let’s see...

Kalvin is listed as being on that show 9 times from 11/2008 to 2/2009.

All these pod casts are free, because no one will pay for the X Zone and it's contents, in any way.

There are NO reviews listed about the show on the shows iTunes page.

The X Zone is NOT listed in the Top 25 pod cast listing.

From iTunes:

>>> Tracking Usage.

Please note that iTunes does not provide usage statistics, because we do not host feeds or episodes.

Some pod casters have created mechanisms for tracking the number of times that each episode has been downloaded. iTunes does not provide support in how to track downloads... <<<

I suppose Rob had someone, other than Kal, set this up and then he told Kal what the totals are?

In any event, a user of iTunes CAN NOT confirm Kalvin's claim of 5000 downloads per day. Gee, where have we heard this type of claim being blasted out of Kalvin's ass before?

Fucking fuck wad is at it again. Making claims which cannot be confirmed in any easy or real way.

Hey Rob!

Tell us PLEASE, how many downloads are you getting per day?

And while you're at it, what were those results concerning the nanobot "dust" Kalvin sent you?

Once again Kalvin "The Toad" K. Korff, you've been found out.

You can't hide little man.

Fuck Nut

Squonkamatic said...

LMAO 5,000 downloads per day. The laughs just keep right on coming! And yet another example of how Kal K. Korff has no idea how the internet really works & how it slips him up on his own lies and exaggerations time after time after time. Some computer tech whiz.

Anonymous said...

It's like watching professional wrestling where one of the participants thinks it's real while everyone else is in on the joke.

Or like having our own little reality TV show where the star thinks the whole world is watching but it's really only a few who only watch for comic relief.

I have a question: Kal speaks and presents himself like there's a bunch of followers out there that really adore him. But with hits on his Youtube videos only numbering in the tens after being posted for months ( and those being us who enjoy it for different reasons than he thinks), is there actually ANY kind of following out there? Is there a little old man or lady who really thinks this guy is sliced bread?

I.Am.Kult.Of.Kal said...

"It's like watching professional wrestling where one of the participants thinks it's real while everyone else is in on the joke."

--damn, that made me laugh out loud this morning. Thanks!

Squonkamatic said...

Kal speaks and presents himself like there's a bunch of followers out there that really adore him. But with hits on his Youtube videos only numbering in the tens after being posted for months ( and those being us who enjoy it for different reasons than he thinks), is there actually ANY kind of following out there?

I've thought about this too, and the answer is probably that there used to be & he squandered the opportunity with these ridiculous personal conflicts. If you look at his first "KalsKornerOnline" YouTube postings a couple of them like the "Kal Korff Gets Buzzed" postings do have respectable view counts. My thinking is that these were Czech viewers who were intrigued by the Kal's Korner material when it first appeared. Goofy, self-centered and filled with errors as it was, the material was probably different enough to have a certain novelty to it and had an appeal that had little to do with the professor's work in the paranormal dipshit areas with which he is typically associated. The first of those videos has 22,372 views as of today, which is probably one of the statistics where Colonel Kumquat based his claim of Kal's Korner Online being "wildly popular". For a while at least he had a buzz about him.

He only followed it up with one other video of him getting this haircut, which when you think about it is more typical of the kind of content users usually post on YouTube than what would be Kal K. Korff's standard YouTube material. Once he strayed from the more human content into the twaddle centering around his SecretXWars personal conflict videos, the viewership declined dramatically to the point where there's no real indication of interest beyond a few die hard cultists and critics like ourselves. My thinking is that once he showed his true colors the casual viewers who may have been following him via the Kal's Korner writings very quickly realized that something was amiss and turned to other more pleasant things to occupy their time. The catch being of course that Kal K. Korff won't admit it to himself that he blew it, and that the Kal's Korner following did not accompany him into his Secret X Wars period.

Which makes sense: Who the holy hell wants to watch some middle aged man whine on like a spoiled little bratty bitch about negative crap that nobody else cares about? Kal K. Korff's personal conflicts with Meyers, Randle, Biedney, Kimball, Francis, Brad and whomever have nothing to do with anybody else but him. And those targets of his psychotic wrath even stopped caring about it once they realized that they were just serving as talking point references for the professor's diatribes of hatred, jealousy and immature self preoccupation. There ceased to be new information after a while and Kal K. Korff was literally using YouTube as a platform to rail against these and other individuals. The catch being that NOBODY CARES!!

This is one of the examples of how poorly Kal K. Korff understands the internet & how people use it. Most of us do NOT use the internet to get embroiled in petty personal conflicts, let alone the petty personal conflicts of others. I used to be very active in online gaming and sure, there are smack talking punks a'plenty out there who can think of nothing better to do with their time than go online and get into arguments with people they don't know & will never meet. But that's a singular activity, you can't cultivate a social scene based on one's inability to get along respectfully with others. Once Kal K. Korff started using both his websites and YouTube as a platform on which he spouted his jealousy & hatred of anybody and everybody, people stopped paying attention.

Those who may have initially been sympathetic or intrigued very quickly found themselves with a bad taste in their mouths, and then the word started to spread amongst that base of followers that something wasn't right. Then the absurd & disturbing claims started to pile up, coupled by unrestrained negativity and presto, now he's lucky to see 200 or more views on a video posting from a year ago. People get turned off by the negativity and even though he'd never admit it, Kal K. Korff's entire rap is totally based on negative interactions with people. There may be initial fleeting hints of cooperation with certain individuals -- Wojtek Sadlacek, MacZone, Martina Tycova, Michaela Kocis, Greg Long -- but very quickly it seems these relationships sour and the personal conflicts take over as his true colors are revealed.

Those of us in the know may find it entertaining but for everyday casual web users it's DISGUSTING to see someone sit there and bitch & moan about bullshit that they don't care about. There's no positive content, and if people aren't having fun they very quickly become detached and stop paying attention. One thing is for sure however, you're not going to hear Kal K. Korff admit that the 22,372 people who watched him get a haircut have stopped paying attention to him, and as the person asking the lead in question surmises as far as Kal K. Korff is concerned they are still following along at home, eagerly awaiting each new development. If the web hit numbers don't add up he'll just manipulate them to have it seem on the surface that not only are these people following, the numbers are growing astronomically to the tune of 5,000 people EVERY DAY (!!) downloading his X-Zone radio appearances as a podcast, even though as Fuck Nut correctly points out there are no such statistics available from iTunes to back it up.

Hell Kal, why stop at 5,000/day? Why not claim 15,000 downloads per day? Why not say you're getting more web traffic than Drudge Report? Why not say that the entire fucking civilized world revolves around you and your god damn idiotic insane web presence? As far as he is concerned IT DOES, because he's completely crazy and completely full of shit. Kal K. Korff is absolutely certifiably insane, or he has a personality disorder or is a pathological liar -- however you want to phrase it. He's got Munchhausen Syndrome or whatever it's called. The guy is a fucking dingbat lunatic, unleashed on the internet and even Michael Jackson has never known such popularity and overwhelming support. The entire internet exists to be a platform for Kal K. Korff to go online and have the world rejoice with gladness with him as he stews in some snake pit of insanity.

That's why he's in Czech Republic: We have no extradition treaty with them and those people who want to intervene and get him the psychiatric care he needs can't touch him there. He found the one place in the civilized world other than Cambodia where he can do whatever the fuck he wants and nobody can touch him, and the food is probably better too. Plus lots of round eyed college aged women for him to stalk and terrorize with his madness, which is amply evident in that pathetic, depressing video of him discussing his obsession with Judaism with himself with that fucking Saddam Hussein beard.

He's completely fucked in the head and as far as he's concerned the whole world is following along at home in eager, breathless fascination. If the real numbers aren't there to show it he'll just manipulate the hit counters or make up some statistic that can't be proven or disproven. He is SUCH a total fucking idiot ...

Squonkamatic said...

Actually, I confused Munchausen Syndrome with Pseudologia fantastica, though I genuinely do believe that Kal K. Korff is delusional rather than just a compulsive liar who cannot control his behavior.

Anonymous said...

Great answer and insight! And you know what's really beautiful about it? Any truthful perspective we present will have absolutely no effect on the man's efforts so we'll have our own little reality show entertainment for years to come! I'd feel sorry for the guy but for the fact that he's intelligent enough to know exactly what he's doing and if he wants to play a jerk for all the world to see, have at it Kal! I get some of my best laughs from his semi-well-put-together self delusions!

Anonymous said...

>>> he'll just manipulate the hit counters or make up some statistic that can't be proven or disproven. He is SUCH a total fucking idiot ... <<<

Wow! What a post!

Kalvin? We don't HATE you; we are entertained by you and your antics and your self-serving ways.

The current thinking seems to be...

You know what you’re doing but you can’t stop, even though whatever fan base you may have once had has now scurried out of the building, not because you yelled “Fire” at the top of you lungs. Nope.


You're trying to capture that flash of fame again, 15 plus years later, but you're finding it quite elusive.

You clasp your hands around this idea and that idea only to open those hands and find, nothing of substance.

Kalvin; "What to do, what to do?" "I know, I'll move away from the public that knows me, I'll make claims that cannot be verified and I'll bash people nobody cares about!"


No, your fan base has run away because you’re a negative little shit, and your personal attacks on people, 99.9% of the world no nothing about, comes off “so” "udderly" childish.

Kalvin? Possibly a web site which just highlighted what you perceive to be falsehoods, lies, whatever, from the many UFO books, films and documents out there, laying a good foundation to the work, might have been a better direction than say, calling people out, huffing and puffing and tilting at windmills...

Your current actions have been all for not, and at the cost of your past, albeit minor, fame.

Kalvin? Do you REALLY think the average person wants to hear you threaten people at their place of work?

It’s in very poor taste and a bad move, but with the down turn of the world economy, it turns off even the homeless, who have no internet access anyway! Funny, I know!

Really Kalvin, it comes off like so much sour milk...

Over the fact that a NOBODY took you out of a UFO Hall of Fame on an archived web site AND that he didn’t agree with your stance regarding your criminal brother?

Kalvin can you hear me?

Oh my, you have become quite delusional, haven’t you?

As you have found, and it must be a HUGE disappointment to you Kalvin, RMIII will not respond to you. No one but we Korffers will respond to you.

It’s over Johnny. Even the youtube generation have grown tired of your blather.

Kalvin, you must now do something so amazing or so outlandish to bring back the fold, that I’m truly frightened you may do yourself or other irrevocable harm...

How else can you get your “worth” back?


Go find the real Atlantis.

Step back and start posting positive material.

Make a “new” name for yourself, based on positive, real-world research without the inflated numbers and claims.

Or just go away...

Ha! I kid, I kid!!! I’m loving those Kalvin videos way too much!

Keep it up buddy!

Amazing post Squonkamatic!

Fuck Nut

Anonymous said...

>>> to continue to be featured each week on Rob's Number #1 hit show. <<<

Where is this X Zone show rated #1?

Brad Hudson said...

Wanted to share with you guys a little recent email exchange.

First, my initial email to the Kolonel:

Wow, Kal, you've outdone yourself today. I don't even know where to
> begin dissecting the rant you've gone off on, but let me try:
> 1. What the hell does Don Ecker have to do with anything? He used
> to own UFO, now he doesn't. He's not selling anything, so why does he
> matter?
> 2. Kevin Randle, again. You need to get over this one. Randle will
> have more credibility than you until the end of time (and I don't
> believe everything he prints, either). Plus, you know there's a
> difference between slander and libel, right? Because judging by your
> site, I don't think you do.
> 3. Stanton Friedman. Ask for my money back? Really?? Mr. Friedman
> has done more to advance the study of UFO's than anyone else
> currently alive. I think I'll take the word of a nuclear physicist
> over a non-college educated ex-pat any day. I think we also need to
> point out that you were once Mr. Friedman's protege and now he has
> distanced from you so far that it would take light at least 10 years
> to get to him. He (along with Phillip Mantle) pretty much describe
> you as someone who can't be believed on any topic.
> 4. Paul Kimball. You know he's distanced from Stan Friedman,
> right? And that he's publicly disavowed any belief in the ET
> Hypothesis. Oh, wait, he's put together a movie about you. That's
> why you're so desperate to trash him. And that's why I'm so
> desperate to see the finished project. Did you not realize someone
> was trailing you around town with a camera? And you call yourself an
> intelligence officer?????
> 5. Royce Myers III. He hasn't done anything with that site in
> years. Why are you so up in arms over it? Does it mean that much to
> you? And don't give me any consumer crap, either. Royce doesn't
> sell anything, so how could I be a "consumer" of his product?
> (Notice that I used quotes correctly, something you still need to
> work on). Or is it because he said your brother would be guilty? He
> was guilty of assault, was he not? And he is in prison? Just checking.
> Kal, you really are nothing more than an enormous joke. Just last
> year you claimed you were going back to the USA to work on your
> brother's trial. That didn't happen. You said you had signed a 5
> year contract with Voijtek, and we all know how that little escapade
> ended up. then it was F1 racer being arrested, deported, having his
> YouTube account suspended. How much of that happened? Zero, mi amigo!
> You need to get a job and leave all this behind. You are so bitter
> that those of us who dabble in Korff-dom don't need any help in
> making you look like an ass. You do all the work for us.
> Best wishes on your final meltdown,
> Brad

Kal's reply to follow

Brad Hudson said...

Now, Kal's response. Bear in mind I had 5 points in my original email. Kal apparently didn't keep that in mind...

Dear Brad Hudson,

Thanks for writing, let me now respond to your various points.

1. Thanks for "thinking" for me and "telling me" HOW I feel. Problem Brad: I
helped write that piece, but am NOT the piece's sole author. But you would
not know this, because you didn't bother checking. I assume you know that
you do NOT "think" nor "speak" for me, so you might as well stop trying.

2. I NEVER said Royce has done anything with his web site recently, did I?

Instead, YOU did. You ca ask yourself why you lie about this, it is not my

I also did not largely write that part. The FACT remains that a thorough
systematic expose of Royce has YET to be done. I am NOT doing it, others
are. I care not what you "believe".

3. You say I was a "prodigy" of Friedman?

Since you were NOT there, you CANNOT say I was.

For the record, I NEVER was, in fact in at least ONE of the articles that
showed Friedman and I together, you can clearly see me frown and stare at
him right after he made the "certain prediction" that the Space Shuttle
would "bring down the UFOs."

My comment was "Do you REALLY think so?" and of course this has proved NOT
to be true.

4. You say that Friedman has done "more" for the "study of UFOs" than anyone
else has. I respectfully DISAGREE. Brad Sparks kicks Friedman's ass
sideways, and 24 hours a day.

Let's "review" Friedman's track record:

A. He endorses MJ-12. Despite the FACT it is a hoax. He has NEVER come clean
about this.
B. He "endorses" the infamous Rex Heflin photos from Santa Ana, California,
in 1965. These photos show a TRAIN wheel.
C. He "endorses" the Trindade Island photos from Brazil in 1957 which ARE
D. He "endorsed" in his movie UFOs Are Real, the Santa Catalina "UFO" film
of 1966, which shows a CESSNA Airplane.
E. He "endorses" the Betty and Barney Hill "star map" — DESPITE THE FACT
Atterburg's "star map" is a BETTER match. The FACT that more than one
"candidate" exists, PROVES and REDUCES the Hill case to "just another
F. Friedman "endorses" Roswell — enough said.
G. Friedman "endorses" the Cutler-Twining Memo, deliberately and selctively
quotes from it, FAILED to "understand" that it was a HOAX and FRAUD and does
NOT say what he claimed it said.
H. I (Kal Korff) have SEEN a "UFO" — Friedman has NOT.
I. Try to find "alien worlds" in the star system of Zeta Reticuli, etc., and
the other stars in the Hill map. THEY ARE NOT THERE! FACT! So WHERE is "ET"
hiding out? On a death star which cannot be tracked by red shift light
studies nor Hubble? Yeah, right.
J. He "endorses" the NSA "UFO" memo, which has since been declassified — it
does NOT prove any such thing. Friedman was wrong, and NEVER had the right
to "profess to know" what content was in those redacted portions. Instead,
he projected his ideas into it, just like MJ-12.

5. Paul Kimball has NOT FULLY "COME CLEAN" about his Uncle Stan — it would
cause more disruptions in the family. Instead, he has done DAMAGE CONTROL
and "spin" which is very different. The key word is FULLY, but you MISSED

You have NO "excuse" — your "open mind" is ALREADY made up!

6. Kimball quotes Brad Sparks over the Rb-47 case, never holds Randle
accountable, Sparks says RB-47 case involves "real aliens" or NOW
Paul says he doesn;t buy this 'explanation" for UFOs? What a hypocrite.
Can't have it BOTH ways, but Paul does. And of course Paul (like Stan) will
still take your money. FACT. If I endorsed a FRAUD and as THE MAIN PROPONENT

7. We predicted YEARS AGO Paul would eventually produce a video "hit piece"
on me. Accordingly, we filmed TWO YEARS AGO interviews about this. We will
air them AFTER Paul strikes first. Our whole strategy to expose Paul, is
based on him behaving like the "Little Big Man, Gotta Get You Back" syndrome
we say he DOES suffer from. We will not and cannot release anything until
Paul "fires first." It also fits perfectly into my thesis on human psychoses
and biases. UFOOLogy is a perfect study lab for people's foibles, just like
Islamofascists are.

Honestly, I do NOT care about Kimball. The exposes of him are largely
ALREADY done, (thanks to Martina) and since Paul has NEVER had the ethics,
morals nor decency to contact me directly, (that makes him certainly NOT a
journalist) that's Paul KimBULL for you, as his nickname is, most

8. Randle - Yes, Randle both says and writes that law enforcement and
military personnel have threatened to kill Roswell eyewitnesses. I notice
pointing this out and trying to do so. Writing and saying it IS both libel
and slander, look it up.

9. You FAIL to mention that Royce ONLY "retired" AFTER he started to get
exposed, gee, how honorable of Royce, who to this day, remains a coward who
won't admit he blew with both of his lips, the forensics in my brother's
shooting. You can read them yourself, unless you think Billy Meier hoaxed

Royce promised in writing to "gladly eat crow" if he was wrong. FACT: he IS
wrong, unless you think the forensic scientists are liars or incompetent.
But notice Royce remains "retired" and ONLY has time to send a bogus
newspaper article about me to (surprise!) his "good buddy" David Biedny.
Most people send bogus articles to their proxies to attack others, it is the
Number #1 hobby of most "retirees" — isn't it?

ASK BRAD SPARKS YOURSELF — the SJMN article IS BOGUS, please do NOT take my
word for it. Brad is in the article, and the article shows me "wearing
glasses" — I have never worn them in my life. Congratulations, Mr. Hudson!

10. I am not "bitter" over anything. I also hate NO ONE, not even Bin Laden.
QUIT trying to "tell me" how I feel. The FACT you DO, is YOUR problem.

11. You CONfuse "bitterness" with your OWN emotional projections. The next
time you decide to TELL ME HOW I "feel" — ASK ME FIRST!

12. Get a real job or words to that effect. I have always had at least one,
but you wouldn't know this, and I don't respond to comments like this,
because I do not need to. They are YOUR problem.

13. "Meltdown" — in your dreams I guess, since no such thing is taking
place. But yes, people like YOU DO "judge" others, — I prefer to leave that
"job" to God. You also project things onto me, I am not that way, and i
won't defend your behavior on this, because there is NO "defense."

14. As we have made clear, Martina and others who use and post on this site,
the exposes WILL stop when they are complete. In the interim there are far
more important things to do — if people "criticize" me for focusing instead
on nailing the rogue officers who are now the subject of a U.S. Federal
Lawsuit for wrongly shooting my brother over having Randle audited at a time
and date of MY choosing — well, while we all have different priorities, I
will NOT "apologize" for putting an illegal shooting case (regardless of who
is involved) before either NON-existent Little Grey Men, or "Bigfoot."

When you claim that Friedman has "advanced" the study of UFOs more than any
other person, since there is NO EVIDENCE of Little Grey Men, -- exactly WHAT
has he "advanced"? The answer is his BANK ACCOUNT. Friedman admitted to me
and others YEARS ago that he only got "into" UFOs because the market was
dying for Nuclear "Physicists" — despite the fact he is an Engineer.

THANKS to Friedman, the MYTHS of Roswell and especially MJ-12 are now
entrenched in our society. Gee, that's "science" for you, and GREAT
"PROGRESS" — isn't it?

Obviously, I have known Friedman for decades. I was bothered in 1975 when I
first met him and he was clearly and PASSIONATELY jealous and always
attacked Dr. J. Allen Hynek, who I also knew VERY well and spent much time

But you wouldn't know this, that HYNEK, NOT FRIEDMAN, WAS MY REAL "hero" —
ask Friedman yourself, AFTER he moved to Canada I never had contact with him
until later when I exposed him in my Roswell book. FACT. Whereas with Hynek,
I saw and stayed in touch with him up to near his death, and STOPPED the
Meier people from exploiting him for MONEY after he started to lose his
mental facilities thanks to brain cancer. Same with the Lorenzens, Brad
people as well. I saw Coral Lorenzen before she died, when she needed oxygen
to survive and was wheelchair bound. I fed her and took care of her for a
weekend, Mr. Hudson, and also Jim Lorenzen.

The photos we took together appear on the cover of the new Meier debate

So much for your "expertise" on these issues.

But you wouldn't know any of this, just like you may NOT know how I appear
in the notes of the expose on MJ-12. Look my name up in the expose Sparks
and Greenwood did, which I notice you do NOT refute.

Because you CANNOT. You also don't hold Friedman accountable, your mind is
ALREADY made up. If I blew MJ-12, you would "crucify" me.

My best advice to you is to STOP trying to "think" for me and "tell me" what
I either stand for, or believe. I can and DO "speak" for myself.

And about Paul Kimball, yes, a man who now hunts "ghosts" — gee, THAT's
"credibility" for you.


Get a clue, will ya?

In the vague chance that you might actually LEARN something, just like
Randle does NOT use nor know the definition of "Debunker" properly (and
notice that Paul Kimball did not interrupt Randle nor correct him, because
he is also wrong and doesn't know what the word "debunker" means, like most
UFO nuts) I have pasted below the Oxford Dictionary definition for the word
"rant" — notice it does NOT mean what YOU claim.

But then again, anyone who cites the "logic" that you do, I would never
expect them to know the different between a "rant" versus pointing out BLUNT
FACTS. I do not mince words, as you know.

You seem to be "drunk" on the pro-ET "LGM" kook-aid. You may wish to stop
drinking it, your choice.

"Final meltdown?"

Whatever, Mr. All-knowing, Judgmental person. Maybe you confused me with the
song "Final Countdown" — at least THAT is understandable.

For the record, it does NOT "bother" me if UFO CONspiracy or JFK CONspiracy
or Bigfoot "believers" do not think I am "credible" — I desire NONE of them
as "friends" and I do not subscribe to their uneven lack of standards and
quite often, lack of morals.

Instead, I prefer to expose them for what they are.

PROTECT PEOPLE FROM THESE PREDATORS who are merely agenda-driven

15. Regarding Vojtek, we have video of us signing the agreement, etc., which
Vojtek participated in because we did intend to work together. But I (Kal)
and three others changed our minds. We have many hours of video we WILL air
several months from now, about what we REALLY did with Vojtek. Martina has
ALL of this footage and she will release it as she sees fit, since she also
worked with me with Vojtek, as did my Adjutant. Martina is in these videos a

16. Regarding F1 racer, sorry I cannot talk about Mr. Underwood right now. I
will not "explain" WHY, I don't have to and I "owe" you nothing on this.
Just like I do not have to "explain" to you, especially, if I decide NOT to
work with someone.

17. Who dies and made YOU "King"?

18. The fact you would quote or cite a person (F1) who calls others a
pedophile or jew hater, claims I have images of Hitler in my living room,
and other such "intellectual" things says ALL I need to know about YOU.

You keep and cite some rather hate-filled friends.

rant |rant|
verb [ intrans. ]
speak or shout at length in a wild, impassioned way : she was still ranting
on about the unfairness of it all.
a spell of ranting; a tirade : his rants against organized religion.
rant and rave shout and complain angrily and at length.
ranter |ˈrøn(t)ər| |ˈrantə| noun
rantingly |ˈrøn(t)ɪŋli| adverb
ORIGIN late 16th cent. (in the sense [behave in a boisterous way] ): from
Dutch ranten 'talk nonsense, rave.'



Next, my reply!

Brad Hudson said...

My reply to that insanity...

Wow. I had no idea I had made that many points.

Wait, I didn't, but I'll be glad to go through them.

1. You didn't write it all. Right. Have the author come forward.

2. No, but you act as if the site is, in fact, still active. Additionally, if you are aware of the state of the site isn't it somewhat disingenuous of you to compare it to your site, an active one? Not mentioning the site has not been updated for some time certainly might lead readers to believe you are being actively wronged rather than the truth that RMIII removed you from his HoF and added the always witty "Kan 'o Korff" section (one of the modern classics, I assure you).

3. No, Kal, I said you were his protege, not prodigy. Dear God, learn to read. And, yes, you did begin with Friedman, did you not?

4. Brad Sparks is a fine researcher, but I still defer to Friedman. (Let it go, Kal, we can back and forth all day. BTW, MUFON isn't too happy about the hotlink.). Brad's MJ12 rebuttal is compelling, but I still go with Friedman on this (and, no, Brad didn't prove the docs are hoaxed, nor does he say that in his conclusion. He says he feels they are fraudulent. That ain't proof, tubby).

Your other Friedman lines are tired rhetoric.

5. Paul Kimball has consistently stated he has problems with his uncle's work. Anything beyond that is obviously something you want but won't get.

6. Actually, Brad says that the case involves real radar signals. His own conclusions (in the document you linked to) are that he sees no evidence fully supporting the ETH, so, no, Brad doesn't say definitely that aliens were the cause of the signals in the RB-47 case

(Wow, I was pretty sure I only had 5 points in my email. How you got 18 is beyond me)

7. Care to share the date code on that tape? Hmm, I don't believe you Kal. Odd, huh? Of course, not believing you puts me in pretty good company these days. Prove you have 2 year old tape, Kal. You can't, but you'll just bellow "I don't have to". Have you ever read "A Confederacy of Dunces"? Fabulous book. You are a modern Ignatius Reilly, for sure.

8. No, actually Randle states that witnesses were threatened at the time. That is entirely believable for the time and in no way libels any current military officer.

9. Kal, RMII retired and then you started tilting at his windmill. What "expose" are you talking about?? Your crusade because he happens to think you're full of shit?? Hardly a groundswell of backlash. As for the article you mention, the author stands by it and has stated you did not ask for a contraction when it was printed. Sorry, Kal, again I'm going to have to take the writer's version here, mostly because he's never BS'd me before.

10. (This is boring) You could have fooled me as you seem awfully bitter over the fact that RMIII called a spade a spade. And I never mentioned once the word hate. You inserted that (as you are prone to do. I see how "involved you were in Brad's MJ12 piece. You were in the room for a CONVERSATION! Do you want a cookie for that? You did nothing but act as a witness that, yes, this conversation did happen. Helluva research job, pardner).

11. Just see the above statement. Normally, Kal, you would only number different trains of thought.

12. No, Kal , I said "Get a job", you added the "real" modifier. What actual job have you held in the last 12 months? None that I can see.

13. Don't defend me. I wouldn't want you on my side. BTW, your writings do indicate someone on the edge of a mental breakdown. Just my educated opinion (and my opinion is educated in these matters)

14. OK, you're kind of all over the place here. I'm pretty sure I never mentioned Hynek or the Randle audit (which you claimed in a video to be "dropping off", another of your lies). I'll just skip ahead.

15. What you really did with Voijtek was to be hired to teach English on a freelance basis and then leveraged that into receiving goods from a local Apple seller. That's what is in the public record. These "hours of video" will never surface, so don't bother talking about things you don't have.

16. Hmm, perhaps you can't talk about it because there's nothing to talk about. If you were seriously trying to stop him you would have already filed suit overt his site where he actively libels you on a regular basis. You won't because you know you'll get torched in court when the house of cards that is your web of lies (wow, two metaphors!) will come crashing down as courts require more proof than a couple of yellowed newspapers and an old science fair ribbon.

17. I think you meant "died" here, and I don't ever remember claiming a throne anywhere. Nope, I've never once claimed to be a King, Duke, or any other royalty.

18. No, that would make you a bigot for judging me by something as facetious as that.

Kal, your long winded reply failed to do one thing: answer the more salient points in my email and, just like your past email to me you have dodged the bigger issues.

Brad Hudson

PS - I forgot to ask: it's OK for you to rail on Randle via the dictionary but when Paul Kimball uses 3 of them to refute your nonsense it's not OK?? Oops, forgot who I was writing to. Double Standard Kal.

After this Kal sent me an email claiming he would reply to my points in full at a later time.

I guess it will be sometime after the audit of Randle's work gets done....

Anonymous said...

>> You FAIL to mention that Royce ONLY "retired" AFTER he started to get exposed <<<

Lie. RMIII quit the UFO deal on at least one other occasion, LONG before Kalvin got back into "it."

Check the date you fucking wind bag.

Fucking Korff.

Many people quit the UFO deal when they learn that's it's mostly, a bunch of bullshit.

Kalvin? You had a "little" to do with RMIII quitting, yes. He got burnt out on fighting with Sean David Morton, Dr. Reed and YOU.

Kalvin quit for many years as well, to fight crime. Ha!

Fuck Nut

Anonymous said...

Kalvin WILL NOT answer your questions.

Said the same thing to me, over many months ago.



Because the answers would hurt too much, if honest, and add too much, if lies, to his ever growing filing cabinet of outright lies.

That's why...

Fuck Nut

Squonkamatic said...


Wow. Muddafukka's crazy. Insightful exchange, though as the others point out he didn't answer a single question and employed circular reasoning to raise questions about others rather than explain his own behavior.

" It also fits perfectly into my thesis on human psychoses
and biases. UFOOLogy is a perfect study lab for people's foibles, just like
Islamofascists are."

There he goes with the thesis again. What is this thesis?? Thesis as in thesis statement, like for an essay, or thesis as in earned credits project for some sort of post graduate degree? Since there's no way he'd be working on a post graduate degree without being a graduate of anything we must infer that he means the former, and that he's just talking shit. Same goes for this unseen expose footage of whatever; until it's been made public in a manner that can be independently verified it may as well not even exist. He's completely full of shit.

Anonymous said...

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the diagnostic classification system used in the United States, as "a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy." [1]

The narcissist is described as turning inward for gratification rather than depending on others and as being excessively preoccupied with issues of personal adequacy, power and prestige.[2] Narcissistic personality disorder is closely linked to self-centeredness.

Remind anybody of someone?

Brad Hudson said...

One thing I've noticed with Kal: when someone disagrees with him or calls him on his BS, it's immediately put down as "hate" and it's a "hate crime" because of his "Jewish heritage".

Much as Jerry thought that his dentist merely converted to Judaism "for the jokes", Kal's "conversion" (that he has never provided even a sliver of evidence for) was to enable him to seek refuge behind it to paint his attackers as anti-semites.

I'd dare say he'll be going downstairs in the afterlife for falsely claiming to be one of God's Chosen People.

Anonymous said...

"But Father, he converted for the Jokes!?!"

Love that show.

Giddy Up...

Fuck Nut

Anonymous said...

Thats the first time I ever seen Kal refer to me by my actual name and not my handle!

F1 Racer

Paul Kimball said...


Hilarious stuff. The best part about the Korff film is still to come... soon, however - in April.

I find it amusing, though, that Korff has predicted that I would make a film (er... "hit piece") about him for two years now, and that he's been waiting, and taken steps, or whatever. Just remember that he said that.



Anonymous said...

>>> PROTECT PEOPLE FROM THESE PREDATORS who are merely agenda-driven personalities. <<<


Anyone care to take this one?

Fuck Nut

Brad Hudson said...

Paul -

Hope you didn't mind my version of your feelings about Stan's work.

I am so looking forward to the film. In addition to Kal BS'ing about making his own film, I do so enjoy how he states that you have "Little man gotta' get you back" syndrome (which, I assume, is Kal's version of a Napoleon Complex) when Kal is on video asking two rally drivers in Prague to "step down a step or 2" so he'll appear to be their height. Seems to me Kal is the one with some feelings of inadequacy about his height (plus from your vids you appear about 6', at least).


Anonymous said...

To digress momentarilly, since time is of the essence.
Did you notice that Kal's website today put in a big plug for the X-zone radio show?
Did you also notice that Kal was NOT put on this week's schedule?
Anyone getting the drift of that?


Paul Kimball said...



As for Korff, his claims are laughable. In the meantime, as you noted, a super-secret agent should have noticed the camera crew of my Czech co-production partners... or perhaps should have been able to ferret out the "mole" in Korff's group who was more than happy to give us whatever we needed... or... well, you get the drift.

But as he said, he knew all along that I was going to do this, so he's ready to fire back. The difference is that I'll be hitting him on network TV, while he'll be firing back on YouTube.

Incidentally, another of Korff's past "enemies", my good friend Mac Tonnies, has been involved in the production from the get-go.


Ed V. said...

Geesh, I was reading that correspondence between Brad and Kal, and the first thing that came to mind when I read Kal's reply was; 'what frequency is this guy on?'. Brad's comments and questions were crystal clear but Korff manages to totally warp the essence of Brad's post. What a weird character.

Anonymous said...

"Kalvin, What's the Frequency?"

Anonymous said...

The more I look at that photo with Kalvin in the white head wrap with the WWW on the top, and that beard, and that super, duper white face, it's just so funny!

Man, oh man.

Kalvin? Thank you for providing us with so much comedy during the hard times.

Fuck Nut