Saturday, August 20, 2016

Begging and Bragging for Clicks

Kalvin Korff Dye #5


Anonymous said...

Korff just can't stop being an attention whore.


W. T. F. Capslock warning. This will get silly.

1) I AM REALLY REALLY SCARED by Kal's super serious consequence filled WARNING NOT TO DOWNLOAD SAVE AND RE-EDIT HIS VIDEO or WE MIGHT GET REPORTED TO THE FBI FOR -- oh man i am so scared -- AN INVESTIGATION!!!!! NOOOOOO ANYTHING BUT THAT KAL. OH WOW he has stopped playing Mr. Nice Guy. REPORTED FOR AN INVESTIGATION! It will be months before I can sleep soundly again for worry of BEING REPORTED FOR AN INVESTIGATION. Holy fuck I need to change my shorts, I am so scared of BEING REPORTED FOR AN INVESTIGATION that I had a little accident. GUYS I AM REALLY SCARED AND WORRIED ABOUT THIS It could be the end of Korffing as we know it or we will SUFFER by BEING REPORTED FOR AN INVESTIGATION!

That the FBI has limited jurisdiction in India and in fact it would be INDIAN AUTHORITIES any transgressions *should* be reported to since the servers (or "web hosters" as Kal calls them) are located in India. Although from evidence of the eyes Kal does't care about India and regards the people who reside there as not worth his professional attention beyond public fawning over the females who have not rejected his attention out of complete unbridled disgust of having at being used by someone of Kal's ilk for unwholesome purposes, the extent to which is likely not yet revealed. Ick.

Seriously, nobody should ever let Kal write his own super-serious stuff because it will always end up coming off as udderly amaturish in nature. Because he is. And for that matter:

2) WHO WOULD WATCH KAL K. KORFF READ THE "NEWS" ON YOUTUBE VIDEOS LET ALONE ACTUAL "TELEVISION" AND WHY WOULD THEY WATCH IT. Seriously, did anyone at Daily World consider this before allowing an obviously mentally retarded person to start fucking with their brand? Why would *ANYONE* anywhere on the planet -- India, the US, Antarctica -- NEED to watch Kalvin K. Karlton Korff blubber, sweat, swallow, and mouth-breathe his way through "news reports" when there are sooooooooooooo many others who have been TRAINED in the specific delivery patterns of a news broadcaster and read it for established legitimate news outlets. There is no reason for anyone to need to have their news presented to them by Kal Korff. He does not have the looks for a news presented -- MOST ARE ATTRACTIVE or at least decent-looking and the majority these days are female for the simple reason that people pay attention to female voices/faces more naturally than males -- Especially overweight, awkward, unattractive blubbering sweaty faces of barely controlled rage like the one that Kalvin K. Korff was cursed with from the fucking day he was born. "TALENT" selects its own vehicles and Kal Korff has NO TALENT as far as being an on-screen presenter let alone a "television face". You cannot make yourself suit such a role, you either do or you don't. Kal does not and seriously, Manish must be a fucktard of the highest order for allowing any of this to continue.

BBUT PLEEEEASEEE Mister Sapstoe Secret Super Duper Service Rank Office -- Pretty please?? Don't REPORT US TO THE FBI FOR AN INVESTIGATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ohh nooooo lolol fuckit I'm laughing too much. Screw this.

Anonymous said...

Will Korff ever understand that nobodies watching, nobodies listening... that is, other than the Syndicate.

Let's hope not.

Let the example of what not to be and the entertainment kontinue.

Anonymous said...

Yep, I just checked on the view count on his last videos, pathetic.

I found a channel which has been on YouTube for less than a year, this person is racking up huge views. Why?

Gee, I dunno, maybe it's the pro look of the videos, maybe it's the material itself, maybe it's the microphone, for Christ Sake Korff!!!

Check it out Korffer's, in 8 months this channel is blowing up:

Could Kalvin ever approach this kind of professional look and material? Not on your life.

Back to Mickey D's you fat fuck. Have another burger on us.

Posting Anonymously to Shield Friends & Family from Harassment said...

40 reasons why someone like 54 year old zero experience in the field and poor delivery Kal Korff would not make a suitable public face for a news agency run by broadcast professionals.

Sorry Kal but it won't work. The world is too obsessed with youth and glamor to give a washed up former UFO expert such an opportunity. It's obvious you are doing this at your own behest for personal reasons, a conclusion drawn out by the tepid hit counts on the video pages (which are probably just us looking in for a few laughs).

The public are not watching this, and the meek response you are seeing amongst your friends/family is called being embarrassed for you. You should give them a break and drop the "news anchor" fantasy, it is as unrealistic as the counter-intelligence "colonel" fantasy.