Monday, October 31, 2011

Come clean Kal and write the truth as it is. No? I'll do it for you.

I always await Kal's tiny brain to insert the turth about himself into one of his posts.  This might be what it would look like in a moment of sane clarity for the tubby cunt. My thanks to the Korffer for the following spoof on Kal.................................

BREAKING NEWS! Tomorrow in a newspaper that doesn't exist, I have a nearly 1,000 word baffling piece I wrote concerning what I want to be the truth about what happened to Navy SEAL Team 6 and how they met their tragic demise in Afghanistan. As my last pretend articles that are digitally altered so you really can't read them because I make this shit up and pretend to be syndicated, their deaths were more honorable than anything I could ever accomplish because I am a fucking loser living out my delusions on the internet.

I was given data from a source inside the Pentagon news search on Google on this, and I quote from documents I've dreamed up and name personnel and identify how many people from what branches of service - OK I just made that all up too so it sounds like I am connected but we all know the only connection I have is for midget porn.

One of the people killed was a woman for example, and I think about women a lot since the last girl I kissed was my mother and now I cannot be in the same room as a man without someone else being there. Wait.  What was I saying before?????

The report Xposes the BS I make up on a daily basis and all my lost years and uselessness could have been avoided, just like my untimely birth as I said months ago, and I am not even in the military though I used to pretend to be a Colonel in a fake organization and I stole valor by wearing military rank insignia on my baggy old leather jacket so I could impress people without any knowledge about me who would think I was someone important! I also like to impersonate a lawyer I've never met in order to try and strike fear into the people I hate. This does not seem to work for long and they are someone able to find out quickly that it was me and not the real lawyer's name I used. How do they find out so fast??????

The source I pretend supplied some secret information to me is utter "poppycock," and I just want to make sure that I sound sort of credible and you never know when a fish will float along and bite on my bullshit so I have something to do with my pointless existence. Needless deaths like this should never happen again, especially to our top elite forces that I love to pretend to be as good as but know I would not amount to a shit smear on the toilet paper they use.

The ends do justify means this time, and vice versa or at least I like to think that way so I can convince myself life has more in store for me than dying alone in a foreign country I ran to so I could avoid responsibility. That and having to kiss Art Bell's ass on worldwide radio in front of millions of listeners sent me over the edge. Okay that's bullshit too because I have been acting like a fucking lunatic for years

As an officially accredited international jerkoff  I often get tips and insider stuff I pretend is legit but that I really get off the internet, I love being in the business of "breaking" news that has already happened long before I get off my fat ass to pretend I have some hard hitting Xposes coming out against some major world figures and international subjects in the printed press over the next few months. I am a complete dipshit forpretending to have this latest Xpose published, I hope it causes a stink like the one that constantly follows me but I know everything I do makes absolutely no impact and can only pretend that my pointless actions have some validity to them.

I'd like to go into much more detail on this in my new book, in Volume VI, but we all know the book I have been promising for YEARS is NEVER COMING OUT and I don't understand why my manuscripts that are written on toilet paper and McDonald's napkins keep getting rejected!!!

Any comments about this Liberal, "self-progressive" Democrats? I have plenty eventhough I know everyone knows how fucking full of shit and hate I really am. I just want a free ride that I think I deserve and probably should be down at Occupy Wall Street mingling with the rest of the losers like me.  Maybe I'll bring my blue ribbon science fair prize to amaze everyone and a copy of my outdated books that I conned into someone publishing. Those were the good old days when I convinced everyone I was someone important and special and amazing.  Hell, I don;t even have a college degree.  I know I know I was supposed to be working on a thesis but I'm pretty sure everyone knows that is utter bullshit too.  Oh well. Time to move on to the next delusional cluster fuck lie.


Anonymous said...

Ha, ha, ha! Served Kalvin.

Nelson Muntz said...

HA-ha! Kalvin owned yet again on the Interwebs!

Nice send up. Shockingly close to the truth, even.

happy red mogul balloon! said...

lol happy halloween dingbat

Anonymous said...

You are lying scum, Korff.

Apologize to Mr Sedl*c*k.

Anonymous said...

Instead of using the term "kritics" Kalvin, that's so last century, why don't you just join us and us the term "Korffer"?

In any case, here's Kalvin, once again, responding directly to this blog with ZERO Face Bookers responding to his post or caring two Little Shits.

Kalvin, we don’t need to figure out which media giant you write for, Google can do that for us. And, Kalvin, what do you think your Face Book “friends” will think when they read this and they wonder, “Wait a minute, I’m not a kritic of Kal Korff and he’s never told me what newspaper these articles appear in either!”

Why hide the promotion and attention you so desperately need Kalvin? Why hide the publicity Kalvin. Why not tell the world you got married to your Indian Princess until many months later?

Oh wait , it’s all tied together. You want everyone on Face Book to know you’re a syndicated, investigative reporter - journalist but you don’t want to tell people where you do that work (or that you got married) for fear of the media attention. Huh?

See how this works Kalvin. We own you, you lie, you tell half truths, and now on Face Book, you’ve been found out and guess what?

Nobody gives two Little Shits. You want proof.

Check the response you’re getting on Face Book, Youtube and a few dozen hits a day and pretty much ZERO Face Book attention. Face Book is a CLOSED web site Kalvin, friends only, the other sites are open to 7 BILLION people and check out those hit totals….Dumb Ass.

Amusing beyond amusement – Kalvin Karlton Korff.

Kal Korff: Hi everyone, hope you are all doing well. Here's my promised expose of what REALLY happened in Afghanistan to members of Navy SEAL Team 6 and how they met their demise. I quote material from an official pentagon report, which is deservedly being slammed for using "politically correct" English. It is obvious that these deaths COULD have been avoided. My motive for exposing this is to help and hope ...that the stupid decisions made at the time, won't be repeated again. In war, stupid decisions cost people their lives. They should always be avoided if possible. This hit the newspaper today, I am not including the article as it appeared at the end of this syndicated version like I normally do for only one reason: I want to test and see if my "kritics" lie and "deny" that this got published or make up some other nonsense about it. They're desperately trying to figure out what newspaper I write for and where I get published and what media giant I get syndicated from, let them squirm and make up...

Anonymous said...

Oh Jesus korff, what a fucking tool you are. A sad, flabby fucking tool. I am embarrassed for you, you fucking klown. You are too slow to really understand what a joke you are, huh? Jesus indeed ...

Anonymous said...

BTW Korffers, this latest and most poorly written .PDF is not locked in anyway.

It seems quite clear that Kalvin has unlocked his newer .PDF's because he has read and responded to the logic posted on this blog.

Why lock up your material to make it impossible for people with an interest in your material the opportunity to use your material in any way which they'd like to?

So, by all means, download this “article” and mess about with it. After all, what can Kalvin do? Send a fake, or better yet, a lawyer he’s stolen the identity of, to send you a fake cease and desist.

Amuse me Kalvin, please.

Anonymous said...

A klown is is, and that's all he has left.

Mum must be proud.

Anonymous said...

"Kal K. Korff is an officially accredited internationally known author, columnist and investigative journalist."

That's an awful lot of accreditation for a guy who doesn't have a college degree of any kind. Kal doesn't even have a degree in basket weaving.

Everyone here knows Kal is not syndicated in any major publication. If this were true Kal would flaunt it because of his self serving ego.

And Fair Use will indeed cover any commentary on Kal's piece. Kal points out that he is a public figure and therefor he is fair game.

The Unknown Korffer said...

This hit the newspaper today, I am not including the article as it appeared at the end of this syndicated version like I normally do for only one reason: I want to test and see if my "kritics" lie and "deny" that this got published or make up some other nonsense about it. They're desperately trying to figure out what newspaper I write for and where I get published and what media giant I get syndicated from ...

Not at all, Kal! Could care less beyond the obvious issue of an ongoing deception just like every other deception. Taunting 3rd parties through your Flake Book posts belies your seriousness about what you claim to be doing with yourself. What's important is the conflict, a common thread running back to the Jim Dilletoso days. Though it is interesting to note that here is Kal Korff once again claiming affiliation with some sort of agency whose existence cannot be confirmed just like the Super Duper Services. Run a background check on me and you'd find every job, gig, appointment or employment opportunity I've ever had. No playing games or weird trips about what anybody else thinks, security concerns or shadowy motivations. That's the way professional people operate and why it's so easy to conclude the opposite of Kal Korff. Totally unprofessional, disorganized and coming off like a raving lunatic on a new fantasy binge. Enjoy! but please, don't accuse me of actually caring about it. This is just entertainment.

Anonymous said...

This is just entertainment.

You Know My Name, Look Up The Number said...

A freaked out web-based soap opera with kal k. korff as the star! tune in tomorrow ...

Anonymous said...

More failure. Kal just can't do *anything* right at all. Syndicated from makes no sense. Syndicated by is the correct phrasing, though I would hardly expect an accredited investigative journalist to be on top of proper English use.

Anonymous said...

"Syndicated from makes no sense."

Good catch Korffer!


Anonymous said...

Just so we don't forget the name of the lawyer, the REAl lawyer, Korff stole the identity of and then tried to use to scare Big Don Ecker into pulling the audio regarding Korff Kraziness off Don's blog and to shut down the KIAI youtube channel, which Big Don has ZERO to do with, by the way.

Good times.


Anonymous said...

And lets not forget this klassic Korffing web page. These's enough Korffisums and outright lies in this Korff written piece to fill a septic tank to the top and then some!

Good times!

happy red mogul balloon! said...

lol great fantasy kal. we aren't trying to figure out where youre newsroom articles are published since its obvious theyre not. if you were it'd be a simple matter to demonstrate so that settles that. come to think of it wasn't dropping the scanned articles one of the pointers in a prior advice comment left here for you? what a tool. hey but whatever you do DONT clean up your website it crashed my web browser last time i tried to look at it couldn't stop laughing after. similar reaction happening now. a media giant, lol. havin fun? we are too.

Anonymous said...

Ha, ha, ha! I love me some Korffing!

"... and I have an advanced media copy....."

in paperback!!!!!!!!

Why didn't this Pfarrer chap contact YOU, Kalvin Karlton Korff, so YOU could give hime YOUR information that YOU only have and only YOU publish on and in SYNDICATION in NEWSPAPERS that only YOU can know?

Ha, ha, ha!

A single link Korff.

Amusement, I like.

Kal Korff: This new book, and I have an advance media copy of it thanks to being a journalist, SEAL Target Geronimo: The Inside Story of the Mission to Kill Osama Bin Laden, by former SEAL Team Six commander Chuck Pfarrer...

Anonymous said...

Ha, ha, ha, ha,!!!! Korff, you idiot!

She's not your wife, she's your Princess.

Hidden away from the world and from your crazy.

No photos, no name, no nothing.

Kalvin Korff: I must keep a low profile so as not to interest the news in my personal life."

Ha, ha, ha! Please stop Korff! I can't take it any more. Can't breath! Laughing too hard!!!

Kal Korff: I LOVE my wife! :-)

Anonymous said...

That "white noise" and low freq. rumble in the background Kalvin? That noise is korffer's world-wide laughing their ass off at YOU and your antics! Tell us, how does it feel to be a world-wide buffoon and klown known for your particular brand of KRAZY? Hmm, tell us ..

Anonymous said...

Yes crazy lad, please tell us!

Anonymous said...

All that Krazy. Let's see, let's count some of it up.

Genius level son .. hmmm
IQ of 219 per Omni Mag. hmmm
500 book deal .. hmmm
25 Million dollars from a Shiek ... hmm
Married an Indian Princess .. hmmm
designed an A-bomb at age 14 .. hmmm
Went all over Iraq looking for WMD's .. hmmm
Is/was a Colonel in the super-duper special secret services ... hmmm
ripped off Apple products and charged it to a Humanitarian ... hmmm
Have ur own "award-winning" TV show and channel ... on U-Tube ... hmmmm
Designed and deployed "nano-dust" to track terrorists ... hmmmm (by the way, what the fuck does nano-dust do???)
Impersonate American Lawyers ... hmmm

Anybody see an MO here? Korff .. you are Fucking NUTS!

Anonymous said...

Ah, I LUV IT! Kalvin Karlton Korff's Greatest HITS!!! Hahahahahahahaha!!

Anonymous said...

Well done! Great post!

Santa in a Floppy Hat uses that song in every one of his videos!

Anonymous said...

"...helped them with their IT systems to videotape the healing process after reconstructive surgery."

Right... So these people stayed at the location and healed in front of web cams...?

Lying Liar.

Kal Korff: Nancy Pelosi first had plastic surgery years ago, I know the clinic she went to because I know two doctors there, helped them with their IT systems to videotape the healing process after reconstructive surgery. It's yet another reason I can never support her, not only does she have a problem with the truth, but she is vain, "plastic" and has a problem admitting things she doesn't like. Such as truth. :-)

Anonymous said...

Has Nancy Pelosi Had Plastic Surgery?

No woman has ever gotten closer to the presidency than Pelosi. But there's a lot more to admire besides Pelosi's achievements, as the 66-year old grandmother has preserved herself well through the years and looks great. There is speculation that Nancy Pelosi had a face lift and eye lift. Nancy Pelosi flatly denies this rumor, saying she never had one. When asked about the plastic surgery rumor, Pelosi said "I hear them say on TV that I've had face-lifts, I heard one woman say I've had a face-lift, but it looks terrible." She shook her had and said, "Did you ever think that those two things cancel themselves out?" Looking at recent photos, one can't help but see that her eyes are quite refreshed and open, there are no jowls, and the neckline is quite taut. Whether Nancy Pelosi had surgery or not is besides the point, she looks fantastic and we hope she will kick butt in the House. As for Hillary Clinton, if she's going ot make a run for the White House now's the time to make a call to Pelosi and get some beauty maintenance tips...and the number of Pelosi's plastic surgeon.

Paul Is Dead said...

Kal Korff: Nancy Pelosi first had plastic surgery years ago, I know the clinic she went to because I know two doctors there, helped them with their IT systems to videotape the healing process after reconstructive surgery.


There's no end to this is there? Would that have been at Walter Mitty General Hospital or the Wannabe Clinic? And did this "IT" job happen before or after dedicating his life to being a counter terrorism analyst? It certainly didn't happen during the transition to accredited syndicated bigshot columnist on the advance distribution list. Fuck this guy, he's a loser.

Anonymous said...

Lying piece of shit. Lying filth. Stop lying, liar.

The Unknown Korffer said...

I wonder if Kalvin was aware that he was stating that he just happened to know two doctors -- not one, but two of them -- who just happened to work at the same health care service where Nancy Pelosi just happened to go for cosmetic surgery, and that he had just happened to have done "IT work" there, and that the story of her doing so had suddenly become a hot button topic for those who obsess over politics in lieu of having an actual life. The chances of Kal having a legitimate angle to attach himself personally to the story are mind bogglingly low.

The mathematics concept is called probability and statistics, and anyone who understands how probability works can easily discern that the likelihood or probability that Kal K. Korff would first have done "IT work" at a hospital or health care facility at all. I'd give that a 5% chance of being a truthful statement (or a 95% chance that it is not truthful), and the probability of the rest of it being truthful declines dramatically the more details he tosses in. Final value is about a -10% that it's another bullshit fabrication meant to insert Kal into a story of moderate interest.

Doesn't Kal realize that he comes across as either a complete horse's ass for making such assertations or a totally deluded mental case barely in control of that mask of sanity? Or an eleven year old child who wants praise for something they haven't done, take your pick. Point being that it doesn't come across as a rational thing to claim given knowledge of Kalvin's history of lying, exaggerating, and putting himself in the middle of important events. I also agree with the "fuck this guy" sentiment. Or rather to hell with this, I'm going for a walk outdoors amongst the green growing things. Kal Korff doesn't warrant anyone's attention at all, especially when lying like a small spoiled rotten evil mean spirited bored infantile little child. His mom should cut off the bank account access and make Kal move home to face a mental health evaluation. Rational individuals do not behave like that.

Anonymous said...

So Kal knows the two doctors that were rumoured to have worked on Nancy Pelosi's cosmetic surgery. Their names are Dr. Unger and Dr. Cohen.
Strange that he didn't mention that, or the name of the clinic.
All of this supposedly happened nearly 3 years ago, so why is it suddenly big news now?


Anonymous said...

Korff uplaoded another .PDF (unlocked, again) and this one has to do with Apple TV, etc. A Google image seach using the term "Apple TV" came up with the EXACT image Kalvin used in the FAKE copy and paste FAKE article mock up he added to the bottom of his NOT SYNDICATED ANYWHERE .PDF.

Just so you know.

Lying Liar.

T said...

yea right, helped with IT systems all the while, f'ing up his horses ass brothers case, hmm, making nanodust, being a colonel, oh yes, collaberating on music with dude from killing joke, making his HIT tv series,,,ummm where the hell are my chest waders, the shit it getting deep and thick, like quicksand..shit head dont know much about IT...lying asshole

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

"shit head dont know much about IT..."

Check his web iste, Can't even build one that works, using a templet.

"lying asshole"

That would be a truth.

Anonymous said...

I have noticed that our famous posters Jimmy D and F1 Racer haven't posted for a while. I hope they aren't serving long prison sentences for their crimes against our favorite idiot! Oh, not to worry. Since it was Kal Korff who said they were under investigation by the police and would be arrested soon, it's a certainty that it was all bullshit.

Anonymous said...

I am always here. Just havent got any Korff related crap to post heh

F1 Racer
still free never served or sued

Jimmy D said...

Well, since February of last year, the Czech police had my residence under 24-hour surveillance (right, Kal?). This week, they finally pounced at two in the morning. I am writing this from a high security jail, waiting to be charged for the heinous crimes of calling a liar a liar, a pedo a pedo, a scumbag a scumbag, etc etc.

Not really - I'm still here, too. Rejoicing in the ongoing Korffing effort.

You are vermin, Korff - apologize publicly to Mr S*dl*c*k.

The Unknown Korffer said...

State publicly that you were lying when claiming "dinner with the troops" last Thanksgiving and apologize to the men & women of the US Armed forces for falsely appropriating their insignia.

Anonymous said...

Seems simple enough to rid himself of us:

You are vermin, Korff - apologize publicly to Mr S*dl*c*k.

State publicly that you were lying when claiming "dinner with the troops" last Thanksgiving and apologize to the men & women of the US Armed forces for falsely appropriating their insignia.

and, if I will,

Go away.


Anonymous said...

November 05, 2011. Daylight Savings Time ends tonight here in the States Kalvin. At 2:00 AM the clocks turn back for one hour. Just think! You gain an hour, which means you will be a lying thieving Dick for one additional hour tonight. Wow!, right?

happy red mogul balloon! said...


Anonymous said...



Anonymous said...

A lie onto itself.

Kalvin Korff: "My new reality TV series Secret Wars."

The reality here is that it was a new internet show.

Then again Korff never lies.

Does he...

Kals best friend said...

and pretyy crappy at that with mr. bloated at his best..hahaha his best sucks ass and i guess he is looking bloated cause he is so full of bullshit

Anonymous said...

So what you're saying Kalvin is that you're honored, you feel honored based on a lie and a fruad.

Good work son.

BTW, a 4 page book review!?! What nevwspaper in their right mind would publish a 4 page book review.

I read it, sad to say, it's a puff piece and it shows your cult like love for Steve Jobs.

A single link to any newspaper Korff. One single link.


Kal Korff: Here's my review of Walter Isaacson's official authorized biography of legendary Apple co-founder, Steve Jobs. This is my favorite article of the three I am honored to have published today in the media. I hope you enjoy it, and thanks again everyone for your kind comments and support. I know I keep saying this, but I really mean it! :-)

I'm honored and humbled to report that I have three articles which were published in the papers today. Here is one of them, it is another travel piece. This time it is about Monaco and my impressions when I visited there, hope you enjoy it. Very shortly, there will be over 8,000 hits soon concerning the articles I have written and have reposted after they appear in the press. Thanks again, everyone, for your kind words and encouragement, as a journalist it means a lot to me. It seems that interest in these pieces increases each week, which is a real honor for a writer. Thanks again! :-)

Anonymous said...

Google News Search

Key word search: "Kal Korff"

Custom Date Range: 1964 to 2011


Skeptical Inquirer - Jul 1, 2004

Yakima Herald-Republic - Mar 9, 2004

Washington Post - Aug 5, 1997

That's it Korff, 3 returns. Nothing else comes up.

In contrast, a Kevin Randle search resulted in 3840 returns.

A Big Don Ecker search resulted in 3200 returns.

It's very clear Korff, you're lying, clear and simple.

Lying Liar

Anonymous said...

Kalvin Karton Korff

He truly is a crazy sociopath and pathological liar and pereptual victim.

by your average citizen.

Don Ecker said...

From March 11,2011 on Dark Matters Radio blogsite.

Now for some comedy relief, Kolonel Kal Korff in his Kowboy Hat now has a total of FIVE yes that is right … FIVE lawyers from India, that is the sub-continent of India .. getting ready to take me to International Court .. according the the email message I received this date … to sue me for slander and liable, not to mention my Dishonest attempt to bring him on Dark Matters Radio. Imagine what this LOON could do if he ever got a job? And took his meds … and took a bath … and maybe found a girlfriend .. or possibly a boyfriend? Just imagine …

Don Ecker

happy red mogul balloon! said...

all of that humbled and honored stuff is creepy. most humans use such phrases sparingly lest their meaning not be diluted. for kal its leg humping tho as the other guy points out he's trying to praise himself for all the hard work that went into a fraud. imagine if he actually put that much effort in finding an entry level position. instead its a syndicated daily column and a media giant with a newsroom and yet they can only come up with the same picture of kal from metropolini express.

Anonymous said...

...Yes, the same headshot with those CRAZY EYES.

Anonymous said...

Im surprised he hasnt gone all apeshit on the washington post's article about Iran's nukes. Oh yea, give it a day, then he will repost as his own article.

Anonymous said...

I got a few words for you Kalvin:




Kal Korff: I'm going to try to add a new word to the English language, in the interests of integrity, truth, and the further advancement of objective science. The word is: Obamination. :-)

Anonymous said...

One can almost imagine sad little Kalvin sitting alone in his squalid, dank shithole of a room, racking his pea-brain for a derogatory play on Obama's surname.

Great day's work there, KalIsrael!

Anonymous said...

The kernal's childish coinage only took him a few years longer than it did the several thousand others who think they invented it.

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