Sunday, June 14, 2009

Is Kal changing his name to Forrest Gump?

Paul Kimball marches bravely into Prague and what does Kal Korff the supposed fearless hunter of terrorists do? KAL RUNS AWAY!! Paul shows up in Prague having announced his trip weeks ago and then Kal leaves on some sort of sudden research trip? Is this just some sort of coincidence? Not as far as I'm concerned and this is just Kernal Coward himself keeping the tradition of him running away like a scared little kid when an adult is about to confront him. This will now be the THIRD time Kal has CRAWLED OFF and holed up in some corner curled into a fetal position. First Kal TURNED TAIL from Paul Kimball after Paul said he would fly Kernal Cornhole into Halifax for a FACE TO FACE debate with Kevin Randle. After Kernal Conniving made an inCONvenient excuse Kevin Randle gave Kernal Blowhard another chance at the debate Kal himself PRACTICALLY BEGGED FOR while having the nerve to call Kevin randle a coward! Spineless Kal K. Korff ran away from that debate with yet another one of his CONvenient excuses that was so obviously planned out well ahead of time.

So here it is now for the THIRD TIME Kal K. Korff has a glowing opportunity at no cost to him since he didn;t have to fly anywhere to face one of his legion of critics and what does this supposed Israeli founded organization agent/SAPSTOE/analyst/terrorist hunter do??? HE GOES INTO FULL RETREAT!!!!!!!! why? because Kal K. Korff is a conniving coward who utterly thrives on trying to make the lives of anyone who questions or criticizes or points out the crystal clear flaws of his claims out miserable and he can only do so from afar. Face to face the little tool is nothing he claims to be. Kal wants to rage about Paul Kimball never contacting him directly. Kal can mark that excuse off his endless list of excuses since Paul MARCHED RIGHT ON IN on Kal's turf directly! But it looks as though standing up face to face is not Kal's strong point as it is not with most cowards.

Informants within Prague have alerted me that Paul has secured on camera interviews with the U.S. Embassy who roll their eyes and try to contain their laughter when asked about Kal and his claims of meeting with them about flying saucers. Paul is supposed to also have or will interview Vojtek, Milos Bartu, Kal's former landlord, Czech police, former Metropolini employees and many others about Kal's various claims inckuding those within the inner circle of Kernal Cameltoe. Worlds Away will be a SMASH HIT and I am now hearing that it may have to be done in two parts with all of the new information Paul has gotten his hands and camera on. now Kal can sit back and see what a REAL production is supposed to look like and see what it also looks like on a movie and tv screen instead of a computer screen! EVERYTHING about you will be REVEALED in public Kal. After all he is Kal Korff and a public figure and I'm sure Paul Kimball will handle this all iwth the utmost of professionalism because Paul is a true professional unlike Kernal Cowpatty.

If I was in Paul's shoes I would premiere Worlds Away in Prague and invited Kal as the guest of honor. But of course based on Kal's own track record and by his own choice Kal would probably just run away instead of acting like an adult and standing by all the public accusations he's made against many people. Who is the coward now Kal? It certainly isn't Paul Kimball who even gave Kal the courtesy of announcing WEEKS ahead of time he was coming to Kal's front door and Kal didn't even have the manners to or grace to meet Paul face to face.

Kernal Conniving K. Coward strikes again!


Anonymous said...

>>> on camera interviews with the U.S. Embassy <<<

Kernel Kowpatty... You hear those footsteps?

That's the footsteps of doom my Finagling Fat Friend.

You fucked about, for to many years, spazzzzing on about this and that hoping to regain your previous and limited “fame”, but that behavior didn't get you the recognition that you needed, did it? Hell no, you demand your due...

So, you pushed it to another level and you started to float even more grandiose lies and you took your personal threat level to an even higher level; Code Orange! GO TO CODE ORANGE MY PEEPS!

And what has these ego driven excises gotten you?

A documentary, a possible a two part documentary, which will lay out your world class crazy for all of your *Dear World* (and them perfect lady creatures you go on about... gulp) to see.

Live by the net, get marginalized by the net, and get destroyed by the net Kalvin.

At some point, the movie will be on your beloved Youtube...

The flash will be out of the pan and the world, for eternity, or until Skynet takes over, will have easy access to your excesses, to your behavior (Fuck You Bartu!) and to your Pug, Pug, so very Pug ways.

People, it doesn’t get any better than this.

Best served cold? Nah, best served on a world stage.

Hey Kalvin, pull the “Dear Worlds” finger. (been waiting to us that!)


Anonymous said...

" announced today that its President and CEO, Mr. Kal Korff, has left on a three week trip to polish off the last final preparation parts for his six book series on terrorism, called Secret "X" Wars, which will then be sent off to the Publisher."

This has been said before by Kal, repeatedly, for at least 3-4 years.

Kal apparently believes that sending his more or less non-existant 6 volume manuscript "off to the publisher" is an event.

What a douche.

Squonkamatic said...

Hiding from Paul Kimball rather than taking the initiative to give your side of the story, since as you've said it yourself nobody else can speak for it. Mistake #9.

Anonymous said...

>>> as you've said it yourself nobody else can speak for it. <<<

Now that's a classic smack down Kalvin!


Anonymous said...

Kal is always chomping at the bit for a crack at his so called "kritics" and hwen he finally has one delivered to his front door what does Kal do? Kal goes into hiding and completely CONtradicts himself again.

Nice job, Kal. Since Kal has proclaimed himself a public figure, he should have known he'd be criticized as one based on his own words and actions.

Anonymous said...

" Kal's Korner Returns to 'X' Zone Week of June 10-11th - We Got their Email Msg -)"

Wrong again Kal! I just looked at Kal's ridiculous website and it is now updated with some sort of Martina Tycova store and of course the widgets don't work as it is with 95% of the widgets on kal's amateur site. This is just getting creepy.

Anonymous said...

I just caught up on all of Kernal's Komedy Show as I've been away from a computer for awhile. Boy oh boy, what a boatload of worm casings he's delivered the last few days! Everytime he opens his mouth it somehow gets better and better! I just read his postings and shake my head and laugh! Just when you start to think it's all over, he drops new bomb after new bomb! My head is swimming! I'm even beginning to wonder if Kal really even exists but is rather some huge practical joke pulled by some kind of Sasha Cohen style of blogger. This guy can't be real, can he?

Anonymous said...


Kalvin changed the look of his site because, Rom McC. told him to pull down all references to his Xzone Show, web site, et al, immediately. So there you have it. It matters not is you care for Rob or not, he has finally followed through with his promise… to cut off all ties with Kalvin K. Korff.

I know, I know… Rob was part of the problem, keeping Kalvin on and giving him some sort of “fame”. Well, that’s now OVER, Kalvin.

How does that feel Kalvin? The sting of realization that your only, non Kalvin gig, a gig which you we’re invited on, has dried up, gone away, vanished, poooffff…adios.

Why, you might ask? Because you made promises to Rob you had no intention of keeping. You lied to Rob time and again. And, I surmise…..

He found out the obvious; a person working on sensitive issues, within and without of many governments, DOES NOT post anything on the web. Period. Look around Kalvin; you’re the only secret agent (!) to have a fucking web site. Oh, not a secret agent, then lets call you a special agent, okay.

It doesn’t change a thing Kalvin; you’ve blown your own cover. Because you can’t, ever, stay covert Kalvin. Your ego and ass are both way to HUGE.

Public espionage… Udderly amazing and udderly phoney.

It’s over buddy. Youtube, Twitter, and kind of clap trap, is all you got left. You it wisely Fatty. Your time is coming to a close.


Anonymous said...

Sorry for the crappy spelling guys and gals... Tired must get some sleep.

Fuck you very much, Kalvin.


Anonymous said...

"Fuck you very much."

Good song - check it out:

Anonymous said...

Actually that "fuck you" song - like the Bowie song ( - could almost be about Kalvin.

Fuck you very very much, chubby little loser...

Brit_in_Prague said...

"Welcome to the Tycova Line. To shop, just click an icon!" it says at the top of the buffoon's webpage.

Well guess what? I clicked...and nothing happened.

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure that was Don Ecker a few postings back.

Still hiding from Paul Kimball, Kal?

Anonymous said...

I see Kal is still desperately trying to smear the police in his brother's shooting by trying to associate them with a youtube video of some cops beating a teenager.

Kal writes on his site, "Were these police officers "behaving properly" when they beat this 15 years young girl?

Were they behaving properly when they lied and covered up forensics in the shooting of Kurtis Korff?

You decide."

Kal is being disingenuous here by pretending he is going to let an opinion contrary to his stand.

Anonymous said...

From site statistics:

From 3/09 through 5/09

Kal Korff had 1650 unique visitors had 13,124 unique visitors

What's so damn funny about all this is that has been INACTIVE FOR AT LEAST 2 YEARS while Kernal Cornlicker updates his site constantly and even tries to draw traffic there by posting popular Youtube clips and by using keyword manipulation! LMAO!

There isn;t enough data available for or to even compare to! LMAO!!

So much for the hits Kal LIES about getting and the data proves he is being less than honest here. The truth is always the best defense.

And The Paracast, which is Kal's other sworn enemy, had almost 8,000 unique visitors. ROTF!

It is clear that "analyst" Kal Korff doesn't understand much about, well, analyzing web data or he'd know how easy it is to get caught with his pants down. Ok, that last part was a grotesque thought but you know what I mean.

Brad Hudson said...

Oh what a happy day!!! Two new videos, the first including a claim that Gil Gilbertson emailed Kal too congratulate him on his psyop against Dept. Geiger!!

3+ minutes of Kal snapshots followed by crazy talk (in front of a background featuring the Dome on the Rock)!!

Anonymous said...

Wow! I think there is a quantitative decline in Kal's speech compared to previous videos.

Is he on medication in these two? I think so.

Anonymous said...

LOL! Kal's new vids on YouTube are hilarious. Looks like some artificial intelligence took over Kal's identity.

Anonymous said...

Anyway, "Colonel" - lucky old you, being in Jerusalem. Better weather there than over here in Central Europe at the moment.

By the way, was it siesta time when you were delivering your spiels? Nothing is moving behind you - no background traffic noise and tourist bustle.

Most odd...

Anonymous said...

Could someone please copy and post elsewhere these videos before the buffoon comes round from his trance?

Kult of Kal?

Anonymous said...

Stream of consciousness while listening to the latest “video”.

Sci-Ops.... HA! Don't worry Kal, we don't take you seriously. The truth does hurt Kalvin, you must really be hurting. I wouldn’t want to be you right now.

My God Kalvin, you put a laugh track on a video you hope will be taken seriously! Yeah, that’ll work. Nice poster behind you Kalvin. Using a laptop mounted web camera now? See the microphone, now you don’t?

And what, no reference to RMIII this time. I guess the blog has gotten to you and you understand that saucers and your dirt-bag brother are not one in the same.

I see you took down “most” of the X-Zone related material off your site Kalvin. You’ve missed a bit; we’ll inform Rob about what still needs to be taken down.

You see, Rob now takes you very seriously Kalvin. He so serious that he’s pulled you off the X-Zone, he told you to pull off any reference to his show and he’s supposedly doing a espouse on you in July.

Paul Kimball, he takes you seriously. Your actions are going to result in a world-wide release of a documentary, chronicling your wild story, your wild lies, your wild attempt at regaining what little fame you had.

How’s it feel to be taken seriously Kalvin? When you lie, and are found out, people take offense.

And what about those eye bags Kalvin? Maybe you’re believing what you’re reading off the internet and you’re losing a bit of sleep?

Lastly, you "are" not capable of following through Kalvin, just ask F1, Brad and RMIII.

They haven’t been approached by ANYONE in ANYWAY who have ANYTHING to do with you.

Knocking down the doors to take them away... for hate crimes against Kalvin K. Korff.

Your actions really are the laugh track playing behind your own reality series Kalvin.

You’ve turned your life into a comedic reality series! You are your own Truman, but in this case, you’re manning the cameras and writing the script as you go.

There’s no secret, no unscripted moment, yet... Now that’s udderly pathetic.

Kalvin, you got no juice. You got plenty of hot air, and a little web came, and after this trial ends, you’ll have nothing more to rally against.

Well, you do have a 6 part trilogy on terrorism with Prometheus will not publish.

Hell, they won’t even respond to our e-mails anymore there so over Kalvin K. Korff and we Korffers.

“We aren’t in the Kal Korff business anymore.” Right from the publisher, Kalvin.



Anonymous said...

In Kal's latest video ( at 2:16 we have a fine illustration of the Goober's basic sense of humour.

The photo is of a gentlemen's rest room in a downtown Prague shopping centre. It is one of a selection that he ran in two consecutive issues of his crappy Metropolitni express "English language column". The contents of those columns, as I recall, consisted of an "English language lesson" in puerile double entendres, laced with hints for his lady readers about the size of his manhood.

Anonymous said...

Kal should really take the time to pick up a dictionary and look up the word syndicated. Kal's show is not syndicated, as that would mean more than one party would have actually been stupid enough to lay out money for this trash Kal slaps together on his laptop. No credible production would ever waste time using a built in laptop cam.

Syndication would also mean that it would be broadcast by an independent third party. The only places these ultra low grade flatulence is on youtube and Kal's website template.

If Kal was actually on location for those videos then why isn't he sweating his off ass? And Kal looks like he might be washing that gray right out of his head.

Squonkamatic said...

It just keeps getting stranger and stranger. He's drugged all right and the bags under his eyes aren't looking too healthy. Looks like he's lost weight too though that could just be a stretch effect on his rubber head.

The most bizarre part is that his videos now resemble Islamic Fundamentalist propaganda tapes complete with a still image of the holy land combined with a barely animated talking head delivering rhetoric with a big unruly microphone. He's one weird, fucked up guy.

Squonkamatic said...

I like the reflective three minute "Kal as a Rock Star" opening montages, looking back over his career as a SAPSTOE with revealing glances at some of the behind the scenes moments over the years. It's masturbation to the highest degree, done in public and stroking that ego just the way he loves it. Is this the beginning of a mellower, calmer age for Kal K. Korff? Will he stay on whatever medication he's been prescribed and follow doctor's instructions?

I also hope that Editor-in-Chief Ms. Michelle Binker of the Illinois Valley News takes a minute to look these new clips over and see just how Kal K. Korff had in fact maintained that he was some sort of agent or operative working under Israeli aegis and that Scott Jorgensen's use of those terms was quite accurate, since there's no way to prove or disprove any of it. The Professor is at least implying some sort of connection to Israeli intelligence services and in these videos he's actually using imagery related to the middle east in a specific manner. Anybody can call themselves an analyst, but there's only one SAPSTOE of which we know!

Lastly I guess this is Kal K. Korff's new obsession, and there are probably worse things he could be obsessed with. If he wants to get fried on Litium and go on YouTube with some silly video editing system and bore everyone to tears with a three minute opening montage (that's a tad long, Kal) summing up his career until now I think that's just fine. My best guess is he's using iMovie since it comes bundled with certain MacOS packages. He might want to sit up in his chair a little more next time, he's kind of slouching but then again that's anti-depressant medication for you. I think the best way to sum these last three videos up is that they are easier to ignore.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program.

Squonkamatic said...

Oh and as a footnote that should be of interest/concern to everyone partaking of our Korffing here, a British judge has ruled that the anonymity of bloggers cannot be taken for granted:

No doubt Kalvin will view this as some sort of victory & probably try to take some sort of behind the scenes credit for it. Personally I think it's a fucked up ruling that will inevitably stifle freedom of speech or expression or whatever. KEEP YOUR LAWS OFF MY INTERNET! ;[

Brad Hudson said...

Kal knows who I am and where to find me. Kal also knows he'll have to go to court and have his entire life gone over with a fine toothed comb.

Kal can't afford to make that mistake.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely correct! And this is one single British judge issuing a ruling on a case that specifically applied to Britain. There is also nothing in the article about an appeal to the ruling, which will doubtlessly be appealed, but that's the British press for you who seem singular in their pursuit of crisis oriented journalism. It will be a cold day in hell before Google surrenders any of their power so an appeal should be expected.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure glad Kal found the time, during his urgent 3-week out of town trip to do the final touches to his 6 volume series of SecretWars to be sent to Prometheus for publication, to entertain us with more rank amateur reality based TV video productions. (Phew!)

Nice poster on the wall Kal. The sun is shining from the left, your face is lit from the right! A new law of physics?

I'm afraid Paul Kimball's film about Kal won't present the same glowing presentation that Kal tried to do, regarding his past life.


Anonymous said...

He's posted another Kal's Korner video just now, a visit to the Czech bone church

Kernal Kornholio said...

What the fuck is with the phony ass background and these ridiculously long, exaggerated and ego driven introductions? Sappy music and an image montage? lol This is just going to get worse for Kal before it gets better. Sydnicated? lololololol

And this laughable Kutna Hora video by Kal - is Kal trying to get his own travel channel spot? Kal might want to try adding some narration to this utterly amateur video production.

All of Kal's so varied appearances smack of him trying to hit a bullseye in a darkened smoke filled room with the hopes that he hooks some sucker.

And everyone knows that these latest videos were likely shot in very recent days, meaning that Paul (if he has not already accomplished this objective) still has a chance of confronting Kal on camera.

Kal still has a chance to tell his side of the story directly to one of his critics. Will Kal stand tall and do it? I don't think he has the class or integrity to do it.

Anonymous said...

God, it just never stops. Hey Fat Fuck, ANYBODY can video in that church. ANYBODY can gain access...

>>> The bone church is open 7 days a week year round, except on the 24th and 25th of December. Entry is 40Kč for adults, 20 for students, and a photography permit is an extra 30Kč. Explanatory texts in a variety of languages can be borrowed from the cashier’s desk.<<<

Jesus. You got there before they opened, or you stayed a little late, or it was a slow day, or more like it, you told another big fucking lie to the people working the front desk, or YOU DIDN’T SHOOT THIS YOURSELF? Why?

Because there ain't no talking on it and you can't keep your big mouth shut for two seconds. You lying piece of shit.

BTW, who paid the entrance fee for you to get in?

Anonymous said...

A remarkable coincidence...
Paul Kimball spent the day last Saturday in Kutna Hora.
The following day he was in Terezin, before returning to Prague.
Will Kal's next video be about Terezin??


Anonymous said...

Spies at work, Kal. Spies at work. Smile for the cameras Kal. Being a public figure isn't at it is cracked up to be.

Anonymous said...

Can someone please COPY THOSE TWO LATEST YOUTUBE OFFERINGS? The chubby little loser is bound to delete them once the medication wears off...

Squonkamatic said...

LOL a 3 minute opening segment -- even Kal's favorites The Beatles managed to keep "Help!" down to 2 minutes 40 seconds, and that's the WHOLE SONG.

Maybe Kal should change his format to musical variety too. He and Martina could each do a musical spolight song, share a few jokes with Avram The Wackiest Warrant Officer From Warsaw, and have a special Guest of the Week Expose segment where they heap scorn onto one of Kalvin's favorite foils. Then everybody joins in for the big finale number with Prague's version of the Rockettes, only they are all dressed up in SAPSTOE uniforms! Think of the possibilities, Kal!

Anonymous said...

Kal, keep it up buddy. Korffing rocks!

Rob McConnell

I.Am.Kult.Of.Kal said...

I copied Kal's 2 Stoner on the Mount videos. But I haven't yet uploaded them to my YouTube account. I plan to do that tomorrow.
I've been away from KIAI. Been a hellish week at work, plus my family's sick (like half of Prague). Yes, like you all, I have a life outside Korffing and sometimes it just gets the better of us. :)

Keep up the great work guys & gals!

Brad Hudson said...

KoK - Don't sweat it. I'm in the same boat as I just got my mom out of the hospital, myself, as she was diagnosed w/ colon cancer and had to have emergency surgery. She's home now and things look great, so I'll probably do a bit more Korffing myself.

Anonymous said...

KoK And Brad, take care guys. While Korffing is a gas, and a much needed safe gaurd for the "consumer" we do have a life.

Kalvin, on the other hand, his fat little right hand, and left come to think of it, doesn't.


Anonymous said...

Gotta love the first scene of Kal talking to Martina about who shot his brother.

Worlds Away said...

Looks like KKK is really starting to sweat Kimball's forthcoming film, as this is obviously aimed at Paul, who I suspect is about to jump ahead of Royce Myers III as KKK's favourite subject of attack.

Squirm, KKK, squirm!!


Anonymous said...


EXCLUSIVE! Kal Korff Stars in NEW Documentary about Stanton T. Friedman, On Sale June 20th! PDF Print E-mail
News - Latest News
Written by Public Relations
Thursday, 18 June 2009 00:21

Kal Korff stars in a new documentary on famed UFO researcher and MJ-12 hoax promoter, Stanton T. Friedman. Friedman in enshrined in Royce Myers III's 'UFO Hall Of Fame' despite endorsing numerous hoaxes.

Kal Korff stars in a new non-fiction documentary on Stanton T. Friedman which goes on sale Saturday, June 20th!

Zurich, Switzerland — Here is a still from a new documentary on the legendary UFO researcher, Stanton T. Friedman, which features extensive commentary and factual corrections by Kal Korff.

We psychically predict, although we are NOT "psychic" — that Paul Kimball will continue NOT to hold his Uncle Stan accountable for the claims Friedman makes, Paul is after all admittedly on the "other side of truth", which are examined critically in this video for the first time.

Both UFO "skeptics" and certainly "believers" will find this video to be of great interest.


Anonymous said...

A collector's item? How often do they pick up the garbage in Prague?

Anonymous said...

Paul Kimball is spending his last night in Prague. As he put it,'one last blow-out'. Hot dogs and beer!
Back to Halifax with his 'secret agents' to work on the Korff documentary 'World's Away'.
(Privileged info from one of my 'secret agents').


Anonymous said...

Ha, ha, ha!


It's only a limited edition because Kalvin will only sell a limited, if any, editions.

More to the point, let's see if Kalvin makes this deadline... ever! Ha, ha, ha, ha,

Keep'em coming kalvin and we'll keep loving it.

Korffing! Let's everybody Korff!Everybodies Korffing tonight!


Anonymous said...

Is Kalvin really writing this stuff? Read this crap closely, although it doesn't take a close look to see the many problems with this sentence structure, etc...

>>> ... to polish off the last final <<<

The last final... WTF?

>>> preparation parts <<<

preparation parts... WTF?

>>> Entirely new recorded episodes of Kal's Korner will start to be broadcast shortly. <<<

Jesus, it hurts just to read that shit up there!?!

>> We apologize for the delay in airing them until Kal Korff's trip was arranged and underway. <<<

You should be apologizing for your astounding lack of education, based on your public statements, which only you can make, because only you can speak (and write) for yourself. Thesis indeed....

I ran this "article" through the Flesch Reading Ease, Fog Scale Level, and Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level. Here are their findings, Kernel Kollege.

NOTE: At first the analyzers wouldn’t accept this text, put after trying a few times, it finally coughed up a response.

Flesch Reading Ease: 63.87
Fog Scale Level: 13
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level:

You can go here and read more:

So, there you have it. Armed with his 212 IQ, Kal writes at a very basic, and very AVERAGE 9th Grade level. Your basic High School graduate level.

And, this test doesn't hold the spelling and such at a high regard, it's all about; can we ferret out just what the fuck this twat is trying to get across to us.

We can, barely, but we're laughing all the way to the end.


Anonymous said...

Kal can fire all the salvos he wants but it will never stop Paul Kimball's video EXPOSING Kal.

Based on Kal's past video productions, who in the world would ever waste $20 on anything Kal is selling in video format???

Paul with his vast experience in video/film production will always put out a superior film product than Kal could ever dream of. My money's with Paul every time.

Anonymous said...

UFO WatchCat Continues to Trounce UFO "Watchdog" in Rakings, Ratings and Visitors

UFO WatchCat is not only enormously popular now, but its web site received more "hits" or visits in ONE DAY, than Royce Myers III gets in a WHOLE MONTH!

For more hard and undeniable evidence of Royce Myers III's REFUSAL TO FACE THE TRUTH, PLEASE SEE KAL KORFF'S NEWEST EBOOK, POINT BLANK: ATTEMPTED MURDER, which is DEDICATED to Huckster-Promoter Royce Myers III, and deservedly so. This book is FREE, and can be downloaded at the TOP of the Home Page of this web site. Contained in this book, are the forensic reports by scientists who PROVE THAT ROYCE MYERS III WAS WRONG ABOUT THE UNLAWFUL SHOOTING OF KURTIS KORFF.

Naturally, Royce Myers III has said NOTHING — some "watchdog" eh, folks?

Way to go Royce and his "good buddy" Paul Kimball, who are both, arguably, Messengers Of Deception.

Anonymous said...


>>> UFO WatchCat is not only enormously popular now, but its web site received more "hits" or visits in ONE DAY, than Royce Myers III gets in a WHOLE MONTH! <<<

Lies, liar, lying....

Brad Hudson said...

Kal better hope that what he's selling is his own original work. From the phrasing Kal is using it looks as if he's going to take one of Friedman's own documentaries (probably Flying Saucers are Real!) and basically comment over it (with his "corrections").

If that's the case Kal better be prepared to get hit with a serious lawsuit and criminal charges as Mr. Friedman is not one to just let someone steal his work and then change it. The criminal part of it will be video piracy.

It's obvious that Paul's upcoming doc has Kal all sorts of scared and this is his feeble attempt to "get his documentary released first". Of course Kal told me in an email that he predicted Paul would do a "hit piece" about him and he had been filming his own piece on Paul for the last 2 years. Methinks Kall has picked the wrong family to f with.

Anonymous said...

Doin' some late night Korffing.

Thanks, Brad Hudson. It seems as though Kal is appropriating from all kinds of sources now:

In the 3 minute intro in latest videos Kal launches a line from Seattle to Prague. Seattle is where Kal decided to fight terrorism after the Space Needle was targeted for New Year's Eve, 2000 (after he was "married"). When the line stops at Prague Kal uses the same music that Kult of Kal used when his video was pulled by You-Tube for copywright infringement. Why?

Also, who is the gentleman at 1:45 with the goatee? Anybody know? I recognize Scott Ritter photographed with Kal from a secret video....

Kal also makes some sort of connection between a Czech coat of arms and another with Hebrew writing at 2:09. It's a Lion on a coat of arms, Kal. Part of this elaborate self-mythology you've built for yourself I would guess.

Martina pinning the mike on Kal at 2:30.

And the best I've ever seen Kal is at 2:53. He's just served 7 or 8 beautiful Czech women a free american style dinner with adjutant Avimi, the tall mouth-breather, in tow.

I've only been Korffing for a couple of years, but if you were to read the entire contents on this blog, and older related threads on CZ expats, it would take hours!

Hopefully, "Worlds Away" will condense all the douchebaggery (or buggery) for the un-inclined to ponder upon the trajectory of a lonely lunatic.

As my girlfriend has pointed out on more than one occasion, not everybody has a job where they can take time out to watch the lunatic fringe on YOUTUBE.

Which is what Kal, in his mad genius mind, seems to be crystallizing lately with visual weirdness.

Korffer out


I.Am.Kult.Of.Kal said...

About what Anon said in his last post, "...Kal uses the same music that Kult of Kal used when his video was pulled by You-Tube for copyright infringement. Why?"

Kernal Koko is using music from a free library of music clips (iMovie application on a Mac). No, my video got yanked because I originally used the Superman theme, as Kal rips open his bomber jacket to show off the t-shirt that "shows exactly how it happened!"
Being yanked, I had to replace the Superman theme with the free music clip you can hear today, then I reposted the video. That's why, at the video's end, I go out of my way to mention the music is royalty-free from Apple.

Now, here is what I find scary... Apple provides about 100-150 music clips in their iMovie application. Why the fuck did Kal decide on the very same one I used?

By the way, if you have to watch Kal rip open his jacket again like Superman, it's here, at around 2:25 here:

It was so much better with the Superman theme, I think.

If you're really paying attention:
-I used 2 versions, a short, then a long variant, of that clip.
-the music clip for the Kal1 vid credits is the same music for Kal3 video as Kal walks to and from teh UN Assembly podium. And, again in Kal3 video, there is a short and a long version. :)

I.Am.Kult.Of.Kal said...

Last thing from me today-
I uploaded his Stoner on the Mount videos:

Squonkamatic said...

Poor dumb deluded Kal K. Korff.

Propz to the lady friend who stated that most people don't have time to follow the idiot fringe on YouTube, by the way. For most of us YouTube is a way to see old music videos we never got a good look at, silly cat videos from CanIHasCheezeburger, tutorials on picking locks or movies/TV shows that we were always curious about. It's a diversion rather than a platform to the majority of it's non-industry users, which is exactly why it's losing money. Kal Korff has more in common with Chris Crocker freaking out about Britney Spears than he does with most of us, the main difference being that Crocker's content has a compelling nature to it that can be fun when in the right frame of mind. It's entertainment. That's why I suggest Kal rethinking his approach: the whole "education" angle is presumptuous and aggressively asinine. When he isn't wearing silly hats that is. I say more silly hats!

There's also a disconnect between the claims of wild popularity by Korff that isn't reflected in the play counts he gets for his videos. Someone found a statistic of around 1650 unique hits for Kalvin's website over a 30 day period, yet his videos are getting maybe 60 plays in 30 days, suggesting that his readers really aren't interested in his video postings. Even if it's being watched as an embed on his site the number of plays by unique users is shown, so of those 1650 visitors only a small minority are actually looking at the videos, and the conjecture that most of them are Korffers keeping an eye on Kalvin's antics is probably right on the money.

But back to the real reason why I'm chiming in here, Kalvin's continuing delusional obsession with Royce Meyers the 3rd. There's a kind of SO WHAT? factor involved with seeing someone boasting of their competition with a website that's been effectively abandoned by it's creator and archived on someone else's server as a favor to them. Royce hasn't added any content or updated his information since 2007 and according to the statistics from is still cleaning Kalvin's clock. But SO WHAT? he obviously doesn't care -- Who is the Professor trying to impress by boasting of doing better? Who cares? Or who is supposed to care?

Squonkamatic said...

Kal did win a couple of points with me with some of the images included in his laborious 3 minute introduction bit. If nothing else it looks like Kal's been having some fun in Prague and did some things that he's proud of. Why he can't just talk about those things and constantly has to drag these ninnying idiotic comparisons to other people is what nags at me. Whatever points he may have scored with some of those clips or stills (I like the one of him getting that trophy -- but what was it FOR??) is instantly undone by reading that now he's dedicating a "book" on his brother's case to Royce and making some pinhead "documentary" on his laptop about his issues with Stanton Friedman.

Hell he should have done that long, long ago if he was really serious about it, which reinforces the conclusion that the only reason he's doing it now is an attempt to discredit Paul Kimball before "Worlds Away" premieres. Which is petty, juvenile, asinine and childish, especially when one considers that Paul actively tried to get Kal to play a direct role in the documentary, going so far as to actually visit Prague with his camera crew or whoever. Kalvin's response was to go into hiding and now attack Paul indirectly via Stanton, which is cowardly and cheap.

Kal K. Korff really IS his own worst enemy. His critics don't have to do anything except continue being who they are and let Kal go postal every other week. The fact that Royce Meyers can do so without actually doing anything is udderly hilarious, and sad at the same time. Sad that this 48 year old guy can't just get on with his life, it seems as though he's enjoyed some of it and that's what his potential audience might respond to, not the negativistic mindless obsessive attacks on those who could really care less what he thinks or does.

More silly hats!!!

Squonkamatic said...

D'oh -- that was supposed to be a 3 post yarn and somehow I lost the middle section. Kal, just get over the Royce thing and the Randle thing and the Kimball thing and the Friedman thing and the Tonnes thing and the Biedney thing. Show us more of you having fun & getting somewhere with your own pursuits. We really don't care about your conflicts with these people and they give your critics more of an argument than you can apparently handle on your own.

Now back to our regularly scheduled lives, away from the idiot fringe.

Anonymous said...

>>> and let Kal go postal every other week. The fact that Royce Meyers can do so without actually doing anything is udderly hilarious, and sad at the same time. <<<

The same can be said for this blog, although RMIII really does do NOTHING to get Kalvin's goat.

This blog just sets Kalvin up for some kind of silly response.

It's really too bad that Kalvin couldn't work up the nut sack to meet with Kimball, on his own turf, and take him on, head on and SPEAK FOR HIMSELF.

As Ray Santilli said when queried the question, "Ray, this could go on forever!" Santilli, "Great, so be it."

Kalvin, keep reading this blog and await your comeuppance, from... Worlds Away.

Anonymous said...

Posted July 27, 2007

Lookin' good, Kal!

Anonymous said...

Let’s see if I understand the latest from Kernel Fruitcake. Lieutenant Colonel Kevin Randle is bad because he said that the FBI threatened people to keep them quiet about this Roswell thing. Kernel Cupcake said that the properly elected sheriff of an Oregon county is a liar and has engaged in a cover up on the shooting of another Korff.

Kernel Nutbread said that the properly appointed peace officers have engaged in a cover up to hide who shot Korff and that they had no legal right to shoot him. These deputies engaged in lying and falsifying evidence in the incident and are bad people, not who you think of when talking about deputies and law enforcement officers.

I’m sorry, I don’t get the difference. Colonel Randle was repeating what people told him, all properly documented. Kernel Kumquat has alleged documentation but all we see are his various rantings about this and his claims of “forensic” evidence but the Korff brother is sitting in the slam, not found “innocent” but not guilty on the more serious charge. He’s still in the slam and was found guilty on other charges, unless Kernel Magpie has some magical way of showing us all how the justice system was rigged against the Korff family and then we’re back to Kernel Beanbag maligning the whole of Oregon and US justice, which again, doesn’t seem as bad as anything Colonel Randle said.

And didn’t Kernel Grocery Sack go after Lieutenant Colonel Jesse Marcel, Sr., a man who served in a real Army during the Second World War, earning not only a couple of Air Medals but also the Bronze Star. Who has more credibility here?

And what about Colonel Jesse Marcel, Jr. Didn’t Kernel Hockey Puck make some nasty comments about him, a man who just recently served in Iraq, who has a real medical degree, and who is now retired from a real military organization? Shouldn’t Kernel Door Knob offer some evidence that this meta-organization exists in a real world rather just keep spewing the nonsense that the name is Jewish and none of us can read Hebrew?

Kernel Fruit Pie has offered no proof of his wild claims about S3, yet continues to refer to himself as a colonel when he has no right to the title, unlike those other three men who rose through the ranks of military organizations recognized around the world and that all have a web presence that is not linked back to them. Our friend, Kernel Door Bell can’t provide a single shred of evidence that anyone has ever offered him a commission in any officially recognized organization and I include the Civil Air Patrol and the State Guard Association of the United States.

So, Kernal Hubcap, how about taking off the rank insignia that you didn’t earn, stop calling yourself a colonel, or realize that the Stolen Valor Act of 2006 comes into play? You might be living in Prague, but you are still an American citizen and the law applies to you. And even if you belong to some Israeli organization, you should be wearing Israeli rank and not American. It won’t be long before someone turns your name into the FBI, who has jurisdiction in these cases. You might want to check out the law before the FBI asks you some embarrassing questions about your title.

And isn’t it against the law for an American citizen to belong to a military organization in another country? Oh, yeah, this is some kind of civilian organization that is going to open an office in Prague. Where is that office?

Maybe you should apologize to the real colonels and take off you unearned rank.

Anonymous said...


Kernel Fruitcake
Kernel Nutbread
Kernel Kumquat
Kernel Beanbag
Kernel Grocery Sack
Kernel Hockey Puck
Kernel Door Knob
Kernel Fruit Pie
Kernel Door Bell
Kernal Hubcap

Maybe you should apologize to the real colonels and take off you unearned rank.

Anonymous said...

UFO WatchCat Gets Ready To Purr Again... PDF Print E-mail
News - Latest News
Written by Public Relations
Friday, 19 June 2009 10:22

UFO WatchCat will return shortly.


Anonymous said...

We psychically predict, although we are NOT "psychic" that what this means…

>>> UFO WatchCat Gets Ready To Purr Again... <<<


Kal is trying to persuade Martina to come back by putting up a section on his template site which "might" help generate for Martina some much needed cash.

I say might because, none of the links work and nobody goes to his site but Korffers and people interested in Korffing.

It’s a come on, as in “Come on Martina, I’ll let you sell stuff off my site if you’ll just loan me that camcorder again!”

Martina, please, I implore you, don’t believe anything this little Toad tells you.

Run off to Hawaii before it’s too late.


Anonymous said...

Kal loses to this guy on so many levels. Instead of going after the big fish, the SAPSTOE aims his nanobot-tech parts at RMIII, David Biedny, Paul Kimball.

It's enough to put a smile on my face.


Anonymous said...

Poor Kal, the walls are closing in!

F1 Racer

Anonymous said...

"I like the one of him getting that trophy -- but what was it FOR?"
---as we all know, Kalvin used to write a crappy "English language column" for the crappy, and now defunct, "Metropolitni expres" - a freebie newspaper that was handed out on Prague's metro system.

Metropolitni expres fielded a side to take part in a five-a-side soccer tournament against teams from other Prague-based newspapers.

Metropolitni expres's team came second in the tournament, and Kal's teammates nominated him as the guy who would step up and accept the trophy at the awards ceremony (which was a small segment of a larger media event).

That's it. No big deal. Though that didn't stop him devoting an entire column to the shenanigans (including some hopelessly inaccurate/non-existant soccer terminology in the "vocabulary list at the bottom).

There was also brief footage of the awards ceremony in one of his very earliest YouTube videos.

Gotta get on with living now...

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Oooh, just noticed. The "Colonel" has just posted Kutna Hora - part 2. I think I'll save it up for tonight.

You're pathetic, "Colonel". Dear God, how I loathe you...

Squonkamatic said...


Anonymous said...

Dear God in heaven, you are insane, Korff. Completely mad.

Anonymous said...

>>> ... Kal's Korner will broadcast regularly now each TUESDAY EVENINGS, not on Saturday mornings like it did on The 'X' Zone Radio Show. <<<

Yes, like you DID, Kalvin. Booted off your only opportunity.

>> During the next few weeks and its partner web sites will make the transformation into a new online TV network. <<<

Okay, now it would be common for any " partner web sites" to link to your template site so let’s see....

A basic search turns up:

Many of these links are from a few years ago. And the majority is negative in nature.

Anyway, I went through them and, surprise, I can't find a one which would "seem" to want to partner with Kernel Kupcake.

I might be wrong. I don't think so, but I might be...

Oh, regarding those Bone Church videos? I think they were shot with a still camera, using the video option. Listen carefully and you can hear the shutter cover hitting body of the camera and the look and sound seem a good fit.


Anonymous said...

Hey, "Colonel" - read this:

You cowardly, lying piece of shit...

Anonymous said...

How long till Kal takes full credit for the Iranian Revolution going on right now?

F1 Racer

Anonymous said...

re: Kutna Hora bone church.
Kal gives us an 'exclusive look' in his 2-part videos. Duh! Not very exclusive, since YouTube has over 600 other videos of the same thing, some with identical footage!
Does anyone actually believe that Kal travelled the 40 miles or so to Kutna Hora and paid the 70 Kcz admission and camera fees just to take that footage?
Personally, I'd rather watch Martina model her new line of skimpy little clothing things!

(No bones about it!) - LOL


Anonymous said...

>> some with identical footage! <<