Wednesday, September 24, 2008


Kal I'm still waiting to see the case number from the supposed criminal complaint you said you filed with the FBI and the DOJ. Where is it Kal or is just ANOTHER MEANINGLESS THREAT issued by you in RETALIATION for Cables and Simms filing a lawsuit against you?

Kal do comment on what it feels like to have dealt out dozens of lawsuit threats and what it feels like to be on the receiving end of a REAL LAWSUIT against you and not a BOGUS THREAT like you give out all the time.

Will Kal act like a law abiding person and return to Prague to face the charges or will he do what the GUILTY do and keep running? Will Kal do the honorable and ethical thing and comply with the law or will he SHIRK the law?

So where is this case number Kal? I want to verify there actually is a criminal complaint filed by you against someone. Here is yet ANOTHER chance for you to PROVE your claim. It is up to you to PROVE it because you have made the claim! If you can't provide a simple case number then I suppose it is far beyond you to muster the courage to admit there was no investigation to begin with. And just in case you are thinking about making up some lame excuse I talked to a good friend of mine who said that once a case number is filed it just doesn't go away. No matter what happens that case number is permanently stored in records. And Kal do you also have the name of the case agent and which office the report was filed with?

I'm not holding my breath for this one. Until Kal provides proof that anyone can confirm I'm caling this another BULLSHIT THREAT made by Kal. I'm not at all surprised considering that not one of the legal actions Kal says he is going to take has come true. No lawsuits, no audits, no complaints filed and a lot of hot air is standard for how Kal handles his business.


Anonymous said...

What excuse can Kal offer for not providing the number for this case? Surely Kal's "mobile" computer interface is technologically advanced enough for him to make a post to his website in less a few minutes.

My money is on Kal not providing anything. But doesn't Rob McConnell have this case number and as a "journalist" shouldn't he provide it to the public for authenticity?

Rob, if you're still reading this, did you get those nanobots and are you going to have them verified? I'm sure there is a university where you live with a micrscope.

My question is why in the world would Kal ever just place them in a book and not a nifty glass vial like he had previously shown?

I must say that hearing Kal state the nanobots might slip out of the book was a convenient excuse for Kal if Rob decided to have the nanobots checked out.

Kal must be the most successful i-Pod salesperson on the planet to be able to afford nanotechnology. The lab alone to produce nanotechnology and the cost of personnel runs in the tens of millions of dollars. So how is Kal able to afford this?

I don't think I have to go on pointing out the obvious flaws and inconsistencies in many of Kal's claims. I'm just surprised anyone would believe any of it in the slightest.

Anonymous said...

KIAI - I consider myself something of an expert on all things Korff. It was I, for example (incensed by the nonsense "Colonel" Korff spouted every day in his Metropolitni expres column here in Prague) who started the first Kal Korff string (and the second, when the administrators canned the first after Kalvin issued one of his bullshit legal threats.
But I cannot recall the Great Man ever offering up a "SORRY ASS EXCUSE for the KPMG audit and why it isn't happening."
Could you fill me in, please?

Anonymous said... is OBVIOUS what HAPPENED to the CASE NUMBER !!!!!!

Kal's NANOBOTS ATE it !!!!!

Squonkamatic said...

I showed this blog update to my lady friend and again she took one look at the picture on top and blurted out "What's that -- another one of his disguises?" Interesting again!

Women are often more preceptive than men on certain things. Is this really the way Kal K. Korff looks? Or does he just don these costumes when going on camera so he can remove them afterwards and not be recognized in public? It's a valid point, even that mustache he supposedly grew doesn't look "real", as in natural, even though I watched it grow over the months in a series of video clips. I have no doubt that this is the way Kal K. Korff really looks & dresses, but a little movie watching law came to mind: The First Rule Of Applied Razors, which works like this:

Whenever a major name-brand actor appears at the beginning of the movie with abundant and poorly groomed facial hair the reason they have it is so it can be shaved off as a plot point. A fitting example would be the movie version of THE FUGITIVE with Harrison Ford who sports a thick, bushy beard at the beginning of the movie for the sole purpose of shaving it off later when he tries to alter his appearance.

I am sure that's Kal K. Korff's mustache rather than a paste-on but doesn't it look odd on him? Has sort of a Slavic droop to it that reminds me of watching cheap European made westerns with lots of supporting characters with funny names that have lots of umlauts. At the time when he first started growing it I said it just happens to look like the guy from Motorhead, who just happens to look like the guy from Spinal Tap. Life imitating art imitating life, a running theme in my own Kal K. Korff thesis. It's a part of his permanent disguise that he thinks helps him blend in with the crowds over there, just like Bigfoot's hat and the Frito Bandito vest.

All of which are odd clothing choices to say the least: Maybe he only dresses up like this when he's planning to be on camera or make a public appearance as Kal K. Korff. Someone else pointed out that maybe Rob McConnell knows something about Kal K. Korff, or that Kal K. Korff is really a cover identity for somebody else who either wishes to remain anonymous, or is known by a different name. What better way to do so than create some ridiculous looking public persona that you can shed with a costume change? And as I speculated on yesterday this all CAN'T be on the level, especiall the iPod Delivery video in light of these very serious charges from Cables & Simms and Vojtek. It really does look like some sort of weird internet based performance art project, or a daily soap opera intended to keep those interested riveted with today's installment ... "TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER OF ... KAL K. KORFF!"

Someone asked me once how I intended to use the internet as a way to further my own career and my decision was boring, predictable functions like an online portfolio or using HTML code to make images on web pages without using standardized graphics programs. Which is CHILD'S PLAY! compared to whatever performance project this Kal K. Korff thing is. I'm actually somewhat inspired here. It's like someone took the "LonelyGirl15" idea and injected UFOs, Bigfoot, international espionage agents and now petty criminals, with a daily changing supporting cast of "bad guys" (Royce Meyers III, Paul Kimball, Kevin Randle, f1Racer) who unwittingly become Kal K. Korff's foils.

There's even a love interest (Martina Tycova, or whoever the hell she really is: remember the video of her showing a Czech cemetery? how weird was THAT??), a child with a genius IQ, exotic foreign locales with colorful local scenery (Prague, Switzerland), some friendly sidekicks (Rob McConnell, the guy who gave him Bigfoot's hat), visits to important public places that are instantly recognizable (i.e. the U.S. Embassy, which has functioned sort of like a General Hospital), staged or phony videos of him interacting with public spaces to establish location (the scene in front of the Czech memorial, the crowd scene where he "delivers" the 32gb iPod to "Katerina"), and then the whole overblown melodrama of personal conflicts with threats of lawsuits, slander trials, charges of libel -- none of which anybody could possibly take seriously.

It all sounds like an elaborate put-on, or performance, scripted in advance and posted on the internet in bits to keep the audience tuning back in the next day, even though just like in a soap opera nothing much really ever happens, and characters spend a lot of time standing around summarizing events up until now for the benefit of audience members who might have missed the previous installment. See what I'm getting at here? Either this is some elaborately planned out put-on, or Kal K. Korff is such a complete misfit and dingbat that he can't possibly come across as totally authentic even when he IS being on the level.

There's even an audience participation level to the proceedings: Now he is apparently going to great lengths to look guilty as hell in regards to the allegations by Cables & Simms. We even have a poor unfortunate innocent victim role for Vojtek Sadlacek, and just like the strapping "Deputy Jim" character we now have the specter of the FBI being raised in a situation where they couldn't possibly be of any use. When did he call the FBI? From the same phone booth where he was talking to Rob McConnell? Did he go to an FBI field office? Is he in Germany, Switzerland, or Czech Republic? NOBODY KNOWS!!

I'm not saying for a second that this is what I believe is going on, I am just trying to figure out a rational explanation for it being as completely nuts & stupid as it all seems to be. I will admit too that I have looked upon this as an alternate source of ENTERTAINMENT over the past four or five months. It's been fun to follow along at home, I love a good mystery or drama and as others have said, this stuff is priceless. If it's being done deliberately it's a wonderful performance, if it's real life then it's stranger than any fiction I've ever known.

Anonymous said...

one word:



Bob In Florida said...

Squonk, I'm with you. On Kal's first visit back to the X-Zone, you know, his "triumphant return" he mentioned about his "thesis" and how it dealt with human behavior. He kind of got lost in the bullshit, but it really did make me think that "all this" was just an act of some sort...a very public test or experiment to see how people would react in a given situation.

Maybe it *is* completely fabricated just to see how it would play out? And maybe we're all playing right into Kooky Kal's big plans.

Anonymous said...

I think Kal is actually playing games, at least in part. He is trying to recover some of his previous 'fame' while at the same time trying to get as much attention to himself as possible, even though it's usually negative.
Have you noticed his recent ploy with Rob McConnell? After his no-show for the Roswell debate with Kevin Randle, he sends Rob an autographed copy of his 'best-selling' book, complete with nanobots, then a free iPod to boot. Then today, a posting on his website for the Xzone advertising offer. The reason is obvious - he wants to keep his weekly air time slot on the xzone radio show. In plain English, it's called BRIBERY.


Brad said...

Hmm, just tried to leave a comment on Kal's YouTube page and I was informed that "that functionality has been disabled".

How can I get my "e-mails" to Kal for him to reprint on his website???

Squonkamatic said...

LOL looks like the computer wizard finally learned how to manage his YouTube channel settings.

Squonkamatic said...

LOL, the "Stolen" Laptop: SOLVED! video update has now been deleted. Well well well!

Bob In Florida said...

Why does Kal do this? He puts these videos up and then takes them down. Like that "I sent nanobots to Rob McConnell inside the cover of my best-selling book!" bit. Hey, I believed it...not! Now the "Delivery" video - gone? Damn! Kal wiggles and wriggles more than that chick I saw tonight on "Dancing With The Stars."

By the way, when Squonk likened Kooky Kal to YouTube's "LonelyGirl15" I have to say that I actually LOL'd. Too funny, man.

Anonymous said...

THE MACZONE article on Korff has disappeared! DID ANYONE TAKE A SCREENSHOT?

Anonymous said...

I just read Rob McConnell now claims to be an investigative journalist. But Rob says his show is "largely an opinion show" so which is it? News? Opinion? Rob couldn't tell the difference between *real* investigative journalism and a gopher hole. If Rob could he would have found out how full of shit Kal Korff was a long time ago. Those two must have some sort of business arrangement.

Kult of Kal said...

Yup, the MacZone article is gone, but thanks to Google Cache...

I googled one of the serial numbers and the cached article came up.

Silly Kal, no one can run from Google Cache!

Squonkamatic said...

I saved the article to disc in anticipation of it being taken down. Kal K. Korff has been a busy little beaver hasn't he? I say the next thing to go will probably be the re-post of the iPod delivery tape. Back it up now!!

jayoss99 said...

Try ZillaTube for copying his videos. It's cheap and easy to use. Not an ad, just a fact.

You can also call up old wbeiste pages at You can run and erase things, but you can't hide Kal.

BritinPrague said...

I have a brother who works in the psychiatric field. He says that so many of the disorders he comes across are as the result of the frustration that derives from "five-star ambition, four-star ability" (well, OK - in your case, it's more like one-star ability ... but you get my drift).
So may I make a suggestion? Instead of all this smoke and mirrors, why not just find yourself a steady job, get your head down, and by dint of your honest labour, carve yourself a respectable position in society?
Trust me - you'll be a lot happier for it.

Kult of Kal said...


A serious word here.

Beyond studying the large sack of misery named Kal, we should recognize several positive outcomes of this blog.

I, for one, have learned more about the importance of integrity, video editing, web security, psychiatric disorders, and certainly how NOT to foster relationships with my peers.
And just today, after revealing my identity to a fellow KIAI blogger, I also feel a bit closer to my Prague expat community.

Yes, this blog has been beneficial all around.

So, I raise my coffee mug as a toast and say "Thank you, Kal, for being you."

That's all; I felt it had to be said.

Anonymous said...

Well said, Kult!
BritinPrague (aka BritishTeacherInPrague)

Anonymous said...

Yep, you gotta' work for it Kal. Nothing is free and you are not entitled to anything unless you earn it.

Anonymous said...

Kal strikes again

Anonymous said...

Just a comment...I am new to this. I knew Kal in Jr/High School. He was quite wierd then and it seems still is. As for being 36...that must be an old posting. I haven't been 36 for @ 10 years, and as I stated, I knew him when. Wow...he's been busy! Googled him at the suggestion of another old friend I just got back in touch with. Didn't know he had been so prolific. Not surprised to see he is pulling the wool over so many eyes...