Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Conniving Kal at it again

Desperately trying to pull himself together after HUMILIATING himself by not only showing his true colors as a COWARD but also being kicked out of the Czech Republic , Conniving Kal is back to it once again trying to convince all that he will be doing another debate on the XZone show this time with a flying saucer chap named Michael Horn. This by the way is the same Michael Horn where Kal came uncorked and wrote to him saying "I got the rights to the Meier imagery fair and square and legally, so go fuck yourself sideways, Mikey."

Kal has said on his Internet website that he and Michael Horn will be doing a debate on the XZone show. This is rther peculiar because the host of the XZone show Rob McConnel said on this blog "Kal Korff has been in contact with me and wanted to have a debate between himself and Michael Horn the North American representative for Billy Meier. I declined to have Kal and the debate on the show. Kal is planning a Pay-Per-View debate with Michael Horn now, with the host and moderator Martina Tycova. I really do not know what his motive is since Billy Meier is one of the people that he was so adamant about charging with Consumer Fraud, and where Kal allegedly went undercover years ago."

Someone pointed out that Rob McConnel went through a lot of trouble to set the debate between Conniving Kal and flying saucer author Kevin Randle up only to have Kal turn tail and run at the last moment saying he could not be in the debate because of a "terrorist threat". One person commented on this blog prior to the debate that Conniving Kal would make up an excuse and not show up.

With this new debate stake Kal is driving I have to ask why in the world would Kal, who represents himself as a protector of consumers and one who fights against fraud, why in the world would Kal ever participate in a debate with Horn and also claim that it will be shot on DVD and sold? Is Kal not enabling someone he claims to be a fraud by providing them with money? And what did happen to all these lawsuits and consumer fraud charges Kal was going to level against this Michaelf Horn fellow and Billie Meier? Conniving Kal has been using this tiresome consumer fraud angle for some time now.

In fact I found an article on an Internet website where Kal says he is cooperating with authorities and consumer fraud charges are looming. This is the same tiresome mantra Kal has been using for what appears to be years. The bigfoot consumer fraud Internet article is from 2004!!!! So where are the authorities and lawsuits and criminal charges and the rest Kal????????

Kal is also back on the "nano-technology" horse again claiming that he is sending Rob McConnel "nanobot components" through the post. This reminds me of the HILARIOUS video where Kal provides the most ABSURD form of proof that he has nanobots by showing an EMPTY vial to the video camera and proclaiming it as absolute proof he has nanobots! ahahahahahahahaa! Everytime Kal shows something he says is proof I always wait to hear him utter "Just ask my mommy!" ahahahahahahahah

I hope Rob McConnel is not stupid enough to have Kal back on his show unless he plans to pin Kal down and take Kal to task over the never ending claims Kal makes that NEVER come to pass. I'd make a list of everything Kal claims to be happening that have not but I would need a seperate Internet Blogger site for that alone.

I should be careful so that Conniving Kal doesn't get furious and try to even the score with me by releasing his nanobot assassins to hunt me down and nano me to death! ahahahahahahahah


Robert said...

To the X Zone:

Rob please tell us you are not going to allow this crackpot Kal Korff back on the air. It is so obvious Kal is living in some fantasy world and can't provide any real proof.

Kal's claims are ridiculous and no real agent involved in anti-terrorism would ever be this public because he would have been killed a long time ago.

All of these claims regarding nanotech made by Kal are equally as preposterous. Do you have any idea how expensive this sort of technology is and the level of technical sophistication required? Kal has neither the money or the brains.

Rob, make a list of all of the claims Kal has made and see how many have come to fruition. Here are just a few for you:

* Lawsuit against Santilli
* Lawsuit against Billy Meier
* Lawsuit against Michael Horn
* Lawsuit against Royce Myers
* Lawsuit against David Biedny
* Criminal charges against Santilli
* Criminal charges against Meier
* Criminal charges against Horn
* Criminal charges against Myers
* Criminal charges against Biedny
* How many books published under alleged 500 book deal?
* $25,000,000.00 budget
* Terrorism book
* Roswell books
* "Explosive" Roswell material he was supposed to unveil July 2007

Rob, I could go on for quite some time with all of Kal's claims, but all you need do is look above and see that not a single one of those claims has occurred.

To put it politely, Kal Korff is full of hot air. Don't allow this dolt back on your show Rob. It was entertaining at first but now has come full circle to just being annoying. I for one will not listen to your show so long as you continue to have Kal on.

Anonymous said...


Pat said...

And where the fuck is this television show Korff supposedly signed a 3 year deal for? He posted it to his website then pulled it a few days later.

Rob McConnell should know better than to tease the animals in the zoo. I just hope Rob isn't scared of Kal doing to him what Kal has done to other people whol called Kal on his complete bullshit.

Even Philip Mantle, who is a complete gentleman, said Kal was full of it! What more do you need Rob? Which reminds me, I wonder just how long it will be before Kal starts going after Philip. Just take a look at the history here and you will see that those who once supported Kal who have said Kal is full of shit are now his targets.

Rob needs topull the plug on this fucktard Kal.

Anonymous said...

I've said it before, I'll say it now, and I'll probably say it again. McConnell entertained Korff and his fantasies FOR YEARS. What reputable broadcaster would give Kalvin an hour a week in which to spout his nonsense unchallenged and unverified. McConnell says he has set his "researchers" onto, um, "researching" Colonel Nutjob's claims. But why didn't he do this a long, long time ago.

Come along, Robert. I demand to know.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Take a look at page 8 at:
This is one of the krappy English teaching articles that Kalvin used to write until he got canned. Utter balderdash, I think you’ll agree. But what interests me is the photo caption - “Video credit: Avim Ashkenazi”.
Avim Ashkenazi, Kal followers will remember, was the “adjutant” that flew into Prague from Israel after Kalvin was “promoted to Colonel”.

Now look at: ["Kal Korff "Gets Buzzed" - Part 2"].

If you manage to sit through it to the end, you will hear the video cameraman talking in Czech to the hairdresser. Those of you who live in the Czech Republic will recognise instantly that this is someone with a native-speaker command of Czech. In fact, if I didn’t know his name was “Avim Ashkenazi”, I could’ve sworn he WAS Czech!

I was curious to learn how an Israeli who had only parachuted into Prague a few months before had so quickly managed to acquire a perfect command of the local language. So I sent Kalvin a message over YouTube.

To read the Colonel’s hilarious reply, check into my YouTube account. My user name is: “zenatycizinec”. My password is “kalisatwat”. Enjoy – but maybe someone (the owner of this blog?) could take a screenshot of Kal’s message. After all, once the brainless turd reads this he’s bound to log on to my account and delete it.

Anonymous said...

The same "Avim" who supposedly flew to Armenia to testify against Royce Myers where Myers's guilt "was certain" because Colonel Crackpot said he had contacts there? Where are all of these lawsuits and arrests? And who in the hell would ever file a lawsuit in Armenia? And what, what exactly would be the charge in the lawsuit?

Why would someone ever claim to file a lawsuit and then not do it? What purpose does that serve? If it's meant to scare someone this kind of shit doesn't scare anyone. And when it doesn't happen it just discredits the guy even more. WTF?

Anonymous said...

Here's the message from that was sent from Kal.


Reply from Kal Korff
Reply from Kal Korff

Dear Sir,

Thanks for your email, I am very sorry I only have a minute.

To settle the "mystery" here, where there is none really, Avim is an ARMENIAN Jew who lived in the former Soviet Union. He speaks several languages, including Russian and Czech. Regarding MY ability to "understand Czech," it is BETTER than people think. However, I am NOT supposed to try and speak ANY foreign languages except for and in the new reality-TV show I have that we film. There you'll see me speak several, including Armenian with Avim, because I took seven different ones throughout my life, and you see me TRYING to speak Czech, but of course those scenes won't run til we start filming in my new Czech class after the new year begins. I'm also taking violin lessons again like I used to when I was a small boy and have started composing music. My new Czech language instructor is also an accomplished violinist.

You can download for FREE my first single, go to and it is there, a song called Dorothy. If you decide to download it, please feel free to give it away. I hope you like the song. I can't read music, but I believe in the notion that if one DOESN'T know what one CANNOT do, the one can "achieve" anything, right? :-))

I'm supposed to "stay in character" (avoid Czech til the class and class scenes start) and we WANT people to hear Czech spoken by natives and interacting with native speakers of English because MOST of the viewing audience after things get posted on platforms such as YOuTube are OUTSIDE the Czech Republic.

I hope this answers your question, please remember that certain parties or "experts" until recently refused to even believe that Avim existed!

Avim, in fact, wanted his photos credited to "The man who doesn't exist," but I told him that if we start playing those "games" we are just as bad as the few bozos running around out there who spread such lies.

Now, they "admit" the obvious, that Avim exists, but of course won't apologize or admit they're wrong. They don't say anything, they "drop" the subject. And in the new shows we enjoy exposing them and reading their claims and mentioning their names and talking to their employers and colleagues to expose them in front of millions of people.

They deserve it.

Sincerely yours,

(Block User)
(Mark as Spam)

Nov 11, 2007

Anonymous said...

Did anyone else hear Kal's "single" called Dorothy? Kal claimed to have played instruments in it but if you heard it you can clearly tell this was done on an iMac and not in a studio. Wow. Musician. Is there nothing that Kal can't do? what a load.

My challenge to Kal is to show us you can actually play the instrument you claim and I believe there were four or five he mentioned on the X Zone radio program.

Bob in Florida said...

What am I, an idiot? Wait- don't answer that.

I click on and it redirects me to the uncriticalthinkers website. There, I see hundreds of widgets that don't do shit...videos of Elvis, a Metallica song called "The Day Never Comes" (how appropriate!) and monkeys doing the Riverdance. But for the goddam life of me, I can't find this "Dorothy" song.

Okay, and by the way, "Dorothy" is gay slang. You know...wink-wink, "friends of Dorothy." What is Kolonel Kooky trying to tell us here? Is he finally admitting what some of us have suspected for a long time...that "secretXwars" should really be called "SCARLETxWars"? What's next Kal, a big ol' rainbow banner in place of that goofy Star Trek header?

Dearest Brother Kal,

Re: Martina Ty..Ty...Whatsername

You have told me that Martina is a "supermodel." Well I have searched through every PLAYBOY and PENTHOUSE, HUSTLER, CHERI, and ASSMASTERS magazine you left me when mom kicked you out. (By the way, mom is not happy about that and would really like to have that bedroom back rather than used as a storeroom for your spankbooks. (I mean, even if we could just get rid of all of those ones that you told mom were =ahem= "bodybuilding" magazines, that would free up so much space! Mom's so oblivious, sometimes I think she's really crazy, but don't tell her I said that. She'd probably reply, "Me, Kathlene Kayla Korff, crazy?? You MUST be high!" Heh, little does she know...)

Anyways, I have searched diligently through internet porn sites, day and night, night and day, day and night again. For weeks...months! I've really beat my head against the wall looking for this chick of yours. I've searched Google for "scrawny Czech chicks who dig fat guys" but no dice! I can't find a picture of this bitch ANYWHERE!! She does kind of look like one of the girls in that "2 Girls 1 Cup" video on YouTube...from certain angles at least.

You know, I'm starting to doubt that "Martina" even exists except in your mind. I think you're really pulling our pud here - - just like the time you told us you were going to work at that super-secret veterinary place in California. What was it called...Lawrence Luckinbill Labradors or something like that? Ha-ha you really had us going on that one.

Alright I have to cut this short. I'm about to go down to the convenience store. I believe the latest issue of JUGGS Magazine came out today. Not that Martina would ever stand a chance in hell of appearing in that one, but you never know. And hey, it's a shot in the dark. Dammit, it's raining out, so I'm probably going to have to hitchhike. (sigh) Well, maybe some kindhearted souls will pick me up. We really have some nice neighbors in this area.

Your brother,

P.S. I...err, I was going to ask you something, but I forget what it was now. My mind is like such a sieve lately :(

Squonkamatic said...

This is fun:

"... nanorobotics refers to the still largely hypothetical nanotechnology engineering discipline of designing and building nanorobots. Nanorobots (nanobots, nanoids or nanites) would be typically devices ranging in size from 0.1-10 micrometers and constructed of nanoscale or molecular components. As no artificial non-biological nanorobots have yet been created, they remain a hypothetical concept."

And a bit further down:

Nanobots in fiction

Nanobots have been a recurring theme in many science-fiction novels, sci-fi shows and movies, such as the sci-fi show Red Dwarf where they are used to manufacture a new arm for Dave Lister." ... "Nanobots were also featured during the Sci-Fi Channel era of Mystery Science Theater 3000, where they were known as "nanites"."

There is also a link to a "main article" page regarding Nanotechnology In Fiction, which can be found here:

and contains this very familiar sounding segment:

"Science fiction writers like Michael Crichton have explored the potential risks of nanotechnology in their work.[4] Crichton's 2002 novel Prey is probably the first best-seller with a theme based entirely on nanotechnology. Prey is a cautionary tale about a colony of molecule-sized nanorobots that develop artificial intelligence and become dangerous. In an article in Parade magazine, Crichton suggests that nanorobots smaller than dust could be programmed to travel over other countries in a cloud to take reconnaissance photographs."

Nanobots being sent to other countries for covert surveillance? NOW WHERE HAVE WE HEARD THAT BEFORE ....

So, I think we can forget about the nanobot business. He ripped it off Micheal Crichton, and something tells me that if we look closely at the books on the shelf back in Colonel Crunchberries' Prague bachelor pad will probably find the spine of a book with the words "Prey" and "A Novel By Michael Crichton" written on it.


Anonymous said...

If I read kooky Kal's article right, he wants to set the protocols for the debate between himself and Michael Horn. Trying to get an advantage Kal?
Not that it will make any difference. Horn is just as loopy as our kernel Kal. Should be good entertainment watching those two explode.

BritinPrague said...

"...I can't find this "Dorothy" song."
---that's because that YouTube message is over 10 months old. The "Dorothy" song has long since been deleted.

I'm really looking forward to hearing the "Colonel" rapping in Armenian with "Avim", though.

Anonymous said...

ah my daily dose of comedy that is Kal!

BTW Im still waiting for the cops to show up!

F1 Racer
aka Francis Underwood
waitin for the cops

Anonymous said...

Could you take and post a screenshot of Kal's preposterous YouTube message to me?

YouTube Username: zenatycizinec
Password: kalisatwat


Zenatycizinec/Jimmy D